The House is a piece of garbage

Movie Title:  
The House

Grade:  F because it has 3.8 million F-bombs in it (and it's a terrible movie)

Rating: R

In a Nutshell:   Why are so many trashy movies coming out in theaters that glorify extremely bad behavior?  

If you like being assaulted by an F-bomb every 2.7 seconds, watching people throw up and get high, then this raunchy piece of garbage is for you.

Uplifting theme: 

•  Family
•  Crime pays? 
• College is expensive and makes parents go crazy

Things I liked:

• I liked seeing Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler together again.  Besides their SNL background, they were both in Blades of Glory ten years ago. Honestly, Amy Poehler was better than Will Ferrell in this flick. If you see this in theaters, you'll also see Will Ferrell being featured in the upcoming sequel of Daddy's Home.
• Jason Mantzoukas was really good in this.  He and Amy Poehler were both in the zany  Parks and Recreation: The Complete Series TV show together.
• The premise is somewhat interesting, so I was curious what they were going to do with the idea.  I live in Las Vegas, so I'm definitely familiar with the idea that the "house always wins." The movie could have been really interesting.  It wasn't.
• There is mention of Panera Bread.  Man, I love that place! I thought it about during the rest of the movie.

Things I didn’t like:

•  It's vulgar and stupid.   
• You might chuckle a time or two, but it's not very funny.
• The family is totally into watching The Walking Dead: Season 1.  I was a fan for a few seasons, but I'm over it.  It seems they could have picked a newer TV show to be obsessed about.
•  This is director Andrew Jay Cohen's first film.  Hopefully, he learns from his mistakes and chooses better writers next time.

Funny lines:

• “One of us has to be an adult here.  So, you be it.” – Kate Johansen (Amy Poehler)
• “What about Bob?” – Bob  (Nick Kroll)   The Johansens laugh and refer to the movie Bill Murray was in called What About Bob?.  Bob then says, “Am I the only one who doesn’t get Bill Murray?”  Yes, Bob.  Yes, you are.  By the way, you should see What About Bob? instead of this one.  
• “Did you just say whom?” – Scott Johansen  (Yeah, I’m a Grammar Nazi too.)

Tips for parents: 

• TONS of marijuana, cocaine, alcohol, gambling, blood-gushing violence, and vomit. 
• People flip the bird.
• Full frontal nudity of men and women walking down the stairs quickly.
•  This is NOT a movie you could show your family with a filtering service.  You would see about a 5 minute clip after the service wiped all of the garbage out.  This is a true Rated R movie.

MOVIE REVIEW MOM

@trinaboice 

Logan's Rated R surprises superhero fans

Movie Title:   Logan

Grade:  B

Rating:   R, 135 minutes

In a Nutshell:  This is NOT your typical Marvel superhero movie.  For starters, it’s Rated R with tons of bloody violence, trampy girls, and an aging Wolverine wearing reading glasses.

It's the first Rated R movie to feature Wolverine and is a very dark, brutal movie.  It has some thoughtful reflection peppered in between the explosive action sequences.

One of the best things about seeing Logan in theaters is the Deadpool short right before the movie starts.  Hilarious.

Uplifting theme: 

•  Love, friendship, loyalty
•  Don't judge people. 

Things I liked:

• I love love love Hugh Jackman.  He can truly do it all.  I hated seeing him drunk and lost though.
• Patrick Stewart is awesome too.  I didn't like seeing him old and helpless though.
• Boyd Holbrook does a great job as the bad guy.
• I always get a kick out of Stephen Merchant, but the character he plays in this movie is nothing like you've ever seen him play before.  Kudos to him for having two movies in theaters right now!  (He plays his typical nerdy self in Table 19.)  
• It was funny to watch Wolverine read comics about himself.
•  Some of the characters watch the movie Shane.  It's one of my dad's favorite movies, so I noticed it!
• Logan's license plate said "wer112".  ha ha

Things I didn’t like:

·        Some Spanish without subtitles.

·       I didn’t like seeing Charles Xavier as a helpless old coot.

·       There’s lots of shaking and loud noises that make the mutants 
         go crazy, which is super annoying to sit through.

·       I didn’t enjoy watching a little girl be super violent.  Dafne 

         Keen did a great job though.

·       It's sad to see Wolverine tired, old, cranky, and mean.

*        I'm not an X-Men comic book junkie by any means, but there

          is a character that's not in the comic books.  It looks like the

          screenwriters just made it up.

Interesting lines:

• From the song in the movie: “I hurt myself today to see if I could still feel.  I focused on the pain, the only thing that’s real.”
• “You know, Logan, this is what life looks like: a home with people who love each other.  You should take a moment to feel it.” – Dr. Xavier
• "I always know who you are.  It's just sometimes I don't recognize you." - Dr. Xavier
• 
  
• Tips for parents: 

• Tons of profanity, including LOTS of F-bombs.
• TONS of bloody, gory, violent fighting.
• You might not want your children to see this gritty version of Wolverine.
• The theater near my house posted this warning to parents:  

@trinaboice 

Fist Fight showcases the worst of American high school

Movie Title:    Fist Fight

Grade:  D for don't waste your time on this garbage

Rating: R, 1 hour 31 minutes

In a Nutshell:   #TeacherFight

This filthy movie features about 947,633 moments of profanity, bullying, drug-use, porn, and a huge variety of inappropriate and lewd behavior by high school teens AND adults. 

Uplifting theme: 

• “It takes courage to grow up and to become who you really are.”   e.e.cummings
• “Words are always going to matter.” – English teacher
• “Actions have consequences.” – Ron Strickland (Ice Cube)
• As I always tell my 4 sons, “Be. A. Man.”
• If you don't stand up for yourself, who will?

Things I liked:

• Andy Campbell is the perfect wuss.
• Jillian Bell is hilarious, but inappropriate 99% of the time.
• Christina Hendrick smolders, as always.
• Occasionally funny pranks.  I was Senior class president of my high school and planned an awesome Senior Prank.  I sent home letters to all the parents of seniors, explaining that the students would have a particular day off school for some legitimate-sounding reason, forging the principal's signature.

Things I didn’t like:

• There has to be premise for the fight, but Ron Strickland (Ice Cube) throws a temper tantrum in a classroom, destroys school property, and then picks a fight with another teacher.
• Tracy Morgan always plays the same character in everything.  I walked past him in an airport once and said, "Hey!"  He answered back, "Hey yourself."
• I hate the expression “Snitches have stitches.”  I’ve heard students say that before.  It encourages the lack of consequences. 
• I hated the talent show where little elementary school student Ally (Alexa Nisenson) drops a million F-bombs.  NOT adorable.
• I chuckled a few times, but it’s mostly not funny.
• Ice Cube was good, but he pretty much plays the same character in everything he does too: tough, scary guy matched up with a weasely light-weight who plays the comic relief.

Funny lines:

• “No meth period.” – Andy

“When I’m on my period, don’t do it?  That’s when I need it the most.” – Holly

“Holly, this has got to stop!” – Andy

“Cuz it’s a gateway?” – Holly

“It’s the finish line!” – Andy

• “The guy’s a virtuoso.” – janitor

“That doesn’t seem so scary.” – Andy

“You didn’t see his eyes.” – janitor

• “Where do I get drugs?” – Andy

“You’re in a public high school in the United States of America. There couldn’t be a better place to get drugs.” – Holly

• “Whoever dies first haunts the school!” – Holly 

Tips for parents: 

• This is a true Rated R movie that is not family-friendly viewing.
• Tons and tons of profanity.
• Tons of inappropriate images of porn, underage sex talk, and masturbation.
• It makes American high school look like it’s filled with complete drug & porn addicted delinquents.

@trinaboice 

Why Him? features comedic talent, a gazillion F-bombs, and tons of crude jokes

Movie Title:    Why Him?

Grade:  D

Rating:  R, 111 minutes

• In a Nutshell:  This film definitely earns its R rating for every reason. 
•  If you use a language or content filter when you watch this movie on DVD, it will basically be a 5 minute silent movie.  It’s FILLED with trashy, raunchy humor.  There is a LOT of inappropriate behavior, images, and language. 

Uplifting theme: 

• “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” – Ned Fleming (Bryan Cranston)

Woah.  Chills.” – Laird Mayhew (James Franco)

• Give people a chance to be who they are.

Things I liked:

• The cast includes GREAT comedic talent: James Franco, Bryan Cranston, Megan Mullally, and Keegan-Michael Key.  They all have excellent comedic timing and an even spread of funny lines between them. 
• Awesome toilets!  (Not the potty mouths.)
• Did you know Kelly Cuoco from The Big Bang Theory: Season 9 was the voice of Justine? 
• I liked that they got real celebrities to play themselves: Elon Musk, Steve Aoki, Richard Blais,  and Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley from KISS!
• I admit it.  I laughed out loud a few times.
• There's a reference from the movie The Pink Panther (2006) Did you ever see that movie?  Pretty fun.
• “Kevin!” (video clip from Home Alone)  I love it when movies reference other movies.

Things I didn’t like:

• Have you ever known anyone without filters?  Weird, right?.... and yet oddly refreshing.
• Director John Hamburg recycles a plot that is completely predictable with nothing particularly new to see.
• There were some other good comedy actors in the movie, but they were only given teeny, tiny parts: Adam DeVine, Andrew Rannells, Cedric the Entertainer, and Casey Wilson.
• They started to create a character who worked for Laird and did degrading jobs while he uttered “Pay my student loans, pay my student loans”, but then they didn’t keep the gag going very long.
• It always bugs me when they make child actors say and do crude things.
• There were scenes advertised in the trailer that never made it into the actual movie.  

Funny lines:

• “I feel like I’m so normal.” – Laird
• “Scotty, shut it and eat your paper.” – Ned
• “You think you’re at war with Laird, but he’s not fighting.  It’s just you.” – Barb Fleming
• “I’m going straight to hell just for typing this.” – Ned
• “I’m down to my last 97 million…197 million.” – Laird

“Barely scraping by.” - Barb

Tips for parents:   

• This is a Rated R movie for a reason.  It’s an even trashier version of Meet the Parents .  You really do NOT want your kids to watch this garbage.
• The language is really, really bad.  There is barely a sentence without profanity. Gustav explains, “He speaks English and you speak English with resounding amounts of F***!”  There are about a million F-bombs.
• You see James Franco's rear end.
• You see Bryan Cranston sitting on the toilet.  Of course, that's nothing new if you ever watched Malcolm In the Middle (loved it!) or Breaking Bad: The Complete Series   I don't know what it is about Bryan Cranston, but he loves to be seen in his underwear.

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates is raunchy and disgusting

Movie Title:    Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

  

Grade:  D- for disgusting

Rating:  R, 98 minutes of trash.   THIS MOVIE IS DEFINITELY R!

In a Nutshell:  Supposedly based on a true story, this vulgar comedy is always offensive and occasionally funny. 

Sam Richardson’s character explains the other characters well when he tells them, “You’re all self-absorbed, barely functioning, co-dependent weirdo’s.”  Yeah, pretty much.  They’re so moronic that they almost seem mentally retarded.   Not exactly my idea of good comedy.  Raunchy and disgusting.

Theme: 

• “I think reason we always get ourselves into such xxxx is because we’re always telling each other we’re awesome when we’re not being awesome.” – Alice
• “I think occasionally we should think about how we make other people feel.” - Alice

Things I liked:

• The cast is young, hip and really hot right now: Zac Efron, Anna Kendrick, Adam DeVine, and Aubrey Plaza.
• You get to see some fun things to do in Hawaii.  For example, you can actually drive ATV’s through the north part of Hawaii where they filmed portions of the movie Jurassic Park.

Things I didn’t like:

• This is a very crude movie with very little redeeming value.
• Zac Efron and Anna Kendrick deserve much better material than this.  Why would they choose to make such a trashy movie like this?
• What’s going on with Anna Kendrick’s color-changing wig?
• Alice and Tatiana are total skanks.
• It’s so over the top that it’s just dumb. 
• If this is how American young adults behave, then our country is truly in trouble.
• This is what happens when people have more money than brains.
• The trailer pretty much shows all of the funny parts.
• Adam DeVine and Anna Kendrick have a surprisingly bad musical number at the end.
• Super crude outtakes at the end.

Funny lines:

• “We’re not party ruiners; we’re party creators.” – Dave Strangle
• “We don’t rile each other up!!!” – Dave

“We never get riled!!!” – Mike Strangle

• “Tatiana, your underwear needs more underwear.” – Alice
• “Look at that personality from behind.” – Mike
• “The key to teaching children is repetition.  You’d be surprised how stupid they are.” – Tatiana
• “You look like Burn Victim Barbie.” – Mike
• “You are not a loser.  Dude, you introduced me to the Ninja Turtles.” - Dave

Tips for parents:   

•  A million F-bombs and other profanity.
• Girls wearing very few clothes, sometimes none at all.
• There is some risky, disrespectful, reckless behavior that will make parents cringe.
• There is a naked massage scene and sauna scene that are extremely inappropriate and graphic.
• There is a lesbian who keeps hitting on one of the girls.
• You see full frontal female nudity, as well as another woman’s bare breast.
• There MANY sexual jokes and conversations.
• There is a lot of binge alcohol drinking.
• Two girls take the drug Ecstasy and go crazy for several hours.
• This movie is pure trash.