The 33 pays tribute to the Chilean miners

Movie Title:      The 33

Grade:   B

Rating:   PG-13, 2 hours

In a Nutshell:  Based on the true account of 33 Chilean miners who were trapped far below the surface of the earth, this feel-good movie shows the human spirit and the power of hope.

At the beginning of the film, we’re told that every year, 12,000 miners die from mining accidents.  This movie is a tribute to all miners, as well as The 33 who endured a horrifying ideal that captured the attention of the entire world in 2010.  If it happened today, everyone would be plastering the Chilean flag all over their Facebook profile pictures.  :)

Uplifting theme: 

• Faith & Hope.  "Super" Mario, played by Antonio Banderas leads the miners and constantly inspires them to remainful faithful and hopeful.  At one point when some of the men begin to falter, he tells them, "I believe it, because I choose to believe it."  The only other option is despair, right?  That doesn't do anyone any good, right?
• "Moving on!"  - Mario

Things I liked:

• Antonio Banderas.  Men want to be him and women want to swoon over him. 
• I loved being able to see the real miners at the end of the movie.
• There is some decent CGI during the big cave-in scenes.  When everything has collapsed, the screen goes black and the audience sits in still darkness for almost a minute.  Then, you hear a cough.  Then, you finally see one of the headlamps of the miners.  It's a powerful scene done well.
• It's refreshing to see a government official who truly cares. The handsome Rodrigo Santoro plays Laurence Golborne, the Minister of Mining in Chile. 
• There is a sweet scene that shows the miners praying for the safety of their families.  That touched me, because they kept their faith and they were more concerned about their families than themselves. 
• Smaller parts played by other actors included James Brolin, Lou Diamond Phillips, Bob Gunton, and Gabriel Byrne.  The cast is actually very international, including actors from Argentina, Spain, Ireland, America, France, Chile, and more!
• I remember watching this story on the news, so it was really interesting to see what was going on down in the mine when we were only seeing what was happening above.
• Juliette Binoche's character sells empanadas on the street.  I watched this movie on an airplane while flying home from a trip to Panama, where their empanadas are made with corn meal flour.  I hadn't had those before.  Juliette's empanadas were the more familiar kind made from regular flour.  They looked delicious.

Things I didn’t like:

• It’s really hard to create suspense and tension for an audience that already knows how the story ends.
• Casting Juliette Binoche as a Chilean street vendor was a very odd choice.  Jennifer Lopez was originally cast for that role, but had to leave the film because of scheduling conflicts with her role as a judge on American Idol Season 11 Highlights .
• There are a few cheesy, overly dramatic moments.
• One of the miners is married with a mistress on the side.  We see the women have a cat fight over him, among other bad behavior.  I'll never understand a cheating man.  Just as bad, I'll never understand a woman who tolerates it.  The story line is supposed to provide some comic relief to the movie, but it just disgusted me.
• There isn't as much character development as I would have liked.  We only get to know a few of the miners, while the rest remain mere faces in the crowd.

Funny lines:

• “If we're really hungry, we can always eat the Bolivian.  I hear they taste like chicken.”  - miner
• “Hatred is for children.” - Jose henriquez (Marco Trevino)
•  "Elvis is in the building!" - Yonni Barrios (Oscar Nunez) 

Interesting lines:

•  "This is why we are here.  I can taste it.  Cooper and gold." - Mario
• "That's a big rock!" - miner                                                           "That's not a rock.  that the heart of the mountain.  She finally broke." - Mario
• "It's not about us.  I believe we have a moral responsibility.  Thirty-three is a lot of people." - Laurence Golborn
• "We can pray together." - Jose                                                      "I don't know the words." - Dario                                                "God doesn't care." - Jose
• "Family is all we have." - Mario

Tips for parents:   

*   This is a family-friendly movie with no profanity.
*   Other than the initial collapse of the mine, there isn't a lot of action and so, young children may become bored.  

SpongeBob brings nautical nonsense to the big screen

Movie: The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water

PG, 1 hour 40 minutes

Grade:  A

In a Nutshell:  If you love SpongeBob SquarePants, then you’ll get a kick out of this colorful movie adventure by United Plankton Pictures.  The beloved pineapple-dwelling sea creature, plus the wonderful Antonio Banderas and all of your favorite Bikini Bottom characters are featured.  It’s been 15 years since we had a SpongeBob movie.  This one is just as entertaining and random as the last one, filled with nonstop gags and nautical nonsense.

Uplifting Theme:

·         Teamwork and friendship

·         Do the right thing

·         Don’t judge someone without knowing all of the facts

Things I liked:

·         My kids grew up watching SpongeBob, and they’re now in their 20’s, so this movie’s fan base isn’t limited to rug rats.  There are a lot of physical and visual gags that adults will enjoy.  I laughed out loud a bunch of times for the sheer silliness of it all.

·         Be ready for lots of puns, including a “Bad Punz” band to celebrate them.

·         Look for the little details in every scene, and look fast because everything moves quickly!

·         I love the mixing of real life with animation.  The seagulls with Antonio Banderas were pretty cute.

·         Who doesn’t love Antonio Banderas?

-     Crabby Patties....mmmmm...
-     You'll never look at a sponge the same way again.  ha ha
-     Clever ending with the pirate singing in classic Spongebob fashion.

Things I didn’t like:

·         There are MANY jokes about pooping and passing gas.  I have to put this under the category of things I didn’t like, because I’m a mother, but I confess that they made me laugh every time.

·         Not worth paying extra for 3D.  Buy popcorn instead.
-   Every scene with Bubbles the dolphin is just too weird.

Funny lines:

·         “Welcome to the apocalypse, Mr. Squidward.  I hope you like wearing leather.” – Mr. Krabs  (Timed well for the release of the Mad Max movie, some of the characters wear Mad Max leather outfits during a funny post-apocalyptic scene.)

·         “It’s raining…tanks!” – random sea creature

“You’re welcome!” – Plankton

·         “Come on, SpongeBob!  Join me!  We’ll be rich and powerful until I betray you.” – Plankton
-  "I really blew it.  No, WE blew it...we're a team."  - Spongebob
    "No.  This one's on you."  - Patrick

Tips for Parents:

·         Exaggerated cartoon slapstick and violence

·         Clean language, but insult language (“jerk”, “stupid”)

·         Lots of skin…a lot of the movie takes place on the beach.

You'll want this one in your video library:

And while you're watching the movie, enjoy these Crabby Patty snacks!

Expendables 3 more of the same macho mahem

Movie Title:    The Expendables 3

PG-13, 1 hour 43 minutes

In theaters August 15, 2014

Grade: B-

In a Nutshell:   

There is no shortage of testosterone, nor bad guys to fight here, folks.  If you’ve seen the first two movies in the Expendables franchise, then you already know that the muscles, weapons and egos are all very, very large.

What makes this movie notable is that it’s rated PG-13, quite a feat since the first two installments were rated R.  The cast of macho men includes Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Terry Crews, Wesley Snipes, Antonio Banderas, Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Kelsey Grammer, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Dolph Lundren…what’s not to like?  Yeah, most of them are getting pretty old now, but they still know how to blow things up and kick you-know-what like nobody else.

Of course, the film isn’t complete without a few “Yeehaw”s and “That’s gotta hurt” lines during fight scenes.  Not heavy on a plot, this is all about the action, fight scenes, and seeing all of our favorite tough guys together.

Uplifting theme: 

• Family isn’t just the people you’re born to.

Things I liked:

• The camera zooms in on the angry eyes of team leader Sylvester Stallone, announcing to the audience that the real battle has just begun.  Classic.
• Antonio Banderas’ character, Galgo, is hilarious.
• True to real life, Sylvester Stalone’s character says to Arnold Schwartzeneggar’s character “I thought you retired.”  Arnold’s character says “I lied.”

Things I didn’t like:

• SPOILER ALERT:  Terry Crews' character gets wounded early in the movie, so don’t count on any of his classic dance moves with bouncing pecs.  Dang it.  His dancing (and singing too!) was hilariously creepy in the recent movie Blended.  Check out my movie review of Blended here.
• Harrison Ford is given the honors of dropping the only F-bomb in the movie.  Dang it.  I don't want to hear that coming out of his mouth.  (Yeah, my delicate ears make me a real prude.) 

Funny lines:

• “Relax.  You’ll give yourself a stroke.” – Harrison Ford to Sylvester
• “I could do that.”  - Sylvester says…a lot.
• “Is that the Big Dipper?  Yeah, we gotta turn around.” – Kelsey Grammer
• “You’re only old when you surrender.”  - Antonio Banderas
• “I need a job.  All I know how to do is killing people…and I do that very well.”  -  Antonio Banderas
• “If you wanted to fight, why didn’t you just get married?”  - Sylvester
• “Hurry up.  It’s boring.”  - Arnold Schwarzenegger
• “They put their noses in business where they didn’t belong and now they’re The Deletables.” – Mel Gibson
• “It’s hard to beat an enemy that’s living inside your head.” – Mel Gibson
• “Would you like to hold my gun?  Vamanos, chica.” – Antonio Banderas

Tips for parents:   Lots of profanity and violence…what did you expect from a movie packed with macho men?