San Andreas rocks the box office

Movie:    San Andreas [HD]

PG-13, 1 hour 54 minutes

Grade:  Special effects = A, Plot = C,  Dialogue = C

In a Nutshell:   There are a lot of moving rocks in this movie, but the best one is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson who is so big and strong that he could probably pull California’s tectonic plates together single-handedly.  Seriously, the guy is gigantic and just doggone fun to watch.  You get to see him rip a door right off of a car, as well as a bunch of other life-saving stunts. 

His box office draw is also huge: this film took in $53.2 million dollars opening weekend, completely crushing the competition.

Pay a little extra to see this one in 3D.  The CGI team was incredible.  I remember when the 1974 Earthquake movie came to a new theater near my house when I was a little girl.  The theater boasted that you could feel the shaking.  I could and was immediately addicted to disaster movies.  If you want that same experience, upgrade to IMAX.  If you’d rather save money, have your buddy sit next to you and bump into you every 3 minutes while you watch this silly popcorn flick.

Uplifting Theme:

·         Be prepared!   Paul Giamatti plays a professor at Cal Tech who is researching earthquakes.  He tells his class “It’s not a matter of IF, but WHEN.”  Later he laments “No one listens to us until the ground shakes.”  Sadly, that’s true.  You need to start preparing now.  It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark…

·         SPOILER ALERT:  There is a moment at the end of the movie where you see an American flag unfurl to show off the great American spirit and resolve a la post-9/11.  One character asks “So, what now?”  Another person states “Now we rebuild.”   

·         We have to help each other.  In the movie, in order to survive, the characters have to move to higher ground.  That’s not just physically-speaking.  We need to be better and kinder to one another.

Things I liked:

·         I get a kick out of Paul Giamatti, who consistently gives us good performances.  I’m currently watching his mini-series John Adams and recommend it to anyone who wants to learn more about one of America’s Founding Fathers and presidents.

·         The beautiful Alexandra Daddario plays Blake, The Rock’s daughter and the eye candy for the film.  Her acting and looks are more mature than when we last saw her in Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief .

·         Did you notice the purple trees surrounding the buildings at California Institute of Technology?  They must have taken those aerial shots over the campus last spring when the Jacaranda trees were in bloom.  Beautiful. Why would I even notice that?  Hey, I live in the desert in Las Vegas and notice anything that blooms!
     Notice the heart necklace floating in water at the very beginning.  It’s important.

·         If you’re a disaster freak, you get to see earthquakes, fires, and even a Tsunami.  Sorry, no plagues or pestilence.

·         I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area, so it was fun to see some of my old stomping grounds, although I wasn’t happy to see most of them destroyed!  Here’s a picture I took of Coit Tower when I visited there with my parents a couple of years ago.  It’s featured as one of the landmarks in the movie.   

Things I didn’t like:

·         Product placement in movies always kind of annoys me.  I had to snicker when every single student in Lawrence’s college classroom  owned a Mac.

·         Super dramatic music.  The movie takes itself very seriously.

·         I seriously wanted to shave Paul Giamatti’s scraggly beard.  Hey, I saw this movie in IMAX, so those fly-away facial hairs were all over the place!

·         SPOILER ALERT:  It’s so cliché to make the rich guy a complete jerk.

·         I have to admit that some of the material was pretty ridiculous.

Funny lines:

·         “It’s been awhile since I got you to 2^nd base.” – Ray says to Emma while they’re standing in San Francisco’s famous AT&T baseball stadium

·         “Elgin, if you move any faster, you’re going to break a hip.” – Ray

·         “Contrary to popular belief, scientists don’t know everything.”  - Lawrence

·         “I can’t wait to be 20.” – Ollie,  as he watches his big brother kiss a beautiful girl

·         “Who wants an A in an independent study class I’m starting: “how to hack media outlets!”?  - Lawrence

·         “If you’re not already dead, I’m going to F-n kill you!” – Emma (Carla Gugino)

Tips for Parents:

·         The PG-13 rating is for intense disaster sequences, a pretty high body count, and, as you can imagine, a lot of people swearing as they try to survive the death and destruction.  Most of the profanity is when people say “OMG” when they realize how serious a situation is, but Emma (the mom) gets the honor of dropping the only F-bomb in the movie because she’s ticked off that someone hurt her daughter.  Hey, you don’t mess with mama bears.

·         The college professor gives you a short history of the biggest earthquakes in the history of the world at the beginning of the movie.  Did you know the largest earthquake in North America was a gigantic 9.1 in Alaska?

Prepper tips based on this movie:

·         Be married to a hulk of a man who has easy access to a helicopter to save you.

·         “You need to drop, cover, and hold on because your life is going to depend on it.”  - Lawrence

·         Learn how to hotwire a car

·         You need a plan

·         “Every city has a tactical channel.”  - Blake   (Get yourself a ham radio or GMRS radio so you can communicate with your loved ones when the cell towers are down.)

·         Learn to run fast.  Surviving a disaster involves lots of running.

·         Learn CPR and First Aid.  When your loved ones are hurt, you’re going to wish you knew how to help them.

·         Don’t wear flip flops before disaster strikes.  Ha ha  (Both leading ladies are conveniently wearing boots.)

·         Don’t text and drive.

·         Know what the threats are to the city in which you live.  I live in Las Vegas where people were completely shocked when we had a 4.8 earthquake last weekend.  The city sits on SEVERAL fault lines!  If you want to see where the most recent earthquakes hit in the world TODAY, go to  http://earthquaketrack.com/recent      SPOILER ALERT: Hoover Dam is completely destroyed in the movie, which is pretty spectacular to watch, but not something I hope ever happens.  I just drove across that amazing bridge last weekend on my way to visit my son in Arizona!  It’s so high and scary!  It snapped like a toothpick in about 2 seconds in the movie after a 7.1 earthquake.  EEK!  I hope it takes a much bigger earthquake than that to crumble the surrounding area.  Fun fact: Alexandra Daddario pronounces the state of Nevada incorrectly in the movie….it’s not Nevoda people!

·         Know how to commandeer an airplane and boat.

·         Keep a map of your city on you.  Nope, the cell phone navigator probably won’t work.

·         For more great emergency preparedness tips, visit my friend’s preparedness web site at http://michael.coxfam.org/family-home-storage/


Can't get enough of the moving and shaking?  Try some of these earthquake movies:

Percy Jackson and the Olympians creates a teen following

 
The newest teen movie Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters is in theaters nationwide and before I review it, I felt like I had to at least watch the first one.  Better late than never, right?


Directed by Chris Columbus, who loves to make movies where teens are the heroes who save the day, The Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book 1) is the popular book series' first venture onto the big screen.  Like Percy says: "It's like high school without the musical."

 In a nutshell, a teenage boy suddenly discovers that he's the son of the mighty Poseidon and he sets off on a journey to save his mother (a mere mortal) and prevent a terrible battle between the other Greek gods on Mount Olympus. Percy is taken to Camp Half-Blood (sounds like Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince , right?) where he learns fighting skills and shows that he has what it takes.

It's a fun mixture of mythical characters and modern exploration into various dimensions.  It doesn't quite capture the Harry Potter magic that Chris Columbus is now famous for, but your pre-teens will enjoy it, especially if they've read any of the fantasy books by Rick Riordan.  Fans will tell you that the movie franchise is loosely based on the books, but it's close enough to leave them satisfied with the effort.

Logan Lerman plays the gutsy Percy who can stay under water for over 7 minutes in a swimming pool at the beginning of the movie because that's the place where he "can think."   Brandon Jackson (Grover) stars as Percy's best friend/comic-relief/secret guardian/half goat/junior protector who tries to earn his horns for watching over Poseidon's son.  The lovely Alexandra Daddario plays the aloof love interest (Annabeth) and Jake Abel provides the twist in the plot.  (Spoiler alert)

I loved seeing the beautiful Uma Thurman as the snake-covered Medusa and the gorgeous Rosario Dawson as Persephone, the bride of Hades.  Two beauties who are terrific actresses who can also sing very well.  I have a hard time with Pierce Brosnan, however.  I used to think he was so handsome, sophisticated, and charming when he played 007 in several James Bond flicks, but after his singing fiasco in Mamma Mia! The Movie , I just can't look at him the same.  He plays a wise centaur and, luckily, there is no singing.  The special effects in the film are a bit rough, but still pretty fun.

Because I currently live in Las Vegas, I got a kick out of the three teen heroes' visit to Sin City where they were sucked into the glitz and glamor of the Lotus casino.  The sign on the casino says "You Will Never Want To Leave" and the teens realize, after 5 days of partying, that their senses have indeed been dulled and that they lost track of time.  So true of Vegas.  By the way, there really was a Lotus Casino in Las Vegas, but it closed in 1978.  Casinos in Vegas don't have windows, so you really do lose track of time.   The Unofficial Guide to Las Vegas 2013 (Unofficial Guides)

On a spiritual note, it's the father's voice that finally reminds them to get back to their mission.  Can you recognize your Heavenly Father's voice?  Do you know what your mission is?
 
As the teen trio enters the Underworld, they are told it is a pace where "wishes never come true, a scrapheap of human misery, and a place of lost hopes and dreams."  While the Percy Jackson films may not be as complex and artistic as those deserving Oscar wins, they keep the young-at-heart dreaming of adventurous fantasies and noble accomplishments.  Dreaming is good.


Grade = B

Parental warning: No bad language.  Scenes entering Hades are a bit scary for young children, including bodies grabbing at the teen heroes. Hades appears as a frightening and fiery monster twice.