Was a remake of Poltergeist really necessary?

Movie:   Poltergeist

PG-13, 1 hour 33 minutes

Grade:  C

In a Nutshell:    Ok, let me first say that I don't like watching scary movies, but I had requests to review this one....so you better appreciate my sacrifice!

Well, there’s no surprise here if you saw the original Poltergeist from 1982, not to mention Poltergeist II: The Other Side in 1986 and Poltergeist III in 1988.   In fact, it doesn't really add anything to the prior movies. This remake doesn’t exactly shed new light (pun intended) on the old story, but if you’re looking for a fun scream flick, you’ll enjoy the ride enough, complete with creepy clowns, things that jump out, gross skeletons, menacing drills, and scary music.

A more interesting movie might have been a look at the real world deaths of former cast members that have resulted in a belief in the Poltergeist movie “curse”.  http://www.snopes.com/movies/films/poltergeist.asp

Uplifting Theme:

·         Do your due diligence before purchasing real estate.  Ha ha

·         Don’t keep a box full of creepy dolls.

Things I liked:

·         Jared Harris (Carrigan) seems to be in all the creepy movies lately.   He does a good job, as does the rest of the cast: Sam Rockwell (Eric Bowen), Rosemarie DeWitt (Amy Bowen), Kyle Catlett (Griffin Bowen), and adorable Kennedi Clements (Maddie Bowen).

Things I didn’t like:

·         I hate it when little kids swear, imitating their foul-mouthed parents.  NOT cute.

·         Griffin asks: "Why would someone collect a box of clowns?"  Great question.   

·         The kids are constantly bickering with each other.  The teenage daughter, Kendra, (Saxon Sarbino) is so annoying that you don’t care if a poltergeist gets her.

·         What this family needs are some nosy neighbors who check in long before the crazy poltergeists destroy everything.
-      Nothing very original here.  Why the remake then?

Amusing lines:

·         “What if it doesn’t work?” – Amy

“It’s going to work.” – Eric

“This better work!” – Eric to Carrigan

·         “I hope we never see you again.” – Eric

“I don’t know why they always say that.” – Dr. Claire Powell

·         We were young and stupid.” – Carrigan

“Only one of us was stupid.” – Claire

·         “I have special powers, you know.” – Carrigan

“They’re not that special.” – Claire

·         “Is everything ok?” – Claire

“If it were, I wouldn’t be here.” – Carrigan

Interesting lines:

·         “I’m scared.” – Griffin

“Me too.  I feel a little braver though.” - Eric

Tips for Parents:  Young children will definitely be frightened by the scary skeletons and creepy events.  The movie is better suited for teens who want to scream during a sleepover.

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The Boxtrolls movie is artistically outstanding, but stylistically icky

Movie Title:  The BoxTrolls

Grade:  B

In a Nutshell:  From the quirky and creepy creators of Coraline and Paranorman , this family flick has a steampunk feel to it and features the voice talents of Ben Kingsley, Toni Collette, Elle Fanning, and Jared Harris. 

Based on the book Here Be Monsters! (The Ratbridge Chronicles) by Alan Snow, this dark and dirty animation feels more like an unnerving mixture between Charles Dickens and Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street for kids…if that’s your cup of murky tea.  While the animation is impressive, it’s not entirely appropriate for young children.

The clay-mation style is known as stop-motion, but this film also includes CGI, making it an interesting blend of actual objects and pixel magic.

Uplifting theme: 

• “Cheese, hats, boxes…they don’t make you.  You make yourself.” – Eggs
• Stand up and fight for yourself and what’s right.

Things I liked:

• Laika does an amazing job with depth-of-field.  There is so much to see in each screen shot.
• The 3D effect is pretty impressive, especially the fog and smoke.
• Artistically speaking, the animation was outstanding.  Stylistically, it wasn’t my favorite.

Things I didn’t like:

• There were more disgusted “ewwww’s” than charmed “ahhhh’s” from the audience.  Lots of ick moments.
• Some of the Cockney accents were hard to understand, especially in the beginning of the movie.
• The BoxTrolls sound like Gollum in Lord of the Rings.
• I don't see merchandising for this movie going very far.  Who wants to play with a creepy, dirty troll in a box?

Funny lines:

• “Do you think the BoxTrolls understand the duality of good and evil?”  - Mr. Trout
• “If you’re going to eat me, just get on with it.  I’m sure I’m delicious.” – Winnie
• “Be prepared to say bye-bye to your brie, cheerio to your cheddar.”  - Archibald Snatcher
• “We’re the exterminators of justice.  We exterminate justice.”  - Mr. Pickles
• “Curds Way? How do I get there?”  - Eggs

“Milk turns into it.”  -  Winnie   (Get it?  Curds and whey…)

• “The Briehemouth!”  - Lord Portley-Rind
• “A woman like that is like raw, bold, maybe a little stinky.”  - Lord Portley-Rind

Tips for parents:  This is a twisted version of Victorian England that includes some violence, but no profanity. You might need to explain to your kids how leeches were actually used as a medical device long ago and that some people are lactose intolerant.  The BoxTrolls gather discarded items, but they also steal.  The villain is an unhinged cross-dresser and truly evil. There is discussion in the movie about what a good father is and does.  I think young children will be both frightened and bored.

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The Quiet Ones Inspires a Noisy Audience

Movie Title:   The Quiet Ones

PG-13, 1 hour 38 minutes

 

Grade:   C

In a Nutshell:  This is a campy horror film that is inspired by supposed true events.  Led by the talented Jared Harris of Mad Men: Seasons 1-4 and Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows , this creepy movie has all the familiar ingredients: mysterious noises coming from cob-webbed rooms in a dimly-lit house, scary gags that make you jump in your seat, sinister characters that make you laugh nervously, and a plot that unravels if you shine the light on it.

 

The movie title certainly wasn’t referring to the audience I sat with.  The teenagers in the audience yelled “OMG!”, screamed, laughed, and commented loudly on every scene, providing additional entertainment in an otherwise empty theater.  During the scene where an older man and younger girl kiss, one of the girls in the audience yelled “Get out!”  Whenever something unbelievable would happen, another teen in the audience would scream “Shut up!”  ha ha

 

Theme: 

• Who is the REAL crazy one? 
• Talk about manifesting your negative energy!

Things I liked:

 

• Director John Pogue successfully creates an atmosphere that provides an air of ethereal history.
• Nice touch to show artifacts and old photographs at the end of the film.
• It’s a good movie for teens to watch on DVD on a Friday night when they want to laugh and be scared at the same time during a party with their friends. 

Things I didn’t like:

• It’s ironic that a movie entitled The Quiet Ones spends so much time cranking up the volume on screams to get a reaction out of the audience.
• The jiggly camera effects made me more dizzy than scared.
• Everyone in the movie is always crying or sweating. 
• A bit predictable.  Even the twist ending isn’t original.

 

Interesting  lines:

• “You’re scared because you can’t explain what you’ve seen.”  - Professor Joseph Coupland
• “It’s human nature to question and be skeptical.” – Professor Joseph Coupland
• “He saved me from myself.”  - Jane Harper

Tips for parents:  Despite its PG-13 rating, the movie will give young kids nightmares.  There is very little profanity.