Norm of the North is a snore fest

Movie Title:      Norm of the North

Grade:           D

Rating:   PG, 1 hour 26 minutes

In a Nutshell:    This animation from Lionsgate is another tired environmental lecture about how animals are superior and humans are evil.

This is NOT one of those family-friendly films when the parents enjoy it as much as the kids. 

Uplifting theme: 

•  Everyone is given talents.  Talents should be used to make a positive difference.
• “You can make a change.  You can find a new way.” –  Elizabeth (Kate Higgins)
• Just because a product says it’s “green”, doesn’t mean it is environmentally-friendly.
• “A king always fights for his home.” 

Things I liked:

• Voice talents of the characters include Rob Schneider, Heather Graham, Bill Nighy, Gabriel Iglesias, Loretta Devin, and Colm Meaney.  They’re mostly unmemorable, but Ken Jeong’s voice work steals the show.
• The little furry animals are supposed to be lemmings.  They’re almost cute.  Did you know that they really do live in the Arctic?
• Pop music.

Things I didn’t like:

• The animation itself is pretty average, certainly not as good as we're used to seeing from Disney or Pixar.
• We’re told “When confronted by a polar bear, assert your dominance and stand your ground.”  That’s terrible advice.  Polar bears are actually very dangerous and vicious.
• “There are never problems, only messages from the universe.” – Mr. Green  (Ken Jeong)
• Polar bears killing seas = good.   Tourists = bad
• There’s a negative jab at a “cola company”, which is generic enough that Lionsgate can’t get sued by Coke.
• If the target audience is young children, then there are a lot of big words and concepts that little kids won’t understand.   

Lines that are supposed to be funny:

• “I put the soul in the winter solstice.” – Norm
• “And the next thing I know I’m twerking in front of a boat of tourists.” – Norm

“Twerking?! Have some self-respect, Norm!” – Socrates

• “Why don’t you take a picture?  It’ll last longer.” – Norm   
• “Well, it’s not Macbeth, but it’s a job.” – costumed bear (Nick Shakoour)
• “Vera, get my lawyer.  We’re going to copyright that roar and make it a ring tone.” – Mr. Green

 Tips for parents:   

• The worse profanity you’ll hear is “crap”.
• Lemmings pee in a fish aquarium and on potted plants.
• Zzzzz….

Ride Along 2 is a lazy sequel

Movie Title:     Ride Along 2

Grade:  D for Dumb

Rating:  PG-13, 1 hour 42 minutes

In a Nutshell:    If you liked the first one, you’ll laugh again.  If you thought the first Ride Along was lame and annoying, then you’ll definitely want to skip this one.  Produced by Ice Cube, this action flick features lazy mayhem, Kevin Hart’s exaggerated physical comedy, and tired shenanigans.

Uplifting theme: 

•  Family matters.

Things I liked:

• This buddy cop sequel features Ice Cube and Kevin Hart, who undoubtedly have great chemistry together.
• Tika Sumpter is beautiful.
• Lots of fun music.
• The cell phone scene in the store was pretty funny.  You know you’re low on someone’s “favorites” list if the ring tone they select for you is the Apple default.   
• Benjamin Bratt and Olivia Munn join the ensemble.

Things I didn’t like:

• Ken Jeong can always be counted on for nasty laughs.  Did you know he was actually a doctor?  He has a new TV sitcom coming out based on his real life called “Dr. Ken.”
• Lots of rude and bad behavior.
• Kevin Hart is both adorable and annoying.  This is not his best movie.
• Lots of irritating screaming and nonsense.

Funny lines:

• “I don’t compliment no marshmallow.” – James Payton (Ice Cube)
• “Do you ever hear the XXX that flies out of your mouth?” - James

“No.” – Ben Barber (Kevin Hart)

• “Quiet.  The adults are talking.” –Lt. Brooks (Bruce McGill)
• “Look at me.  Don’t look at me.  Look at me.  Don’t look at me…that was a test.” – Ben
• “I’d love a wonton or two.  It’s not racist if I say it.” – A.J. (Ken Jeong)

Tips for parents:   

• Lots of scantily clad women.  Tons.
• Lots of profanity.  Tons.
• Pre-marital relations.
• Lots of shooting and fighting.

Penguins of Madagascar is cute and cuddly enough to make you laugh out loud at least once

Movie Title:  Penguins of Madagascar

PG, 1 hour 32 minutes

Grade:  B

In a Nutshell: The zany, spy penguins from the Madagascar franchise finally got their own feature film, full of high-jinks and frivolity.  No matter what age you are, you’ll laugh at least a few times.  It’s brightly colored, frantic, and fun. Parents’ patience will probably wear thin towards the end, but there are enough clever puns, and jokes to keep you mostly entertained.

This movie has 2 words for teenage girls:  Benedict Cumberbatch.  He voices the studly Agent Classified.  Listen to how he pronounces the word “penguins.”  Kinda quirky and awesome.  Just like he is. Other voice talents include the iconic John Malkovich, Tom McGrath, Andy Richter, and Ken Jeong.

Directed by J.P. Simon and Simon Smith….I wonder if it ever got confusing whenever someone on the Dreamworks animation team yelled “Simon!”

Uplifting theme:

·          “Looks don’t matter.  It’s what you do that counts.  And look at what you did.” - Skipper

·         Never leave a man….um…penguin behind.

Things I liked:

·         The gag rate and fast-moving action sequences make the movie feel like an old Looney Tunes cartoon on Saturday morning.  (Am I showing my age?)

·         Cheezy Dibbles dust!

·         The scenes in Venice were gorgeous animation.

·         The visual details and humor that were included were excellent, such as when they the roll over the black and white lines to break into Fort Knox, and when they were lost at sea and growing facial stubble.

·         They had several funny runs with celebrity names like:

         -          “Kevin, Bake On….we’re still going to need that victory cake!”

         -          “Hally Bury them!”

         -          “Hugh Jack on!”

·         I laughed out loud during the scene when Dave the evil Octopus was trying to figure out how to use the technology to do a live video conference call with the penguins.  I’ve experienced that with my own parents and hate to admit that I've caught my own kids rolling their eyes when they’re trying to teach me how to use my cell phone. 

·         I love word play.  There is a LOT of it in this fun flick like:

                    “Venetian blinded again!”

·         Like all good adventure movies, it ends in amazing New York City.

·         I thought the film crew scenes in Antarctica were hilarious.  They featured a cartoon version and real voice of Werner Herzog who actually filmed a documentary in Antarctica entitled “Encounters at the End of the World.”

Things I didn’t like:

·         I can only take frenzied silliness for so long.

·         It’s not the greatest animation to hit the big screen this year, but cute and cuddly enough for the girls and screwball enough for the guys to enjoy.

·         It would have been fun to see a cameo of some of the other Madagascar characters.  I counted how long the penguins actually spent in Madagascar during this movie: 0 seconds.

Funny lines:

·          "Remember our talk about true, but unhelpful comments?” – Skipper

·         “Canada is secretly training an army of Sasquatch.” – Skipper

·         “Cancel our Improv class!”  - Skipper

·         “How long do we stand here like this?” – Corporal

      “Until we’ve reached maximum coolness.  (Pose)  There it is.” – Skipper

·         “I find reason tedious and boring.  We’ll use force.” – Skipper

·         “Time travel.  You just want to slap a hippie, but all you get is multiple Kowalskis.” – Skipper

·         Entire web sites have been dedicated to all of the funny lines Skipper has ever said in the 3-movie Madagascar franchise.

Tips for Parents:

·         There are quite a few jokes and gags that will fly over the heads of little ones.  There is so much to see and hear, that all ages will get something.  It’s all pretty harmless fun.  Even the bad guy isn’t very scary, so very young children will enjoy this.

·         It’s a kids’ movie, so expect potty jokes, some rude humor, and animated violence with explosions, tazers, and tranquilizer guns.

   If you missed the first Madagascar movies or can't get enough of these covert penguins, check out some of these fun products:

Little Tykes will love Turbo

Turbo is an example of a trailer that didn’t make the movie look as good as it is.  I mean, a movie about a fast garden snail?  Unlike Ryan Reynold’s other movie released this weekend, R.I.P.D., this fun flick is sure to please the whole family.  It has heart and illustrates the feel-good message that all you need is one good friend to believe in you in order to succeed.  No dream is too big and no dreamer is too small.  Sweet.

Voice and acting talent Paul Giamatti plays Chet, Turbo the snail’s best friend and brother, but it’s Tito (Michael Pena) who first believes in Turbo’s dream to race in the Indianapolis 500.  Tito and his brother own a taco shop called “Dos Bros Tacos” when Tito discovers the quick escargot and hopes to create a “tacovolution” that will draw more hungry customers to their little restaurant.

The unmistakable voice of Samuel L. Jackson brings “Whiplash” to life, another fast snail who befriends Turbo and helps him reach his goal.  “Smoove Move” embodies Snoop Dogg’s snail persona, complete with a pair of dice swinging from his slender, snaily neck.

You’ll also hear the voices of other fan favorites such as Michelle Rodriguez (Paz) and Ken Jeong (Kim Ly), who both own shops in the same small strip mall as Dos Bros Tacos.

This is the first project of director and co-writer David Soren, who pleases young audiences with colorful characters, an underdog story, and lots of silliness.  Kids aren’t too hard to please, after all.  Adults will be amused, however, by a few clever lines and gags.  Watch for the funny mean kid on the Big Wheel, the mustache made out of grass, Taco Man and his sidekick “Churro”, “Snail up!”, “Snailed it”, and the label on a hot sauce bottle that says “Product causes death.”

It’s amazing how a good animation team can create such detailed facial expressions on slimy insects, but they succeed.   It’s not worth the extra money to pay to see it in 3D.   The language is clean, although there are a few risqué jokes that should fly over most little one’s head.  “Your trash talk is needlessly complicated” is a funny line geared towards adults, but still evokes a laugh out of kids for reasons they don’t even understand.

Suspend your disbelief and enjoy the fast ride with your kids and a bucket of popcorn.  Not in to insects?  Go see Monsters University instead.

Grade = B