Transformers: Age of LOUD, crashing, exploding metal for 2 1/2 hours

Movie Title:   Transformers: Age of Extinction

Grade:  B

PG-13, 2 hours 37 minutes

In a Nutshell:   Lots and lots of flying, crashing, exploding metal.  I thought it was funny when an old man at the beginning of the movie sells pieces of his old, abandoned theater to Cade (Mark Wahlberg's character who builds things out of old trash), and says “Sequels are a bunch of crap.”   True fans will enjoy another round of twisted steel, but others may not endure this long, loud, 4^th installment of Michael Bay’s Transformers franchise.

Among the new characters added in an attempt to add a fresh take are a Samari who quotes Haiku and a John Goodman voiced Autobot who spits out wisecracks as he chomps on his electronic cigar, one of the few items not used for product placement in the film.  Good and evil Transformers battle for 2 ½ hours in what feels like a Godzilla movie vs. Aliens meets Jurassic Park .

Uplifting theme:  There are several positive messages that run throughout the movie, including overcoming greed, living and fighting with honor, the importance of family, and how you better pick the right aliens as your friends if you want to survive.  Ha ha

Things I liked:

• You get to see lots of close-up transformations which are extremely cool.
• I’m always happy to see Mark Wahlberg, Kelsey Grammer and Stanley Tucci in anything.
• There are a lot of cool aerial views.
• I thought the high-rise buildings in Beijing were interesting.
• Awesome, but short sequence at the beginning with dinosaurs.
• Did you notice the “Got ammo?” bumper sticker on the Autobot truck?

Things I didn’t like:

• Shia LaBeouf is one of the most talented young actors of today, but does not appear in this movie.  Unfortunately, he’s been too busy lately, getting into trouble for being a jerk.  I really hope he doesn’t self-destruct like Lindsay Lohan.
• The movie is so loud with constant explosions that it’s often difficult to hear the wisecracks, which are also constant.
• Director Michael Bay has stated that this film will kick off a second trilogy of Transformers movies.  I’m not so sure that’s a good thing.

Interesting lines:

• Tessa, the bratty and disobedient (and beautiful, of course) teenage daughter, played by Nicola Peltz, says to her dad “No boys.  Graduate first. You do know that no one else has that rule.”  He responds “Rule? Don’t make it sound harsh.  It’s not a rule.  It’s wisdom.” 
• “Contracts, like humans, expire.”  - bad transformer.   Sorry I started losing track of all of the good and bad transformers’ names….
• “You promised me human intelligence…or is there such a thing?”  - bad transformer
• “We’re human beings – we make mistakes.  That’s what we do.  Sometimes out of those mistakes come the most amazing things.”  - Cade Yeager
• In Harold Attinger’s office, a sign on the wall says “Freedom isn’t free.”

Funny lines:

• “Tess, I’m basically you’re uncle.  Su casa es mi casa.  We’re going to lose the casa.”  - Lucas
• “Research lab?  It’s a barn, dude.”  - Lucas
• “I don’t think you can own someone.  That was a like a long time ago…even in Texas.” – Lucas
• “Dad, there’s a missile in the family room.”  - Tessa
• “If he eats you, I get the GTO.”  - Lucas
• “We lost them!  Good job, stranger from the cornfields!”  - Lucas
• “You are so grounded!”  - Cade Yeager
• “I’m not here to get your daughter; you’re here to help me get my girlfriend.”  - Shane
• “That was insane!  It was awesome, but it was insane!” - Shane
• “Romeo and Juliet, huh? You know how those two ended up?”  Cade Yeager

“In love.”   -  Tessa

“Dead.”   - Cade

• Cade asks Shane “You stole mouthwash?”  Shane quips “I like to be fresh when I’m making out with your daughter.”  Cade barks“That’s never going to happen.”

Dumb lines:

• “You don’t have a warrant!”   Cade     “My face is my warrant.”  - Titus
• “I’m glad you don’t suck at everything, dad.”  - Tessa
• “Human beings have asked us to play by their rules.  Well, the rules have just changed.”  - Optimus
• “I’m literally going to kill you.”  - Cade to Shane
• “That’s a bad idea, but I’m all about bad ideas.”  - Hound
• “This one’s for you, A-hole.”  - green Transformer
• Cade yells “Where are you going?”  Green transformer snaps “To lay some hay.”
• “Never is here.”  - bad robot
• “I’m coming for you.”  - Optimus Prime

Tips for parents:   I appreciated the parental aspect of the movie that features a dad trying to raise his daughter in a dangerous world.  He says to his gorgeous daughter with amazing legs “Sweetie, your shorts are shrinking by the second.”  Early in the movie he says “I promise you, one day I’m going to build something that matters.”  He’s an inventor, but what he builds that matters the most in the movie is his relationship with his daughter. This movie is long and loud.  Some profanity, lots of violence, and 1 F-bomb.

In case you missed the first 3 Transformers movies:

Mr. Peabody and Sherman touch hearts and funny bones

Movie Title:   Mr. Peabody & Sherman

PG, 1 hour 32 minutes

Grade:   B+

In a Nutshell:   You may remember these lovable guys from the old Rocky & Bullwinkle & Friends: The Complete Series cartoon from the 1950’s and 60’s.  They finally get the feature animation they deserve.  Back then we didn’t realize that Mr. Peabody would invent tear-away pants and Zumba. 

True to the TV series, there are a lot of silly puns that will make you laugh and moan at the same time. There were potty-humor gags that kids tend to love, such as when a ship flies out of a Sphinx’s rear end, as well as wordplay references to movies that kids won’t recognize, but parents will enjoy, like when King Tut yells Runaway Bride!   Sherman often said “I don’t get it” when the adult jokes would fly over his head.

The WABAC machine (pronounced “Way Back”) is used to transport various characters in the movie to different periods of time and was originally created on the TV show to poke fun at the names of some of the first computers (UNIVAC and ENIAC).  Surprisingly, it is still a term used in some internet applications (Wikipedia) to describe the ability to go back to older content…”Not where, but when.”

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure fans will get a kick out of this animated run through select historical moments.

Uplifting theme: 

• Be proud of who you are and whose you are.   
• It’s a sweet, perhaps overly-sentimental, father-son movie that will leave you grinning as you walk out the movie theater.   
• Every dog should have a boy.

Things I liked:

• I thought it was cute when Mr. Peabody found Sherman as an orphaned baby in a box wearing glasses.
• I got a kick out of hearing funnyman Steven Colbert voice Paul Peterson.  He called Sherman “Dos Shermanos” when he got a little tipsy from Mr. Peabody’s dinner party drinks.
• I can never get enough of Allison Janney, Stanley Tucci, Leslie Mann, and Ty Burrell.  I was tickled to hear Mel Brooks brings Albert Einstein to life.
• The audience laughed with delight during the scene when Mr. Peabody plays a bunch of different audiences.
• A recurring gag occurred every time someone dropped something in Egypt; a servant would race by, pick it up and say something so fast I couldn’t quite tell…“I got it!"
• The audience I sat with instantly fell in love with Agamemnon.  Patrick Warburton always knocks it out of the park with his awesome voice and perfect comedic timing.  I thought his armpits were hilarious.  I thought it was cute when he recruited “Shermanis” to join his Greek fighting team.  One of his many funny lines was “My father is half man, half minotaur, all judgment.”  I thought the Trojan war scene was amusing how they tried to make it look like the movie 300 with slow-motion action sequences.
• Adorable Spartacus scene with Kirk Douglas cameo.

Things I didn’t like:

• The animation design of the hills outside the city of Florence was disappointing.  I loved the detail on the famous Ponte Vechio and the Basilica di Santa Maria del Fiore.  I was in beautiful Florence a few months ago and was reliving my trip through those scenes.  Unfortunately, the ocean water animation was also poorly done.
• It was hard to cheer for Penny Peterson who was such a brat.  I didn’t care if she got left behind in another time or not.
• I was kind of surprised when Mr. Peabody said something about booby traps and Sherman giggled “You said boobie!”

Funny lines:

• “When Sherman says “I love you Mr. Peabody”, his adopted dog father says “I have a deep regard for you, as well, Sherman.”
• “Pictures were taken for insurance purposes.”  - Principal Purdy
• “Wait, what kind of cake?” – a French man in the crowd during the French revolution scene, responding to Marie Antoinette’s famous line “Let them eat cake!”
• “A cantaloupe?  The lowest of the fruits!”  - A French man
• “When it comes to my daughter, nothing is more important than…(answering cell phone suddenly)  Shello?  Sure, I’ll take a survey.”  - Mr. Peterson
• Penny asks Sherman “Do you do everything Mr. Peabody says?”  “Yeah.”  She asks “Do you know what that makes you?”  “An obedient son.”  “No, a dog.”
• “Oy plagues.  Why did I ever move to Egypt?” – A random Jewish man in the crowd
• “You can’t marry him!  His name rhymes with butt!”  - Sherman
• “This is a little home-spun concoction I like to call ‘Einstein on the Beach.’” – Mr. Peabody
• “So, he’s literally a dog.”  (Mr. Peterson)   “I prefer the term “literate” dog.”  (Mr. Peabody)

Things to look for:

• Van Gogh with bandages on his ears
• The little boy in Sherman’s classroom whose feet can’t reach the floor when he’s sitting down at his desk.
• Boxers with hearts on them
• The dog with the cone on its head at the beginning of the movie.
• Try to figure out what the mystery meat is on the cafeteria food trays.
• The picture of cats hanging in Principal Purdy’s office at school.
• Picture of Ghandi next to Sherman’s bed.
• Rubic’s cube (Hint:  look for Einstein).
• “I love New York” t-shirt and underwear.
• Bill Clinton cameo.

Tips for parents:  Some inappropriate jokes, but mostly harmless.  Parents and children watching the movie in the audience I sat with enjoyed the movie equally.  It’s certainly no Frozen magic, worthy of an Oscar, but it’s very energetic and fairly entertaining family fun.  The visits through time should spark some conversations with your kids about history…."not where, but when.”

Hunger Games: Catching Fire now out on DVD!

If you’re a Hunger Games fan, then you’ve probably already seen this, but if you haven’t, it’s now in stores on DVD for rental or purchase!

Movie Title:  The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Grade: A

In a Nutshell:  This movie franchise has all the odds ever in its favor.  The gritty books are best-sellers and the intense films don’t disappoint.  The special effects are great and you really find yourself enveloped in the dark world of these compelling characters.  The games feel familiar from the first movie, but they take on some new twists that engage your sensibilities and heart.  As Haymitch Abernathy states “Last year was child’s play; this year you’re dealing with all experienced killers.” The fans and the smart storyline mature with this second movie in the successful trilogy.

President Snow announces “On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors.”  And then it begins.

Uplifting theme: 

• I liked the speech Peeta gave in District 11: “Our lives aren’t measured in years, but in the lives we touch and touch us around us.”
• “We don’t need to destroy her – just her image.  Sew fear.  It doesn’t work as long as they have hope” counsels Plutarch Heavensbee.  Hope is a very powerful thing.  When you’ve lost everything, hope is everything.  Primrose tells her sister that she notices something different about her world now.  Katniss asks “What can you see?”  Her answer:  “Hope.”  Katniss becomes the mockingjay herself, the image of a new hope to her people.
• The grim violence is physical AND emotional, deepening the layers of imprisonment and drama. 
• There is a weighty theme of cultural and personal revolution that could begin an interesting dinner table conversation in your home.
• Simply surviving is not the end-game, but creating a meaningful life that blesses those around you is.  Primrose Everdeen says to her sister “You saved my life.  You gave me a chance.”  Katniss confirms “Yes, to live.” Primrose corrects “No, to do something.”

Things I liked:

• I loved the FANTASTIC wedding dress-turned mocking jay gown visual effects!
• The cast is terrific: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Elizabeth Banks, Stanley Tucci, Donald Sutherland, and Woody Harrelson.  Philip Seymour Hoffman was a national treasure and will be missed.
• The “lethal lovers” Katniss and Peeta twist their lives together in a new way that may become a new prison of sorts, even if they’re able to pull it off.

Things I didn’t like:

• I thought the yucky blisters caused by the fog were pretty gross.  I definitely felt relief when they were able to wash away the pain in the water
• The film is almost 2 ½ hours long, but ends abruptly.  Dang it!  Thankfully, we won’t have to wait too long to watch the rest of the story.  The third movie installment in the trilogy is expected to release on the big screen November 21, 2014.   Like the Harry Potter franchise, the final part of the story is going to be split into two movies: Mockingjay 1 and 2.  The very last movie will hit theaters November 10, 2015.
• Love triangles are a bit tired.

Interesting lines:

• “That’s how the friend thing works…you have to tell each other deep stuff.”
• President Snow: While you and Peeta are on tour, you need to smile, you need to be grateful, but above all, you need to madly end it all in love. You think you can manage that?
• Katniss Everdeen: Yes.
• President Snow: "Yes" what?
• Katniss Everdeen: I'll convince them.
• President Snow: No. Convince me.
• “Don’t look so cute.  We’ll kill you anyways.”  - Johanna Mason
• “Say good-bye and forget them.  I do my best, thinking of them one by one, releasing them like birds from the protective cages inside me, locking the doors against their return.”  - Katniss Everdeen
• “No wonder I won the Games.  No decent person ever does.” – Katniss Everdeen

Things to look for:

• You only seem them for a few seconds, but I adore Effie’s super cute gloves at the party on the last night of their tour.
• Effie’s outfits in this movie are fantastic.  Look at the details on her butterfly outfit.
• Katniss hangs the model of Seneca Crane in an act of defiance during the judging. 
• Did you know a spile, the tool Katniss uses to get water out of a tree, really works?  It’s used to get sap out of sugar maple trees to produce maple syrup.
You can learn more about Tap My Tree Maple Spile and Hook
• Did you know that Effie’s last name is Trinket?  So appropriate, don’t you think?  I love that her character deepens in this installment in the story.

Tips for parents:

There is some violence (mostly bloodless) and a cold-faced attitude of murder that should begin an honest discussion of humanity in your family. There is some profanity, but the Capitol itself bleeps out two F-bombs.

If you missed the first one and need to catch up, here are some links to the books and movies: