The House is a piece of garbage

Movie Title:  
The House

Grade:  F because it has 3.8 million F-bombs in it (and it's a terrible movie)

Rating: R

In a Nutshell:   Why are so many trashy movies coming out in theaters that glorify extremely bad behavior?  

If you like being assaulted by an F-bomb every 2.7 seconds, watching people throw up and get high, then this raunchy piece of garbage is for you.

Uplifting theme: 

•  Family
•  Crime pays? 
• College is expensive and makes parents go crazy

Things I liked:

• I liked seeing Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler together again.  Besides their SNL background, they were both in Blades of Glory ten years ago. Honestly, Amy Poehler was better than Will Ferrell in this flick. If you see this in theaters, you'll also see Will Ferrell being featured in the upcoming sequel of Daddy's Home.
• Jason Mantzoukas was really good in this.  He and Amy Poehler were both in the zany  Parks and Recreation: The Complete Series TV show together.
• The premise is somewhat interesting, so I was curious what they were going to do with the idea.  I live in Las Vegas, so I'm definitely familiar with the idea that the "house always wins." The movie could have been really interesting.  It wasn't.
• There is mention of Panera Bread.  Man, I love that place! I thought it about during the rest of the movie.

Things I didn’t like:

•  It's vulgar and stupid.   
• You might chuckle a time or two, but it's not very funny.
• The family is totally into watching The Walking Dead: Season 1.  I was a fan for a few seasons, but I'm over it.  It seems they could have picked a newer TV show to be obsessed about.
•  This is director Andrew Jay Cohen's first film.  Hopefully, he learns from his mistakes and chooses better writers next time.

Funny lines:

• “One of us has to be an adult here.  So, you be it.” – Kate Johansen (Amy Poehler)
• “What about Bob?” – Bob  (Nick Kroll)   The Johansens laugh and refer to the movie Bill Murray was in called What About Bob?.  Bob then says, “Am I the only one who doesn’t get Bill Murray?”  Yes, Bob.  Yes, you are.  By the way, you should see What About Bob? instead of this one.  
• “Did you just say whom?” – Scott Johansen  (Yeah, I’m a Grammar Nazi too.)

Tips for parents: 

• TONS of marijuana, cocaine, alcohol, gambling, blood-gushing violence, and vomit. 
• People flip the bird.
• Full frontal nudity of men and women walking down the stairs quickly.
•  This is NOT a movie you could show your family with a filtering service.  You would see about a 5 minute clip after the service wiped all of the garbage out.  This is a true Rated R movie.

MOVIE REVIEW MOM

@trinaboice 

St. Vincent isn't heavenly, but messy good.

Movie Title:   St. Vincent DVD

PG-13

Grade: B-

In a Nutshell:  It never ceases to amaze me at what qualifies for a PG-13 movie these days.  The content in this movie is quite mature and inappropriate for children, even though a little boy named Oliver stars in the movie, played by the talented, young Jaeden Lieberher.

Hilarious Bill Murray plays a crusty old guy who swears, smokes, gambles, drinks, and pays weekly visits to a pregnant prostitute...hardly the father-figure that Oliver needs or one that you want your kids to watch.  Nevertheless, the movie has heart.  Bill Murray’s performance is stellar and is already receiving Oscar buzz.  McCarthy plays the straight role as a hard-working single mom whose frenzied life collides with Bill Murray's.

Uplifting Theme:  

• “A saint is a human being we celebrate for their commitment and dedication to other human beings, for the sacrifices that they make, for their hard work in making the world a better place for those around us and for those who will follow them.”  - Brother Geraghty

• “I do happen to believe that there are saints all around us today.  They may never be considered as such by religion, but they are just as important as the ones in your textbooks.”  -  Brother Geraghty

Things I liked:

• Chris O'Dowd plays a snarky Catholic priest who inspires young minds to look for the good in the world.  He has a believable accent and some of the best lines in the movie.
• The lovely Naomi Watts is fantastic and chose this film because she had been looking for a comedy to "lighten" her career.
• The characters feel real in their messy lives.
• I loved Oliver's sweet innocence combined with his young wisdom.
• Even the rotten kids at school said "Sir."  Why couldn't I ever get my kids to say that?
• True to the disheveled characters, nothing gets wrapped up in a tidy Hollywood bow in the end, but there are some "feel good" moments that will leave you smiling in the end.  
• Saints don't always come with halos.

Things I didn't like:

• I don't have to see a character in bed with a prostitute to understand the story line.
• Vince's wife seemed too classy to be married to such a curmudgeon.  Did his character really change that much when she became ill or did she see the "sainthood" in him too?
• Wait for it to come out on DVD or Redbox.  It's not worth the hefty movie theater price.

Funny lines:

• “It is what it is?  Everyone’s saying that these days.  What it means is “You who are screwed shall remain screwed.”  -  Vince

• “Dumbness does not play well in heaven.”  -  Brother Geraghty

• “Take me God.  Don’t play with me.” – St. Vincent

• “I think I’m Jewish.” - Oliver              OK.  Good to know. – Brother Geraghty (Chris O’Dowd)

• “Your father never taught you to defend yourself?” – St. Vincent      “No Sir.  He’s a pacifist.” - Oliver            Well, this country wasn’t founded by tree huggers, that’s for sure.  You need to defend yourself or you get mowed down.”  - St. Vincent          “I’m small, if you haven’t noticed.” – Oliver         “Yeah, so was Hitler.” – St. Vincent

• “When will you become like man?” - prostitute 

• “I’m a Catholic, which is the best religion of all religions, because we have the most rules and the best clothes.” – priest

• “This food beats hunger.”  - St. Vincent

Tips for parents:  The movie starts with Vince having sex in bed with a pregnant prostitute.  Yeah...not exactly a family-friendly movie.  There is a lot of profanity, including one F-bomb.  Vince takes Oliver to the horse races, a bar, and surrounds him with cigarette smoke and filth of all  kinds.