CHIPS movie is a piece of garbage

Movie Title:  CHiPs

Grade:   F

Rating:  R, 101 minutes

In a Nutshell:  I rarely give a movie an F score, but I thought this movie was a true piece of garbage with very little uplifting value worth noting.  It’s a gutter movie. 

If you want to watch this movie through a filter that cleans up the profanity, violence, and scenes with sexual or other offensive material, this would be a 2 minute clip.

You're better off watching the original TV series.  You can start with CHiPs: The Complete Sixth Season 

Uplifting theme: 

• Friendship, persistence, loyalty

Things I liked:

• Michael Pena and Dax Shepard have good chemistry together, but are so much more talented than this film allows them to display.
• Fans of the original CHiPs TV show will get a kick out of the surprise cameo at the end.
• I liked seeing Kristen Bell and Maya Rudolph, although both of them play very minor roles and have extremely short screen time.  Why would they sign on to be in such a disgusting film?  Oh yeah…money.

Things I didn’t like:

• The two main cops are terrible role models.  One is an egotistical, disrespectful sex addict and the other is a slovenly, reckless opiate addict.
• A LOT of crude humor and offensive material.
• Lots of screaming and arguing.
• I’m so sick of yoga pants.  Women and girls don't seem to see how immodest they are.
• It’s not funny.  It’s offensive in so many ways.

Funny lines:

• “I’m kind of powerless when it comes to yoga pants.” – Frank “Ponch” Poncerello (Michael Pena)    
• “Hot and helpful?  See, it doesn’t have to be both.” – Frank “Ponch” Poncherello

Tips for parents: 

• LOTS of profanity and F-bombs.
• A VERY close-up text picture of a topless woman and another of a fully naked woman.
• Talk of homophobia.
• You see a peek of a naked man in front and other men from behind.  LOTS of crotch shots.
• Addictions of various kinds.
• Lots of violence and destruction.
• Trash talk in Spanish, mostly without subtitles.
• Quick glance of a naked man’s rear having sex.
• Adultery
• It's just disgusting.  Don't let your kids watch it.  If they're interested in cop shows, choose something else.

MOVIE REVIEW MOM

@trinaboice 

Patriot's Day honors Boston's courage and compassion

Movie Title:   Patriot's Day

Grade:  B+

Rating:  R, 130 minutes

In a Nutshell: I love Boston.  I've been there several times and would eagerly go there again tomorrow.  It’s a modern city dripping in history. 

This powerful film offers a respectful look at Boston’s finest who responded to terrorism at the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings.   

“Two people took several days and weeks to plan out hate, but love responded in an instant.” – Interview with Patrick Downes

Uplifting theme: 

• Dedicated to all those who showed courage, compassion, and dedication during this terrible period in Boston’s history.
• Civic pride, teamwork, community
• Love vs. hate
• Good vs. evil
• Boston strong!
• “Always have hope.  Be confident that good always defeats bad.” – Dun Meng

Things I liked:

• The entire cast does a great job providing Boston accents and tributes to people we enjoy getting to know.
• Mark Wahlberg gives a dynamic performance as Sgt. Tommy Saunders.
• It’s always a pleasure to see J.K. Simmons, John Goodman, and Kevin Bacon.  I adore them all.
• You get to see real footage of the aftermath.
• Great aerial shots of Boston.
• Fans of Supergirl: Season 1 [Blu-ray], Melissa Benoist, will be happy to see her, although not happy to see her play the wife of a deluded terrorist.
• I loved the real photos and information at the end. The video footage of Patrick Downes running the race after his surgery really touched me.

Things I didn’t like:

•  Does anyone in Boston know how to speak a single sentence without using the F-bomb? 

Interesting lines:

• “Do not Mirandize.”   -  It's interesting and frightening that a decision could be made to deny an American citizen of his individual liberties.
• “Not what you were expecting, huh Comish? – lady cop

“It never is.” – Commisioner Ed Davis (John Goodman)

• “For a Muslim woman, marriage is a lilting dance of duality: strength and submission, beautiful, selfless, rapturous love of two masters, the carnal and the divine.” – Katherine Russell

Funny lines:

• “Give ‘em hell, brother!” – a guy who throw a sledge hammer out his front door to help the cops.
• ‘I gotta F***n quit smoking.” – Sgt. Jeffrey Pugliese (J.K. Simmons)
• “I’ll tell ya that boat ain’t gonna float.” – cop after a bunch of other cops shot a ton of bullet holes in it. 

Tips for parents: 

• There is a lot of blood, gore, and violence.
• You see several people do drugs.
• A gazillion F-bombs and other profanity.
• It's important to point out to your kids that Dzhokhar's friends were arrested for seeing evidence, but not turning it over to the police and obstructing the bombing investigation.

UPDATE as of 2/1/2017
A Boston Marathon bombing survivor plans to marry the fireman who rescued her, several media outlets report. “In the hospital, my mom tried to set me up with him,” Roseann Sdoiasaid. “She was like, ‘Oh, did you see that firefighter? He’s so cute.’ And I was like, ‘Mom, I just got blown up.’ ” Sdoia and her new fiancé, Mike Materia, will participate in the annual Empire State Building Marathon to help raise money for the Challenged Athletes Foundation. Materia comforted Sdoia on the ride to Massachusetts General Hospital in a police vehicle on the day of the bombing. “I asked him if I was going to die. And he told me that I was going to be OK, that I only had a flesh wound,” she told reporters. “He’s seen me on my worst day.” The couple had their first date in June 2013. He proposed last month.

@trinaboice 

Better as a drive-thru than a Ride Along

Movie Title:  Ride Along

PG-13, 1 hour 40 minutes

Grade: C

In a Nutshell:  Ride Along should really just be a drive-thru, maybe later, after it’s out on DVD or in the dollar bin at Wal-Mart.  One F-bomb short of an R-rated movie, this buddy cop clichéd flick is filled with profanity, racial slurs and police brutality jokes.  It relies on the physical humor that Kevin Hart provides as he screams in a panic during the entire film.  The plot is canned, as are the jokes.  It’s 100 minutes of exaggerated silliness, so if that’s what you’re in the mood for don’t be disappointed with the thin plot and stereotyped characters.   

Uplifting theme:  Santiago (played by the talented John Leguizamo) says to James (played by straight-faced Ice Cube) “It must be tough being an island, huh?  Nobody to watch your back?” Some of the biggest themes of the movie are that we all need each other and to believe in your dreams.  Oh yeah, and playing video games gives you handy skills because, as Omar says "Everybody wants to be on the winning side."

Things I liked:  Kevin Hart is adorable and it’s inspiring to see his character never give up on his dream.

Things I didn’t like: I thought it was ridiculous that while Ben (Kevin Hart) was out trying to survive various antics, his girlfriend (Tika Sumpter) sat around the house scantily clad, anxiously waiting for him to return so they could…

Funny lines:

* “I’m not about to buy that girl with a goat.”   - Ben

* “How tall is Omar now?” – Ben

* The audience howled with laughter when Ben smacks James (several times)
* "Respect is best served cold."  - Ben  Omar corrects him: "No, it's revenge that's best served cold."

Things to look for:  Sophisticated humor…Nope, you won’t find it here, folks.

Tips for parents: This is not exactly a family-friendly movie and not appropriate for little ones…or older ones.  Lots and lots of profanity, including a scene where a young kid has a terrible potty-mouth.  There is a strip club scene and lots of sexual jokes, as well as disrespect for the popo…oh, I mean the police.