The Fate of the Furious is fast fun for true fans

Movie Title:  The Fate of the Furious

Grade:  B

Rating:  PG-13, 136 minutes

In a Nutshell:  It’s fast.  It’s furious.  The franchise is back.  

I was kind of over the whole The Fast and the Furious saga until…Charlize Theron.  I’ve always thought she was so gorgeous ever since I first saw her in Mighty Joe Young. I was curious how she was going to turn Dom away from his family in this movie's plot.   

Everything about this movie is high octane and ridiculously over-the-top, just the way fans of this franchise like it.  If you’re a fan, you’ll get a kick out of this new addition.  No, it's not going to win any Oscar's, but it's pretty good fun.

Uplifting theme: 

• “You make a deal, you gotta live up to it.” – Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel)
• Family
• Obligation, accountability, respect

Things I liked:

• The chemistry of this “family” is undeniable.  This installment features Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, Jordana Brewster, Kurt Russell, Elsa Pataky, Nathalie Emmanuel, and Scott Eastwood.
• The cast's quick one-liners and jabs at each other are entertaining as always.
• You get to take a little trip to Havana, Cuba in the beginning of the movie.
• So funny watching The Rock do the fierce Hakka dance with a bunch of little soccer girls.
• Helen Mirren just made the franchise better.  Rumor has it that she lobbied for a role in the movie because she loves racing so much.  I love her in everything she does.
• It’s fun to watch Scott Eastwood’s career unfold.  You know he’s the legendary Clint Eastwood’s son, right? 
• Tough bald guy banter.  Ha ha
• The set pieces are as gigantic as Dwayne Johnson’s biceps.  
• The stunts are OFF THE CHAIN!
• SPOILER: I never really thought about how self-driving cars could be hacked into to create havoc.  Interesting, right?  There’s an awesomely fun and destructive scene with a bunch of them on New York City streets.
• Some of the action sequences are soooooo impressively long.
• I think it's funny that Kurt Russell's character name is "Mr. Nobody."  His assistant, played by Scott Eastwood, is called "Little Nobody."
• Jason Statham has some absolutely great moments with The Rock, Helen Mirren, and a little baby.  

Things I didn’t like:

• Lots of butt cheeks and scantily clad women.
• Some of the characters talk about being free, with no obligations to anyone, as if that’s the ultimate form of happiness.  Thankfully, the ultimate theme of the movie is that it’s family that gives life meaning.
• The plot is extremely predictable.  There is nothing super surprising about how the story is going to play out, but the ride is pretty doggone fun.
• So many things are just so unrealistic that if you require that in a movie, you'll hate every minute of this.

Funny lines:

• “I will beat you like a Cherokee drum.” – Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson whose arms are ridiculously massive while he holds them up during this line.)
• “We’re gonna need a bigger truck.” – Hobbs
• “Your team is about to go up against the one thing they can’t handle.” – Cipher (Charlize Theron)

“What’s that?” – Dom 

“You.” –  Cipher

• “Manis and pedis later on at the mall.” – Hobbs
• “It’s neon orange.  The U.S. space station could see it coming.” – Little Nobody (Scott Eastwood)
• “Ouch.” – Cipher
• “What’s it gonna be, Rook?  Are you gonna close your eyes on this one too?  Pray that the Apocalypse doesn’t come knocking on your mama’s front door? Or are you gonna saddle up and be a man and save the entire Gxdxxmn world?” – Hobbs
• “Why are you always yelling?” – Hobbs
• “Time to get my young Selfie levels up!” – Roman Pearce (Tyrese Gibson)

“You realize this is classified, right?” – Little Nobody

“Not today!” -Roman

Interesting lines:

• “See, that’s the funny thing about fate: it’s cunning.  It can bring you beautiful things and it can also bring you moments like this…” –  Cipher  
• “Have you heard of choice theory, Dom?  There’s a bunch of axioms, but only two you really need to concern yourself with: 1) The only person’s behavior we can control is our own, and 2) The only thing we can truly give another person is information…” – Cipher 

Tips for parents: 

• Lots of profanity, including an F-bomb, surprisingly by the lovely Helen Mirren.
• There are some subtitles that you’ll have to read to kids who can’t read fast.
• As expected in a movie designed for men, there are a lot of scantily clad women.
• TONS of explosions and MASSIVE amounts of destruction.
• Tons of violence in many forms, including hand-to-hand combat, shootings, stabbings, and beatings. 

Did you miss some of the previous movies? You can start here: The Fast and the Furious
Fast & Furious (2009)
Fast & Furious 6
2 Fast 2 Furious
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
Fast Five (Extended Version) Furious 7

@trinaboice 

Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk is a trudge

Movie Title:  Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk

Grade:  C

Rating: R, 110 minutes

In a Nutshell: As an Army mom, I admit I watched this flag-waiving drama through different eyes.  Based on the best-selling book, Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk: A Novel, this was the first time High Frame Rate technology was used in a movie at such a high speed.  

It has an interesting effect that is supposed to be immersive in a new way.  Unfortunately, most people will end up watching this underwhelming movie on a TV or tiny computer screen after it comes out on DVD, missing the impressive work in each frame.

Uplifting theme: 

• “Has anyone looked in the eyes of the dead?” – poetry at funeral
• “It’s not something I’m real proud of, but I did what I had to do.” – Billy Lynn
• "The karma of action…the way of the warrior." - Shroom
• “Sometimes I wonder if we really deserve what you guys do for us.” – Faison (Makenzie Leigh)
• “We're a nation of children, Billy.  We go somewhere else to grow up, sometimes to die.” – Shroom (Vin Diesel)
• Loyalty, bravery, patriotism, war, freedom, politics.

Things I liked:

• The funeral at the beginning is heart-breaking when the ceremony includes calling out for the deceased soldier.
• Shout-out to Matt Damon, Hillary Swank, and Destiny’s Child.  Celebrities who were actually in the movie are Vin Diesel, Chris Tucker, Kristen Stewart, Steve Martin. 
• Newcomer Joe Alwyn has incredibly expressive eyes that allow you to see the conflict within his character.
• Ben Platt is so likable.  He has only played small roles in movies so far, but I’d like to see him in a bigger role someday.
• Two-time Oscar winning Director Ang Lee broke new ground cinematically because of his technique.  (I loved his work in Life of Pi.)  I also liked how he tried to film it as if we were in the middle of the action, rather than watching the action.
• The film addresses PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)  You might be interested in learning more about combat stress recovery programs.  
• I loved how Shroom always said “I love you” to his men.
•  This movie isn't really a war movie, but rather, a soldier movie.

  

Things I didn’t like:

• All of the guys talk at the same time, so it’s often hard to hear what everyone is saying.
• The film tells you how to feel.
• The acting isn’t particularly good.
• I realize the soldiers are just young kids.  They are often extremely badly behaved, even at their press events.  Doesn’t the military teach some etiquette to soldiers before they go on a media tour like this?  It's embarrassing.
• There is some ignorant talk of gays in the military.
• On the one hand, the movie seemed like a satire.  On the other hand, it felt like it was too saccharine.
• I wanted more of a backstory so that I would care about any of these soldiers.
• The script is rather dull. 

Interesting lines:

• “It doesn’t have to be about God or country.  Just find something bigger than yourself.” – Shroom (Vin Diesel)
• ‘I’ve kind of gotten used to telling people what they want to hear.” – Billy Lynn
• “It’s so weird, being honored for the worst day of your life.” – Billy Lynn
• “Sometimes nothing is better than something.” – Billy Lynn
• “Take us some place safe.  Take us back to the war.” – Sykes (Barney Harris)

Funny lines:

• “72 virgins in heaven?  Why 72?” – random girl who talked to Billy Lynn at a football game.
• “I can appreciate trash talk.  It’s not the best I’ve heard, but it’s pretty good.” – Steven Martin
• “Yeah, yeah.  Let’s go get a middle school named after us!” – Dime  (Garrett Hedlund)

Tips for parents: 

• Lots and lots of profanity.
• A lot of inappropriate sexual conversations and a fairly graphic sex scene.
• There is a scene were some guys smoke marijuana.
• War violence, including a bloody hand-to-hand combat scene.

@trinaboice 

The Last Witch Hunter doesn't cast a spell on audiences

Movie:    The Last Witch Hunter

Rating:   PG-13, 1 hour 45 minutes

Grade:   C

In a Nutshell:    Timed perfectly for Halloween, this creepy action flick features Vin Diesel kicking evil witch butt.    Unfortunately, the film doesn’t cast a good spell on audiences and is getting horrible reviews from critics.   The plot is thin and the CGI is thick.

Uplifting Theme:

·         “There are shades of evil everywhere.” – Kaulder      (Luckily, good conquers evil.)

·         “I used to think the universe ran in circles, repeating itself, always predictable.  Now, I don’t know what happens next.” - Kaulder

“You know what we humans call that?   Living.” – Dolan 36th

Things I liked:

·         Vin Diesel.  So, yeah.  The movie isn’t great, but if you’re a Vin Diesel fan, you’ll still enjoy it.

·         Supposedly, the witch hunter character he plays in the movie is based on a Dungeons & Dragons character he played for years.   

·         It’s always good to see Michael Caine in anything, although he’s mostly dead during the majority of the movie.  He plays “Dolan 36^th”, who is a type of personal assistant to a rich playboy with fighting powers…sounds like his role in Batman Begins , eh?

·         Elijah Wood has the squeaky clean look of the priest he plays, but enough odd edge to make you wonder if he really is a good priest.

·         The beautiful French actress Julie Engelbrecht plays the Queen Witch, who is ugly and scary, but not very imaginative.  Her mother is the German actress Constanze Engelbrecht, who starred with Julie in her acting debut Adieu mon ami .

·         Fans of Game of Thrones: Season 4 [Blu-ray] will be happy to see the charming Rose Leslie play a “dream walker”.  I thought she had a kind of Kristen Stewart vibe.

·         The bar for witches was pretty cool with the floaty things and shimmering wisps.  Vin Diesel has special ways of identifying witches, but it’s not very hard: they all have tattoos, dress like Goths, and look like catwalk models. 

·         The visual design of the of the movie is pretty good, albeit mostly CGI.

Things I didn’t like:

·         LOTS of CGI effects, some of them pretty hokey.

·         It ends with some teasers to set you up for a sequel.  Do we want a sequel to this?

·         The plot is pretty predictable and is full of formulaic moments like slow-motion fighting, and swords driving home a death blow after spinning around a few times for dramatic flair.  Some things that happen are nonsensical.

·         Most of the scenes are dark and murky, just like the movie poster (pictured above).  This movie will get lost on a computer monitor.

·         Well, now the mystery of where all the bees have gone is uncovered.  They were saved up and used for this film.

·         Cliché creepy old doll.  Works every time though.

·         When the witches cast spells, it sounds like someone is playing a old LP record backwards like we used to do when we were kids to make a scary ghost sound.
-      There is a small amount of humor, but more would have made the film playful.  As it is, the movie takes itself pretty seriously.

Funny lines:  

·         “You want to quit?” – Kaulder

“No, I want a raise.” – Dolan 37^th

·         “Please don’t think less of me.  I’ll confess it later.” – Dolan 37^th after he punches a bad guy.

·         “There’s more to life than the dulcet tones of stewardesses.” – Dolan 36^th

What do you know about stewardesses? – Kaulder

“I wasn’t born a priest.” – Dolan 36^th

·         “You look like a terrible band from the 80’s.” – Grosette (Michael Halsey)

Interesting lines that are meant to sound cool and profound:

·         “The world is changing.” – Dolan 37^th

“Only on the surface.” – Kaulder

·         “You know, paper is the past.” – Kaulder

Words to know:

Necromancy = a method of divination through alleged communication with the dead

Tips for Parents:

·         Some of the scenes are pretty scary, especially the opening scene.  SPOILER ALERT:  Thankfully, there is only one really bad, scary witch and you don’t see her again until the end of the movie.

·         Some profanity.  Lots of fight scenes.

·         Lots of bugs crawling around.

·         Creepy skeletons floating around in the place where witches are banished.


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Furious 7 is playfully preposterous and a sweet tribute to Paul Walker

Movie:    Furious 7 

PG-13, 2 hours 20 minutes

Grade:  A for amazing stunts and action, C for cheese

In a Nutshell:  Paul Walker’s character says “Just when you didn’t think it could get any better, huh?” as if he were really talking about this film.   If you love this action franchise, you’ll love this new addition to the ongoing saga.  Like the others before it, this one has LOTS of action and testosterone, not to mention cheesy lines that you’ll be laughing at and quoting with your friends for a long time.  

You’ll think you’re watching one of The Terminator movies, because villains and heroes refuse to die, despite unbelievable crashes and over-the-top fights.  Don’t get me wrong, the body count is high and some of the deaths show pretty yucky endings.  

The absolute best/funniest moment of the movie is when Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson bulges his massive muscles and bursts out of an arm cast, saying “Daddy’s gotta go to work.”   Haha  

Uplifting Theme:

·         Sadly and ironically, Paul Walker was tragically killed in a real life car accident about midway through the filming of this movie in 2014.  The characters in this film, as well as Paul Walker, lived their lives doing what they loved.  He will be missed.  The song See You Again (feat. Charlie Puth) plays in the movie and is a touching tribute to Paul. Vin Diesel even named his new baby daughter Pauline after his dear friend.

·         Dominic (Vin Diesel) affirms “Everyone’s always looking for the thrill, but what’s real is family.” Family is who you surround your life and love with.

Things I liked:

·         It’s always fun to see Kurt Russell in anything.  I was in love with him when I was a little girl.  I want a pair of his cool night-vision glasses.

·         Epic fight scenes between Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham.

·         I love looking at Jordana Brewster.  She is such a beautiful porcelain doll.

·         Michelle Rodriguez looked beautiful in that red dress.  Note to girls: make sure there is a big slit in your gown so you can kick butt in case you get into a serious cat fight at your fancy event.

·          

Things I didn’t like:

·         Most of the stunts are so ridiculously awesome that they couldn’t possibly ever be done in real life.  I’d like to see Myth Busters try them.

·         If you haven’t seen any of the Fast & Furious (2009) movies before, you won’t appreciate the backstories that bring all of these characters together again, but you’ll still enjoy the fun ride.

·         Vin Diesel poses and stares off in contemplation a LOT.  There’s also a lot of slow-motion walking scenes so you can linger on the stars' awesomeness a bit longer.

Cheesy lines:

·         “They say an open road helps you think.” – Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel)

·         “You better start talking before I break that finger six different ways and stick it where the sun doesn’t shine.” – Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson)

·         “He doesn’t miss the cars.  He doesn’t miss the girls.  He misses the bullets.” –Mia talking about her husband

·         “When you find the guy who killed Han, what are you going to do?” –

“Words haven’t been invented yet.” – Dominic

·         “Did you bring the calvalry?” – Letty (Michelle Rodriguez)

“Woman, I AM the cavalry!” – Luke (The Rock)

Funny lines:

·         “Don’t worry.  You’ll get use to this in no time.” – Preschool mom

“Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of .” – Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker)

·         “You risk your life to save the world and they give you Jello and a bad ‘70’s show.” – Dominic

·         “I’m just a guy.  I’m just a nobody.” – Petty

“That’s a pretty big entrance for a nobody.” – Dominic

·         “Your file’s not only detailed, it’s extremely entertaining.” - Petty

Tips for Parents:

·         What do guys like?  According to this movie...fast cars and scantily clad girls.  There are a lot of both, including close-ups of thongs, buns, and inappropriate jokes about women’s bodies.

·         I sat next to two different sets of teenage boys.  They all clapped, laughed and squealed with delight.  That’s entertainment.

Guardians of the Galaxy is the Star Wars sequel you wanted to see

Movie Title:  Guardians of the Galaxy

Grade:  A

PG-13, 2 hours 1 minute

In a Nutshell:  FAN-Friggin-Tastic!  This movie is everything you want a summer popcorn blockbuster to be. 

By now, everyone has heard of Captain America: The First Avenger , Iron Man , and Thor , but not as many people are familiar with the characters in Guardians of the Galaxy , except maybe my cousin who owns a comic book store in Vegas.  I’m “hooked on a feeling”…..that you’ll be a fan now. 

The fun flick is FILLED with action, comedy, special effects, warmth, witty dialogue, and unexpected surprises that will tickle your insides that aren’t filled with popcorn.  There is so much to see in every scene that you’ll immediately want to get back in line at the theater and see it again. 

The audience I sat with cheered, laughed, clapped and remained seated until after the credits rolled….and was rewarded with one last surprise.  (SPOILER ALERT: Brush up on your Howard the Duck trivia.)  Fantastic fun for all ages.

Uplifting themes:  Never give up, believe in yourself, hold fast to good friends, stand up to evil.  

Things I liked:

• Rocket and Groot had the potential to become the Jar-Jar Binks death of this movie, but in fact, they enrich it and even steal the show in many scenes.
• Although the Guardians comic series came out in 1969, this movie feels fresh and modern.  It also feels like the Star Wars sequel movie lovers have been hoping for, complete with awesome air battle scenes, zany creatures, cool toys, and lovable misfits.
• Paying extra for 3D is worth it. 
• Chris Pratt was the perfect leading man, complimented by the acting and voice talents of Zoe Saldana (who goes from blue in the awesome Avatar movie to green in this film), David Bautista, Bradley Cooper, Benicio Del Toro, Glenn Close, and John C. Reilly.   
• Vin Diesel only has one line (“I am Groot”), but provides enough variety in the telling that communication is enhanced.  In fact, Rocket and Groot have a cute “Lassie” (“Timmy fell down the well!”) relationship, enabling Rocket to translate and carry on entire hilarious conversations with that single phrase.  Groot is full of delightful surprises and expressive facial movements.  He was the highlight in the movie for me, personally.  Groot’s got skills!  My husband is built like Groot..all legs, broad but thin, sculpted jaw line, interesting angular head.  Don't tell him I said that.
• Be sure to catch the Stan Lee cameo in the beginning when Peter Quill goes to Zandor.
• 1970’s and 80’s music plays a fun and meaningful part in the movie.  I had one of those Walkman’s like Peter Quill’s, complete with orange foam headphones.  No doubt, the movie soundtrack and character merchandising will be popular items on Ebay and Amazon.
• You’ll see tons of cool gadgets, space ships, and special effects.
• You actually care about the characters and their heart-tugging back stories.
• I liked that the stone-faced soldier bad guys were visually minimalistic, suggesting they were robotic followers without depth.  Am I reading too much into them?
• I loved Drax the Destroyer’s body art.  David Bautista joins the ranks of former WWE champion-turned-successful actor, along with The Rock, who kicked off his own summer blockbuster last weekend in Hercules.  (You can click here to read my movie review of Hercules.)
• The cool space pods that connect to form a glimmering protective net give new meaning to “star”ship.

Things I didn’t like:

• Some of the outfits worn by The Collector’s peeps were just silly.
• I thought Ronan the Accuser’s make-up was messy and not as cool as it could be. 

Funny lines:

• “We’re just like Kevin Bacon.” – Gamora
• “What are you doing?”  - Ronan the Accuser

“I’m distracting you, you turd blossom!”  - Peter Quill/Star-Lord

• “You’ve got the best eyebrows in the business.”  - Peter Quill/Star-Lord
• “I come from a planet of outlaws: Billie the Kid, Bonnie & Clyde, John Stamos…” – Peter Quill/Star-Lord
• “No one’s blowing up moons.”  - Drax the Destroyer

“You suck the joy out of everything.”  - Rocket

• “Dance-off, bro.  Me and you.”  - Peter Quill/Star-Lord
• “I can’t believe I’m taking orders from a hamster.” – Denarian Saal
• “I wasn’t listening.  I was thinking about something else.” – Drax the Destroyer
• “I found something inside myself, incredibly heroic…not to brag.” – Peter Quill/Star-Lord
• “You are a disappointment, Sister.  Out of all our siblings, I hated you least.” – Nebula
• “You’re making me beat up grass!” - Rocket

Tips for parents:   There is some profanity, but it flies past so quickly that you might miss it.  There is a lot of violence (mostly bloodless), and a huge body-count.  The characters are admittedly flawed…in fact, are wanted criminals, as opposed to Marvel’s heroic and squeaky-clean Captain America.  Gamers in your family will get their daily fix.  There is some sexual innuendo that should mostly, hopefully, go over the heads of little ones (as well as some adults), such as a funny mention of a black light and a Jackson Pollock painting…

Let the fun merchandising begin!