Blumhouse's Truth or Dare gets my grade of D for dumb

Movie Title:   Blumhouse's Truth or Dare

Grade:   D for dumb

Rating: PG-13

In a Nutshell:  Brought to the Big Screen by the same producers as the award winning Get Out   and Happy Death Day this horror teen flick scored a terrible 15% on Rotten Tomatoes for being lame.  

It's so bad that I can see teens renting it on Red Box so they can laugh at it in their mom’s basement while snacking on Cheetos on a Friday night.

                               

Tips for parents: 

• Peer pressure
• Spring Break “debauchery”
• Where are the parents in this movie?
• Where are the bras in this movie?
• Some profanity and crude language.
• A teen sets a woman on fire
• Underage drinking and drunk teens
• Talk of sex and lots of kissing
• Gay teens kissing
• People die in brutal ways.
• Creepy voices and faces
• Lots of risky behavior
• Guns
• Talk of suicide 

Uplifting theme: 

• Choice and accountability
• Sacrifice for others
• Don’t get drunk and make stupid choices 

                                             

Things I liked:

• Shout-out for Habitat 4 Humanity
• My kids make that same creepy face that the “truth or dare” demon made people make, so it actually made me laugh. I'm sure it's supposed to be scary, but everyone just laughs. 

Things I didn’t like:

• Most of the characters are tools, so it’s hard to care very much about them.  You pretty much WANT them to die.
• Super clichéd dialogue
• Super cliched scenes
• Plot holes
• Snapchat opening sequence, which was kind of interesting and lame at the same time.  I hate Snapchat. 
• When one of the friends would die, the other friends never even stopped to mourn, but would just go about their day.
• The last few scenes were just stupid.
• The best friends constantly turn on each other.
• The back story between Olivia and Markie was just lame.
• Stupid jump scares.
• Halfway through the movie, the rules of Truth or Dare change. Lame.
• If you want to see a fun horror movie with a PG-13 rating and still in theaters now, go see A QUIET PLACE.

Funny lines:

• “Your dad didn’t know you were gay?  Your ring tone is Beyonce.” – Lucas Moreno (Tyler Posey)

“Everyone loves Beyonce.” – Brad Chang (Hayden Szeto)

                               

                                          @trinaboice

Love Simon is a coming out and coming-of-age dramedy

Movie Title:
  Love, Simon

Grade:   B

Rating: PG-13, 109 minutes

In a Nutshell:  Nick Robinson stars as Simon Spier in this coming-of-age dramedy that shows how difficult it is for a teenager to “come out” and reveal who he really is to his friends and family.  

Add a mystery man and you get an unconventional love story that critics are calling fresh and romantic.

Based on the popular book, the movie adaptation deals with a serious issue in a light-hearted way.  I have a lot of LGBT friends and have tried hard to assure them that they are loved and accepted by me.  Everyone deserves respect and kindness. 

Those who struggle with the same decisions that Simon does in this movie are praising the film for addressing a complicated social issue in a delicate way and giving it the Big Screen attention it deserves. 

Tips for parents: 

• Within minutes of the movie starting, you hear crude language and carefree conversations about sex.
• Profanity, crude language, and one F-bomb
• A black transvestite and a gay boy get bullied.
• Simon’s high school puts on a musical performance of Cabaret.  I remember when I was in high school and our theater director wanted to do that play.  The parents and school district leaders told us to pick another play because they thought it was completely inappropriate and too mature for kids.   What do YOU think?
• Teens laugh at parents who don’t know what the Grindr app is.  (It’s a hook-up app for gay men.)
• It’s a “talking movie,” so young kids might get bored.
• The entire subject matter is mature, so parents need to decide at what age they want their children to be to see this.  It certainly starts a conversation.

Uplifting theme: 

• Tolerance
• “No matter what, announcing who you are to the world is pretty terrifying, because what if the world doesn't like you?” – Simon   - The truth is that we ALL face this same scary challenge, whether we're straight or gay.
• Being brave enough to be who you really are.
• Everyone is battling with their own secrets.  Be gentle with yourself and with others.
• Tolerance goes both ways.We're all on our own journey in life, so it's not helpful to judge or criticize others whose path or values are different from ours. (Some people will simply not want to watch or accept this movie and that's OK too.)             

                                    

Things I liked:

• SPOILER:  Besides a few thug-head jocks in the school, everyone was really accepting of Simon.  I thought Simon’s mom was especially supportive and loving.  There will always be haters, but we live in a more accepting world in many ways.  I absolutely adored the recent movie The Greatest Showman, which also celebrated our differences and tried to show that everyone deserves to be loved.
• One aspect of the movie that I haven’t heard anyone else talk about is how friends and family actually WANT their loved one to come out to them.  One of Simon’s friends feels this way.  I have known that a dear friend of mine is gay for many years, yet he has still not officially come out to me.  He has told others, but not me.  It actually hurts my feelings, because I absolutely adore him and accept him 100% for who he is. 
• Teens will like the intrigue of trying to figure out who the mystery man/love interest is who chats with Simon online.
• Nick Robinson does a really great job.  He doesn't try to make us feel sorry for Simon, but only to relate to him. Simon explains, "I'm just like you."
• There were some home décor things in Simon’s house that I really liked, like the chalkboard walls around his bed, and the cozy kitchen benches.
• I loved Leah’s Papillion dog that she walked down the street, because I have one too!
• I thought it was adorable that Nora (played by Talitha Bateman) was into cooking and that her family showed patience and love while she tried to develop her talent and figure out who she wanted to be too.  Simon wasn’t the only one changing.  A good family is made up of imperfect people who show support while each one tries to stretch and grow.  The family in this movie did exactly that.
• Good soundtrack.

Things I didn’t like:

• The antagonist is goofy and easily dismissed, despite the fact that he could have caused serious trauma or even a suicide.
• Simon is very self-absorbed, like most teenagers, focusing solely on how his life will change when his big secret is revealed.  He never thinks about what his family and friends might go through when he tells them.  
• Lots of jean jackets.  Ha ha
• The teens drink a LOT of coffee.
• I wish there were more focus on the romance and less on the sex.
• Mr. Worth (ironic name, right?) was too much of a cartoon character.

Funny lines:

• “Stop with the Selfies.  You’re not all that.” – Mr. Worth (Tony Hale)
• “I have something more important to say than the ‘National Anthem.’  No offense America.” =  Martin (Logan Miller)

Interesting lines:

• “I’m just like you.” – Simon

                                        

 @trinaboice

Lady Bird is a funny, truthful coming-of-age ,story

Movie Title:      Lady Bird

Grade:   A

Rating: R, 1 hour 34 minutes

In a Nutshell:  No, this movie has nothing to do with Lady Bird Johnson, the wife of former U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson.  This coming-of-age story is a charming movie with a lot of humor and creative storytelling.  

Writer and director Greta Gerwig captures soul extremely well.  It's her first solo directorial debut. She named the main character, Christine, after her own mother and Christine’s mother is a nurse, just like Greta’s real mother. The movie is not really a young love movie, but a love story between Christine and her mother.

Tips for parents: 

• Talk of premarital relations.  There is a scene of Christine losing her virginity.
• Spoken and written profanity, including F-bombs.
• “Your mom’s hard on you.” – Danny O’Neill (Lucas Hedges)

“Yeah, she loves me a lot.” – Lady Bird

* Point out to your daughter that Kyle just honks the horn and expects Christine to go out to his car.  Super tacky.

* Pornography

* Christine makes some really bad choices, lies, and attempts to steal something from a store.

Uplifting theme: 

• Life
• Love
• Family
• Choices and accountability
• Friendship, loyalty

Things I liked:

• I’m such a fan of Saoirse Ronan.  She’s fantastic in everything she does.  She’s originally from Ireland, but her American accent in this movie is really great.  Like always, her Golden Globe nominations is well deserved.
• Laurie Metcalf is always a delight.  The scenes with her and Saoirse together are really great. She also deserves her Golden Globe nomination!
• The dialogue feels real, but funnier than real life.
• I thought it was cute when they were crying while listening to a John Steinbeck audio book in the car during their road trip in the beginning of the movie. Every parent will be able to relate to the growing pains of their relationship.
• Some of the scene transitions were awesome and extremely clever. 
• All of the acting is really great.  The entire cast is excellent.
• You really feel invested in the characters and grow with them during their character arcs.
• Stephen Sondheim wrote the songs in the musical that the students perform in the movie.
• For a short time, Lady Bird broke the record held by Toy Story 2 on Rotten Tomatoes for the best-reviewed movie of all time.
• It feels fresh.  Thank you.  Even though I love superhero movies, it's nice to have something else at the movie theater!

                               

Things I didn’t like:

• I don't have to see people have sex in a movie to know that they did.  I'd much rather NOT.  People complain that society is falling apart, but they don't seem to see the connection between that and all the garbage that's in movies.  We don't have to see everything. Come on, people.  What do you think....do movies reflect society or influence it or both? 

Interesting lines:

• “I wish I could live through something.” – Christine

“Aren’t you?” – Marion McPherson (Laurie Metcalf)

• “Just because something looks ugly doesn’t mean it’s morally wrong.” – Lady Bird

Funny lines:

• “Lady Bird!” – Christine
• “ Is that your given name?” – Father Leviatch (Stephen Henderson)

“Yeah.” – Christine

“Why is it in quotes?” – Father Leviatch

“I gave it to myself.  It was given to me by me.” - Christine

• “Just go to city college, then to jail, then back to city college...”    Marion        (What parent hasn’t had this conversation with their teenager?  Ha ha)
• “What I’d really like is to be on Math Olympiad.” – Lady Bird
• “But, math isn’t something you’re terribly strong in.” – Sister Sarah Joan (Lois Smith)
• “That we know of yet.” – Christine
• “Hey, I’m like Keith Richards.  I’m just happy to be anywhere.” – Larry McPherson (Tracy Letts)
• “I want to read it in bed.” – Lady Bird, when she wanted her mom to buy a magazine.

“That’s something that rich people do.  We’re not rich people.” – Marion

• “Six inches for the Holy Spirit!” – Sister Sarah Joan at the dance, telling Christine and Danny to spread farther apart.
• "You're giving me an eating disorder!" - Christine to her mom.  Then she sighs, "I wish I could get an eating disorder."

                                          @trinaboice 

Nerve has more suspense than brains

Movie Title:   Nerve

  

Grade:  B

Rating:  PG-13, 96 minutes

In a Nutshell:  “Nerve is a 24 hour game like truth or dare minus the truth.”   

This suspenseful movie is made for teens who are obsessed with themselves and think everyone else is too.  It appeals to adrenaline junkies who want to be “instafamous” and offers an interesting commentary about social media.

Teenagers will probably think this movie is super cool.  Be forewarned:  Do NOT try these dares at home…or any other place.

Themes: 

• “Are you a watcher or player?” - Nerve game
• “Life is passing you by.  You need to take a few risks every once in a while.” – Sydney (Emily Meade)
• Everyone has an inner desire to be famous.
• “It’s easy to be brave in a crowd.” – Vee
• Even though we can be anonymous online, there are still very real consequences to our virtual actions.

Things I liked:

• This is surprisingly entertaining.  The action is non-stop.
• Pretty good music soundtrack, although it usually tells you how to feel in almost every scene.
• I like the size of Sydney’s cell phone.  Ha ha
• It’s definitely suspenseful.
• Emma Roberts and Dave Franco have great chemistry together.
• New York City and Staten Island vistas at every turn.
• Hey, this isn’t a remake! Finally, a summer movie that isn't a remake of something else! There is, however, another movie made years ago with Michael Douglas called “The Game”, which has a similar story but without all of the digital effects and social media aspects.
• Almost every scene has neon in it.  The movie feels young and energetic.
• Some movie critics say there isn’t really any resolution in the end, but I actually thought it worked.  It was fast, but then so was the entire movie.

Things I didn’t like:

• The idea is that the camera sees everything, yet there is no one actually there filming at every angle.  Don’t think very hard, because most of the things in this movie don’t make sense.
• This is what happens when you have kids with more time than brains.
• The loss of a loved one and the inability to move on is a clichéd background story.  The movie doesn't spend very much time on character development, but does insert a brief backstory that fuels the motivation for each character.
• NOT a spoiler alert: I don’t appreciate that they make the cops out to be the bad guys. 
• I hate it when people are afraid to report crimes being committed because then they're labeled a snitch.  Isn't the crime a LOT worse than being a "tattle-tale"?  One of the rules in the Nerve game says "Snitches = stitches.”  I wish people felt more safe reporting crimes in general.

Interesting lines:

• “I don’t want space.  I want you.” – Nancy
• “I’m sorry.  When you said ‘live my life’ did you mean live my life in your shadow?” – Vee
• “Vee, do you really trust that guy?  He’s the one who got you into this mess.” – Sydney

“I’M the one who got me into this mess.” – Vee

Funny lines:

• “You guys are the dumbest smart kids I’ve ever met.” – Nancy (Juliette Lewis)
• “Crazy first date, huh?” – Ian (Dave Franco)

“Is that what that was?” – Vee (Emma Roberts

Tips for parents:   

• There is a LOT of VERY risky teenage behavior.
• Direct democracy = mob mentality.  Talk to your kids about why America's Founding Fathers did all they could to prevent our government from being a direct democracy and why they chose to create a Republic instead. 
• Do your kids know about the “Dark Web”?  They probably know more about it than you do.
• Farting.  More farting.
• Profanity.
• You see people text crude comments on their cell phones.
• You see 2 teens in their underwear.
• You see another 2 teens making out on a bed at a party without all of their clothes on.

The 5th Wave mixes elements from every dystopian teen movie you've seen before

Movie Title:  THE 5th WAVE

  5th Wave, The

Grade:  C

Rating:  PG-13, 1 hour 52 minutes

In a Nutshell:    I think this is the 5^th wave of teen dystopian movies.  Unfortunately, it’s nothing you haven’t seen already with elements from Red Dawn (I loved the first one), Independence Day (loved the first one), Divergent (liked the first one), and even The Walking Dead (horrified and then addicted to the first one). 

Those drones aren’t the ones from Amazon.  It’s another teens vs. grownups movie….um…teens vs. aliens movie.  Of course, the teens are smarter than both grownups and aliens. 

Cassie asks rhetorically, “How do you rid the earth of humans?  First, you rid the humans of their humanity.”  Or…you make really dumb movies so they want to kill themselves.

Uplifting theme: 

• “Love’s not a trick.  It’s real.” – Evan Walker (Alex Roe-Brown)
• “The others see our hope as a weakness, as a delusion, but they’re wrong.  It’s our hope that lets us survive, that lets us bend, but remain unbroken.  It’s our hope that will let us win some day.  It’s our hope that makes us human.” – Cassie (Chloe Grace Moretz)

Things I liked:

•  I’ve always liked Chloe Grace Moretz, who plays Cassie, the heroine in the story.  She has quite a long film history, considering how young she is.
• Some of the transitions were cool.
• I always like a good twist.
• I liked the version of “I was born in a thunderstorm” song at the end.

Things I didn’t like:

• Some of the special effects look pretty lame.
• Some of the acting was really terrible.  Black eye-linered Maika Monroe’s character, Ringer, was so clichéd and stiff that it was laughable.  So was Maria Bello’s character, Sergeant Reznik.
• Cookie-cutter romance scene where someone accidentally stumbles upon a good-looking person bathing in a lake. 
• Zackary Arthur sure is adorable, but needs time to develop his acting skills.
• There are a lot of really dark scenes that make it hard to see what’s happening.
• SPOILER:  Unfortunately, the movie ends with a wink to a sequel.  Uggg.  Please don’t let there be a 6^th wave.
• The trailer shows scenes that don’t actually play in the movie.  Odd.  Did I blink and miss them?
• Did you see the poster for the movie “Big Fish”?   Was it a random ad placement or is there some reason behind it?  Does anyone know?
• An awkward love triangle made me laugh out loud.  Are the directors hoping to spur on a fan debate like we saw with the Twilight series?  I mean, why would you choose Ben Parish when Evan Walker is an option?   (wink)
• Dumb character names like Dumbo, Fintstone, Poundcake.
• The first act was actually pretty compelling, but then it turned into every other dystopian YA movie you've ever seen.  What a shame.

Funny lines:

• “Are we still alive?” – Teacup

“I think so.” – Zombie

• “You want me to shoot you?” – Ringer

“Don’t pretend you haven’t thought about it.” - Zombie

• “I was named after Ben & Jerry’s.  Truth!  Nothing made him happier than ice cream.”  - Ben Parish/Zombie (Nick Robinson)

Interesting lines:

• “No more everything we took for granted.” – Cassie
• “I thought we were safe here.” - Cassie

“Pumpkin, there’s nothing safe anymore.” – Oliver Sullivan (Ron Livingston)

• “We’re not fighting the 5^th wave.  We ARE the 5^th wave.” – Zombie

Tips for parents:   

• Some profanity, shooting, and blood.
• Lots of guns and shooting.  LOTS.

The DUFF makes you glad you're not a teen anymore

Movie:  The DUFF

PG-13, 1 hour 41 minutes

Grade: B

In a Nutshell:  Teenagers have always lived in the world of bullying and underdog struggles for greatness, but this movie takes a modern tech, funny look at YOLO cyber terrorists.  Based on the book by Kody Keplinger, it gives hope for teens currently in high school, struggling to survive it.  If you’ve already graduated, it makes you feel grateful you don’t have to do it again.

By the way, DUFF stands for "Designated Ugly Fat Friend."

Uplifting Theme:

·         “Believe. Retrieve. Achieve. Just don’t conceive.”  - Dottie

·         “When you become proactive, your problems become subtractive.” – Dottie

·         “When I went to school in the 90’s, we didn’t have emoticons.  We had actual facial expressions.” – teacher

·         Self-acceptance
-   "Only you can define yourself." - Bianca
-   "Honey, you're weird.  So?  Own it!  Be the best weirdo you can be." - Dottie

Things I liked:

·         I love Allison Janney in anything.  

·         Mae Whitman does a good job as a snarky underdog with teenage angst.
-    Clever rolling credits at the end.

Things I didn’t like:

·         I’m a big The Walking Dead: Season 1 fan, but how can Bianca possibly get a good night’s rest with those gross zombie posters on her bedroom wall?

·         The movie is a bit shallow and predictable, like some of the teens in it.
-     It's pretty sad how teenagers can be so cruel to each other.  

Funny lines:

·         “Irregardless.”  - Wesley

“Not a word.” - Bianca

(True.  I’m such a Grammar Nazi)

·         “We’re sizing up your strengths and weaknesses.” – Wesley

“And?” – Bianca

“You’re horrible.  I hope you like cats.” – Wesley

·         “J-date?  You’re not Jewish.” – Bianca

“I know.  That just makes me more exotic on the site.” – Dottie
- "I just thought of something funny and now no one's going to know."  - teen in hall after cell phones were taken away from the students.
- "You're racist against jocks.  You're jockcist." - Wesley

Terrible advice from teens:

·         “What happens in high school stays with us forever.  Most people don’t think so, but most people are losers.” – snobby girl

·         “No one’s making out if they’re 3 feet apart.” – Wesley
-    Pick-up line:  "I could tell from across the room we might be into each other.  Now that I'm here, I know.  your move."  - Wesley

·          

Tips for Parents:

·         A LOT of sex jokes, discussion about porn, and sexual acting out

·         A LOT of profanity. 

·         Teenage partying
-     The only F-bomb dropped in the movie comes out of the mouth of Bianca's MOM.
-     Two male teachers kiss during the rolling credits at the end.

If you like any of these below, then you're going to like the movie The DUFF: (Designated Ugly Fat Friend) :

   

Project Almanac features "found footage" of time travel

Movie:  Project Almanac

PG-13, 2 hours

Grade: C

In a Nutshell:   The movie uses “found footage” as its film style, which can be slightly annoying.   The camera work is so shaky that it’s more irritating than clever.  Its dizzying effect reminds me of the movie Cloverfield .

The story features a high school senior who gets accepted into M.I.T. and discovers a time travel machine in his father’s basement.   Pre-Teens will get a kick out of the flick, especially if they have never seen Back to the Future or Chronicle , which do it better.  You might wish time travel were real so you could get your money back for your high-priced theater ticket, but the movie is perfect to play at a sleepover when kids are only half-watching it.

Uplifting Theme:

·         If you could travel back in time, what would you do with that power?
*    During a concert, attendees can write with chalk on big boards to answer the question: "Before the world ends..."   What would YOU write?

·          

Things I liked:

·         When I was in college, I dated a guy who attended MIT.  It was fascinating to watch the games he and his genius frat brothers played in their spare time.

·         I thought it was funny that the characters mentioned the movies Timecop , The Terminator ,  Looper , and the entire Star Wars: The Complete Saga (Episodes I-VI) [Blu-ray] movies while discussing time travel.
The cast is young, energetic, and fairly charismatic.

Things I didn’t like:

·         Everyone talks on top of everyone, which often makes it difficult to hear what they’re saying.

·         The CGI is decent, but not the best I’ve ever seen.

·         The science is a bit shaky, just like the camera work.

Funny lines:

·        “I didn’t have time to study.  I’ve been building a time-machine.” – David Raskin (Jonny Weston)

·         Full disclosure, guys.  There’s a slight chance that oxygen and nitrogen naturally found in the air could catalize." - David

“What does that mean?” – Quinn Goldger (Sam Lerner)

“We might explode.” – David

·         “You guys, we invented friggen time travel.  We should sell this thing to Richard Branson for like a zillion dollars.” - Adam Le (Allen Evangelista)

·         “It’s like a second chance machine.” – Adam

·         “I’m going to hire Kim Kardashian to have my baby.” – Quinn

·          

Tips for Parents:

·         Some teenage trash talk, profanity, and pre-marital sex.

·         Lots of teenager girls in skimpy outfits with some sexual innuendo.