A Bad Moms Christmas is just bad

Movie Title:  
A Bad Moms Christmas [Blu-ray]

Grade: F

Rating: R, 1 hour 44 minutes of torture

In a Nutshell:  It’s bad. There are moms.  And it’s Christmas.

I’m a mom, but CLEARLY I’m not the target audience for this trashy attempt at a comedy.

“Christmas is, by far, the most stressful time of year for moms,” explains Mila Kunis’ character.  Yep.  While that’s very true, that’s no excuse for the horrible behavior these irresponsible, obnoxious, rude moms engage in.  Yes, extreme absurdity has long been a formula for comedy, but 80% of the jokes in this sequel are super raunchy, and the other 10% are simply not funny.

There’s no talk about the true meaning of Christmas.  None of the women in this film seem to even know anything about Christ or what kind of behavior He expects from His followers.

 

Uplifting theme: 

• Mother/Daughter relationships
• Family is most important.

Things I liked:

• Kenny G! 
• Christine Baranski is such a critical, evil mother.  She’s great in all of her movies and even sings a little in this one.
• Surprise cameo

Things I didn’t like:

• The writing is terrible. None of the characters are capable of uttering a sentence without some kind of profanity in it.
• Lots of fighting.  Why is that funny?
• Kristen Bell is so talented.  Why would she ever want to be in such an awful movie?  Oh yeah….money.
• Kathryn Hahn’s character is so foul.  Her role was the stand-out in the first Bad Moms movie, so they really went over-the-top with her in this one.
• Everyone is so critical of everyone else.
• I hate listening to kids scream and cry in movies.
• Lots of slow-motion musical montages.
• These moms sure have a lot of spare time to hang out with each other and get drunk a lot.
• Instead of the “feel good” song at the end, a dirty Santa does a strip tease in front of the entire family.
• Mila Kunis manages to push out a tear in what is supposed to be the big emotional scene of the movie, but the dialogue was uninspired and droll.

Interesting Lines:

• “It’s like a giant stress ball from Christmas to New Years.” – Amy (Mila Kunis)
• “Trust me.   Some day she will thank me in an inspirational speech in some large, public venue.” – Amy's mother (Christine Baranski)   I laughed out loud at that line, because I think every mother secretly has the same wish. 

Tips for parents: 

• About 45,362 F-bombs.  Even an adorable little girl uses it. Other profanity and extremely crude language. 
• LOTS and LOTS of talk of sex, as well as imitating sex with clothes on.
• Moms smoke marijuana.
• Women kissing women.
• The moms commit various crimes.
• A bunch of Santa Clauses strip on a stage.
• Nude man on a waxing table (private parts hidden). 

MOVIE REVIEW MOM

@trinaboice 

Veronica Mars fans celebrate KickStarter success

Movie Title:   Veronica Mars

PG-13, 1 hour 48 minutes

Grade:  B+

In a Nutshell:   

Who says you can’t go home? Thanks to Kickstarter, fans of the Veronica Mars TV show finally get to watch a new, extended “episode” of their favorite fast-talking teen-detective, all grown up. The first couple of minutes of the movie sum up the entire Veronica Mars series so newbies can try to keep up.  It even shows screenshots from the original show that ended 7 years ago.  Fans are LOVING the movie.

Snarky Veronica (the talented Kristen Bell who no one knew could sing so beautifully until Frozen came out) is soon to graduate from Stanford law school and begin a “grown up lawyering job”, creating a new life after leaving Neptune, California.  Veronica’s ex-boyfriend, Logan (Jason Dohring), is now an officer and a gentleman, but in a heap of trouble, drawing Neptune’s “very own Angela Lansbury” back to her home town to help him solve a crime.  Upon seeing him in uniform, Veronica tells him “You should only wear this.  Ever.”  Later he sees her dressed in her old high school attire and says the same to her.

Fans will love this movie.  Those being introduced to the characters for the first time will catch on quickly and enjoy the “who dunnit.”

Uplifting theme:   

• Keep a taser in your purse.  (wink)
• Sometimes we leave to find ourselves, only to realize we were in the right place all along.

Things I liked:

• Kudos to Kristen Bell for being featured in two movies in only a few months.
• Tina Majorino’s new grown-up do looks good on her.
• I wish I could spit out clever one-liners as fast as everyone in the movie.

Things I didn’t like:

• That’s pretty convenient that the murder happens around Veronica’s 10 year high school reunion so we can see the old gang again.  About attending the event, Veronica moaned “I circled that date in my calendar ten years ago and vowed to skip it.”  Interestingly enough, everyone wore black at my ten year reunion too.  I think the whole evolution of high school reunions is fascinating.  I missed my 5 year reunion and heard that everyone just got drunk and trashed the hotel.  At my 10 year reunion, some of the social lines began to blur and everyone was trying to prove to everyone else that they were successful.  At my 20^th reunion, everyone talked with everyone and began really opening up, sharing their failures and lessons learned in life.  At my 25^th reunion, it was a big love-fest and celebration of life with everyone hugging and kissing a lot.  I hate to admit I’m getting this old, but at my last reunion (30 years), everyone got drunk and trashed the hotel again.  Ha ha
• I knew for certain that I was missing out on some inside fan jokes since I had only seen a few episodes of the original TV series on UPN years ago.
• Who dates a guy named Piz?

Things to look for:

• Logan’s beach house ON the beach rocks.
• Movie reference to The Accused in the bar scene on Karaoke night.
• Perez Hilton web site
• The Jean Genie clip with James Franco.  James Franco is the new Kevin Bacon; we’re all only 6 people away from him.
• It was fun to see Eden Sher taking a break from her role as Sue Heck, the geeky teenager with braces on the TV sitcom The Middle.  In Veronica Mars, she plays James Franco’s assistant
• Keep watching after the credit rolls for more footage of James Franco trying to put on jeans…but wait, there’s even more at the very end.

Funny lines:

• “New me?  People say I’m a marshmallow.” – Veronica
• When being stopped by the local police, Veronica’s dad explains: “It’s the Neptune way…protecting and serving the highest bidder.”
• “Wow.  Two beers?  That’s how long it takes for you to get surely?”  - Veronica talking to black friend
• “Stay out of the brownies, unless you want to go on a long, strange trip.” – Dick  The attorney says “A little free advice: murder suspect should avoid proximity to narcotics.”   Dick says “Medicine Man, I got my card…chronic depression.  You wouldn’t think, huh?  Mmmm…I can feel my self worth coming back right now.”
• The attorney says “Facts are important.  Yes, but lucky for us, they’re not the end-all, be all.”  Classic attorney, right?
• “What do you expect?  They’re Canadians.” – Logan
• “It’s a one-time deal.  A farewell tour, if you will.  Then again, did you ever hear the one about the junkie who was satisfied with just one more taste of the good stuff?  Neither have I.” – Veronica
• “What’s the largest capacity memory stick we own?” asks Veronica.  Her dad quips “Aw, you wrote that on my first Father’s Day card.
• “Deputy Sacks, kudos for rocking the stash til it came back in style” snarks Veronica to a 70’s looking cop in Neptune.”
• “I really don’t think you should trust her.  She seems kind of skeezy.” – Andrea Estella
• “As it turns out, I am too legit to quit.”  - Veronica
• “I appreciate you keeping it PG-13 for me.” – Logan
• “Come back to me.”  “Always.”  - (No spoiler alert)  Fans will appreciate this scene in a deeper way than newbies.

Tips for parents:  Talk & clip of a sex tape, profanity, 1 F-bomb, murder, shootings, inappropriate sex talk.