Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates is raunchy and disgusting

Movie Title:    Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

  

Grade:  D- for disgusting

Rating:  R, 98 minutes of trash.   THIS MOVIE IS DEFINITELY R!

In a Nutshell:  Supposedly based on a true story, this vulgar comedy is always offensive and occasionally funny. 

Sam Richardson’s character explains the other characters well when he tells them, “You’re all self-absorbed, barely functioning, co-dependent weirdo’s.”  Yeah, pretty much.  They’re so moronic that they almost seem mentally retarded.   Not exactly my idea of good comedy.  Raunchy and disgusting.

Theme: 

• “I think reason we always get ourselves into such xxxx is because we’re always telling each other we’re awesome when we’re not being awesome.” – Alice
• “I think occasionally we should think about how we make other people feel.” - Alice

Things I liked:

• The cast is young, hip and really hot right now: Zac Efron, Anna Kendrick, Adam DeVine, and Aubrey Plaza.
• You get to see some fun things to do in Hawaii.  For example, you can actually drive ATV’s through the north part of Hawaii where they filmed portions of the movie Jurassic Park.

Things I didn’t like:

• This is a very crude movie with very little redeeming value.
• Zac Efron and Anna Kendrick deserve much better material than this.  Why would they choose to make such a trashy movie like this?
• What’s going on with Anna Kendrick’s color-changing wig?
• Alice and Tatiana are total skanks.
• It’s so over the top that it’s just dumb. 
• If this is how American young adults behave, then our country is truly in trouble.
• This is what happens when people have more money than brains.
• The trailer pretty much shows all of the funny parts.
• Adam DeVine and Anna Kendrick have a surprisingly bad musical number at the end.
• Super crude outtakes at the end.

Funny lines:

• “We’re not party ruiners; we’re party creators.” – Dave Strangle
• “We don’t rile each other up!!!” – Dave

“We never get riled!!!” – Mike Strangle

• “Tatiana, your underwear needs more underwear.” – Alice
• “Look at that personality from behind.” – Mike
• “The key to teaching children is repetition.  You’d be surprised how stupid they are.” – Tatiana
• “You look like Burn Victim Barbie.” – Mike
• “You are not a loser.  Dude, you introduced me to the Ninja Turtles.” - Dave

Tips for parents:   

•  A million F-bombs and other profanity.
• Girls wearing very few clothes, sometimes none at all.
• There is some risky, disrespectful, reckless behavior that will make parents cringe.
• There is a naked massage scene and sauna scene that are extremely inappropriate and graphic.
• There is a lesbian who keeps hitting on one of the girls.
• You see full frontal female nudity, as well as another woman’s bare breast.
• There MANY sexual jokes and conversations.
• There is a lot of binge alcohol drinking.
• Two girls take the drug Ecstasy and go crazy for several hours.
• This movie is pure trash. 

Critics are saying good-bye to Aloha

Movie:    Aloha

PG-13, 1 hour 45 minutes

Grade:  C

In a Nutshell:   The cast is a delight to watch: Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Rachel McAdams, John Krasinski, Alec Baldwin and Bill Murray.  Unfortunately, this RomCom is just too messy.   Most of the characters will frustrate you, as well as the pacing and transitions.  It’s pretty predictable, but yeah, I’m a sucker…the last scene made me tear up a little anyway.

Uplifting Theme:

·         In the beginning of the movie, a kid who is a Hawaiian myth buff (played by Jaeden Lieberher)  announces the theme by asking Colonel “Fingers”, “Are you aware of the so-called ‘Arrival Myth’?  The calendars all say that this week is the return of the playful Hawaiian god “Lono” and he will wreak havoc in the sky with the fire goddess Pele.”

·         “Nothing’s sacred.  It’s all for sale.” – Brian Gilcrest (Bradley Cooper)

·         Bill Murray’s character explains “The future isn’t just something that happens.  It’s a brutal force with a great sense of humor that’ll steam-roll you if you’re not watching.”

·         Islander purity and folktale vs. big business

Things I liked:

·         The movie starts with the sounds and images of old Hawaii, including cultural and military history.  Throughout the movie you get to hear lots of great Hawaiian music and feel the laid-back attitude of the islanders.

·         Emma Stone’s character describes Bradley Cooper’s character by saying “you look into his eyes and it’s like miles of blue.”  I’m pretty sure a lot of other women would agree.

·         Who doesn’t like Alec Baldwin as a fast-talking general?  I first loved him in a military uniform in The Hunt for Red October

·         The unspoken “conversations” between Brian and Woody weres hilarious and awesome.

·         Watching Emma Stone dance with Bill Murray was both funny and disturbing.  She said “I danced with the devil and I liked it.”

Things I didn’t like:

·         It’s pretty insensitive and inappropriate for a spouse to invite an ex over for dinner, don’t you think?  It’s got to be one of the most awkward positions you can put your spouse in, right?  Rachel McAdams’ character seemed too selfish to me by putting her unfinished, romantic past before the needs and happiness of her marriage and family. Yeah, yeah…there’s that “thing”…NO Spoiler alert.

·         Emma Stone’s character is a little too intense and the performance uneven.

·         It might surprise you to know this mediocre movie was written and directed by Cameron Crowe, who brought us box office hits like Jerry Maguire and Almost Famous

Funny lines:

·         “A double espresso.” – Brian

“Good morning Sir!  I’m so jacked for today!”  - Allison Ng

“Make that a triple.” – Brian

·         “Why is dad in places where the war is supposed to be over?” - Grace

“Oh, I don’t know, Sweetie.  That’s why your mom takes long walks.” – Tracy

·         “You’re a workaholic who creates works to avoid real work.” – Tracy

“Well, I’m still working on that.” – Brian

·         “I don’t hook-up; I get deployed.” – Allison Ng

·         “I’d just rather be alone.  Mostly it’s with guys like me.  I just call them ‘alone- togethers.’” – Allison Ng

·         “Happy holidays Bottom-Feeder.” – General Dixon

Interesting lines:

·         I will tell you this for sure.  In its many forms , I have found that nothing beats fun.” – Brian

“Maybe, purpose.”  - Allison Ng

·         “If we can’t look up and see purity or promise, we are finished.” – Allison Ng

Tips for Parents:

·         Young children will be bored with all of the romantic drama.  Teenage girls will get lost in Bradley Cooper’s eyes and the love triangle.

·         There is very little profanity

·         Pre-marital sex,.  You see people kissing and then later, they're in bed.

Other movies by Cameron Crowe:

Big Eyes gets my big applause

Big Eyes

PG-13, 1 hour 46 minutes

Grade:  A-

In a Nutshell:   Big Eyes is an EYE OPENING biopic about the pop art of Margaret Keane, as well as a social commentary of the male dominance of the 50’s and 60’s. 

Christopher Waltz plays the charismatic Walter Keane so well that you can’t tell if he’s simply a deluded and hopeful salesman or a manipulative monster. Amy Adams uses her innocent charm to portray the talented, subdued artist Margaret Keane.

I don’t normally like director Tim Burton’s dark style, but this film is more conventional, while still including his somewhat magical, warped flair, similar in taste to his earlier film Big Fish .

Uplifting Theme:

·         Honesty, integrity, talent, self-assurance, self-expression

Things I liked:

·         I’ve always liked Amy Adams.  She is fantastic in this.  I love the picture at the end of the movie with her and the real Margaret Keane, who is still alive!

·         It was fun seeing North Beach in San Francisco in the 60’s.

·         As a non-fiction author of 21 books, I completed related to the artists’ struggle to get work “out there” and have people appreciate it.

·         Krysten Ritter was perfectly cast as Margaret’s big-eyed best friend, DeeAnn

·         Margaret’s evolving hairdo’s reminded me of my own mother’s during that time period.

·         I thought Lana Del Rey’s theme song was perfect for the tone of the film.  “With your big eyes and your big lies.”

Things I didn’t like:

·         Margaret is portrayed as being forced into the fraud, but she definitely agreed to allow it to happen.  Yes, Margaret was conflicted, but the sting of dishonesty seemed to be somewhat mellowed with money.   Funny how that works.

·         It’s interesting how Walter was criticized for not having the real talent, but his marketing abilities were extraordinary, especially for the time.  He brought art to the masses at an affordable price and was a genius at merchandising.

Funny lines:

·         “I make things up for a living.  I’m a reporter.”  - Dick Nolan (played by Danny Huston)

·          “Expresso?  What’s that?  Is that like Reefer?”  - Margaret

·         “Walter Keane was not a subtle man.  Subtle doesn’t sell.” – Dick Nolan

·         “Quiet.  I’ll have you whacked. If you tell anyone, I’ll have you taken out.  I know people.  Remember Ben Ducci’s cousin, the liquor wholesaler?” – Walter

·         “Life imitating art…a crying Keane.” - Walter

Interesting lines:

·         “So, what’s that with the crazy, big eyes?” - Walter

“Well, I believe that you can see things in the eyes.  Eyes are the window to the soul.  Eyes are how I express my emotions.” –  Margaret

·         “When you look at me like that, I could fall hard.” – Walter

·         “Jane, don’t bother Mr. Keane.  You know creativity comes from within.” – Margaret

·         ‘You’re right!  It’s paradise!  Only God could create these colors!” – Margaret on her honeymoon in Hawaii

·         “I think people buy art because it touches them.” – Margaret

“Yeah, you are living in Fairy land.  People don’t get to discover anything.  They buy art because it’s in the right place at the right time.” – Walter

·         “It’s like a mirage….From a distance, you look like a painter, but up close there’s just not much there.” – Margaret

·         “The more you lie, the smaller you seem.” - Margaret

Tips for Parents:

·         Some profanity, including 1 F-Bomb.

·         There isn’t a lot of action, so some children will get bored.

Margaret and Walter lie to their daughter to protect the ruse.

 To learn more about their fascinating story, check these out: