San Andreas rocks the box office

Movie:    San Andreas [HD]

PG-13, 1 hour 54 minutes

Grade:  Special effects = A, Plot = C,  Dialogue = C

In a Nutshell:   There are a lot of moving rocks in this movie, but the best one is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson who is so big and strong that he could probably pull California’s tectonic plates together single-handedly.  Seriously, the guy is gigantic and just doggone fun to watch.  You get to see him rip a door right off of a car, as well as a bunch of other life-saving stunts. 

His box office draw is also huge: this film took in $53.2 million dollars opening weekend, completely crushing the competition.

Pay a little extra to see this one in 3D.  The CGI team was incredible.  I remember when the 1974 Earthquake movie came to a new theater near my house when I was a little girl.  The theater boasted that you could feel the shaking.  I could and was immediately addicted to disaster movies.  If you want that same experience, upgrade to IMAX.  If you’d rather save money, have your buddy sit next to you and bump into you every 3 minutes while you watch this silly popcorn flick.

Uplifting Theme:

·         Be prepared!   Paul Giamatti plays a professor at Cal Tech who is researching earthquakes.  He tells his class “It’s not a matter of IF, but WHEN.”  Later he laments “No one listens to us until the ground shakes.”  Sadly, that’s true.  You need to start preparing now.  It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark…

·         SPOILER ALERT:  There is a moment at the end of the movie where you see an American flag unfurl to show off the great American spirit and resolve a la post-9/11.  One character asks “So, what now?”  Another person states “Now we rebuild.”   

·         We have to help each other.  In the movie, in order to survive, the characters have to move to higher ground.  That’s not just physically-speaking.  We need to be better and kinder to one another.

Things I liked:

·         I get a kick out of Paul Giamatti, who consistently gives us good performances.  I’m currently watching his mini-series John Adams and recommend it to anyone who wants to learn more about one of America’s Founding Fathers and presidents.

·         The beautiful Alexandra Daddario plays Blake, The Rock’s daughter and the eye candy for the film.  Her acting and looks are more mature than when we last saw her in Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief .

·         Did you notice the purple trees surrounding the buildings at California Institute of Technology?  They must have taken those aerial shots over the campus last spring when the Jacaranda trees were in bloom.  Beautiful. Why would I even notice that?  Hey, I live in the desert in Las Vegas and notice anything that blooms!
     Notice the heart necklace floating in water at the very beginning.  It’s important.

·         If you’re a disaster freak, you get to see earthquakes, fires, and even a Tsunami.  Sorry, no plagues or pestilence.

·         I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area, so it was fun to see some of my old stomping grounds, although I wasn’t happy to see most of them destroyed!  Here’s a picture I took of Coit Tower when I visited there with my parents a couple of years ago.  It’s featured as one of the landmarks in the movie.   

Things I didn’t like:

·         Product placement in movies always kind of annoys me.  I had to snicker when every single student in Lawrence’s college classroom  owned a Mac.

·         Super dramatic music.  The movie takes itself very seriously.

·         I seriously wanted to shave Paul Giamatti’s scraggly beard.  Hey, I saw this movie in IMAX, so those fly-away facial hairs were all over the place!

·         SPOILER ALERT:  It’s so cliché to make the rich guy a complete jerk.

·         I have to admit that some of the material was pretty ridiculous.

Funny lines:

·         “It’s been awhile since I got you to 2^nd base.” – Ray says to Emma while they’re standing in San Francisco’s famous AT&T baseball stadium

·         “Elgin, if you move any faster, you’re going to break a hip.” – Ray

·         “Contrary to popular belief, scientists don’t know everything.”  - Lawrence

·         “I can’t wait to be 20.” – Ollie,  as he watches his big brother kiss a beautiful girl

·         “Who wants an A in an independent study class I’m starting: “how to hack media outlets!”?  - Lawrence

·         “If you’re not already dead, I’m going to F-n kill you!” – Emma (Carla Gugino)

Tips for Parents:

·         The PG-13 rating is for intense disaster sequences, a pretty high body count, and, as you can imagine, a lot of people swearing as they try to survive the death and destruction.  Most of the profanity is when people say “OMG” when they realize how serious a situation is, but Emma (the mom) gets the honor of dropping the only F-bomb in the movie because she’s ticked off that someone hurt her daughter.  Hey, you don’t mess with mama bears.

·         The college professor gives you a short history of the biggest earthquakes in the history of the world at the beginning of the movie.  Did you know the largest earthquake in North America was a gigantic 9.1 in Alaska?

Prepper tips based on this movie:

·         Be married to a hulk of a man who has easy access to a helicopter to save you.

·         “You need to drop, cover, and hold on because your life is going to depend on it.”  - Lawrence

·         Learn how to hotwire a car

·         You need a plan

·         “Every city has a tactical channel.”  - Blake   (Get yourself a ham radio or GMRS radio so you can communicate with your loved ones when the cell towers are down.)

·         Learn to run fast.  Surviving a disaster involves lots of running.

·         Learn CPR and First Aid.  When your loved ones are hurt, you’re going to wish you knew how to help them.

·         Don’t wear flip flops before disaster strikes.  Ha ha  (Both leading ladies are conveniently wearing boots.)

·         Don’t text and drive.

·         Know what the threats are to the city in which you live.  I live in Las Vegas where people were completely shocked when we had a 4.8 earthquake last weekend.  The city sits on SEVERAL fault lines!  If you want to see where the most recent earthquakes hit in the world TODAY, go to  http://earthquaketrack.com/recent      SPOILER ALERT: Hoover Dam is completely destroyed in the movie, which is pretty spectacular to watch, but not something I hope ever happens.  I just drove across that amazing bridge last weekend on my way to visit my son in Arizona!  It’s so high and scary!  It snapped like a toothpick in about 2 seconds in the movie after a 7.1 earthquake.  EEK!  I hope it takes a much bigger earthquake than that to crumble the surrounding area.  Fun fact: Alexandra Daddario pronounces the state of Nevada incorrectly in the movie….it’s not Nevoda people!

·         Know how to commandeer an airplane and boat.

·         Keep a map of your city on you.  Nope, the cell phone navigator probably won’t work.

·         For more great emergency preparedness tips, visit my friend’s preparedness web site at http://michael.coxfam.org/family-home-storage/


Can't get enough of the moving and shaking?  Try some of these earthquake movies:

Pompeii serves up ash and cheese for disaster lovers

Movie Title:   Pompeii

PG-13, 1 hour 38 minutes

Grade:   B

In a Nutshell:   This disaster movie is getting terrible reviews, but I still got a kick out of the swords-and-sandal attempt at filling in the details of how things went down in Pompeii .  The plot is paper thin, but the special effects (I saw it in 3D) are cool and it’s been awhile since we’ve had such a massive destruction movie like this.  As a kid, I was fascinated by disaster movies like The Poseidon Adventure , Earthquake , and The Towering Inferno . 

I was just in Italy last spring, but didn’t have enough time to visit Pompeii .  I hear it’s chilling to see the human remains frozen in time and to imagine the devastation that ended their lives.  It’s so heart-breaking, which could have made for a profoundly deep movie, but the film stays at the surface of emotions, mixing some gladiator fight scenes with a forbidden romance. Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson of Resident Evil , the movie tops your bag of popcorn with lots of cheese.

Uplifting theme:   Get a 72 hour emergency kit.  I’m kidding, but really not.  I liked how some of the characters faced imminent death with dignity and love, rather than fear.  One character (no spoiler alert here) declares “I don’t want to spend our last few moments together running.”  While the younger generation today often paints their lack of societal comportment behind the flag of “YOLO” (You Only Live Once), the idea of living life to the fullest is inspiring, because none of us really does know how much time we have left on this earth.

Things I liked:

• The aerial views of the city in the movie were really good and allowed you to visualize what life may have been like back then.  Pompeii was an ancient Roman city that was buried under 20 feet of ash after the earthquake and eruption of Mount Vesuvius in 79 AD.  During the excavations, plaster was used to fill in the spaces between the ash layers so that you can see the exact position people were in when they died.  Today the ruins include a forum, baths, artwork, markets, a port, pools, houses, amphitheater, aqueduct, and many homes.  
• I’m so glad that 3D isn’t used for silly visual gimmicks anymore, but has become much more sophisticated, enhancing the viewing experience.  The CGI was really good and even made me flinch a time or two.
• I’ve always been a huge fan of 24: The Complete Series and enjoyed watching Kiefer Sutherland.  I don’t think I had heard him speak with a British accent before.   He certainly doesn’t look Roman, but it was still good to see him on the big screen.
• The playful banter between the two main gladiators was endearing.  Adewale Akinnuoye, who plays Atticus, is such a beast.
• I liked the pretty beads in Cassia’s and Aurelia’s hair.  Let’s see if that starts a new fashion trend.
• The eagle was a symbol of Rome and used frequently in the movie to illustrate the overarching power and authority of the oppressive empire.  I thought it was clever to show certain characters (no spoiler alert here) die underneath a big statue of an eagle that had fallen on top of them.
• The friendship between Cassia (Australian beauty Emily Browning) and Ariadne (Evil Dead star Jessica Lucas) was sweet and I liked it when the camera caught a quick glance of them as they held hands for courage.
• I saw the famous Roman Coliseum last April and marveled at the tunnels underneath the fighting floor.  I liked how Pompeii tried to recreate historic architecture and culture.
• I liked the dramatic chorus of masked performers who narrated the gladiator battles in the arena.  Kind of creepy and cool.
• Ash floats through the air after the volcano blows, reminding me I need to put a few more face masks, lip balm and bandanas in my emergency preparedness kit.  I had never really thought about how dark it would have been, as the thick ash clouds covered the sun.
• I appreciated some of the details, like when you see blood dripping down from Milo’s finger after a fight.
• The ending is super cheesy, but I still liked it.

Things I didn’t like:

• It tried to be too much like Gladiator .  Atticus even had a little wooden doll like the African gladiator in that movie.  It feels a bit like a mash-up of Gladiator , Titanic , and Earthquake .
• The casting wasn’t very authentic to the time and culture, although Milo (played by Game of Thrones Kit Harington) looks Italian.  He’s actually a British actor whose real name is Christopher Catesby.
• Cassia says “You came back for me” when her beloved rescues her from her villain.  That line has been used so many times in film history by damsels in distress that I’d really like to hear something new and creative.

Interesting lines:

•  “No gladiator should die from a knife to the back.”  - Atticus
• “He’s a politician.  Be careful what you say to him.”  - Aurelia
• “Why so serious?” – Atticus.  Wait, wasn’t that Heath Ledger in Batman?
• “This is not sport.  This is politics.”  - Corvus the Senator

Things to look for:

• The Boss Slaver’s curly bangs looked more like something out of the Hunger Games.
• The frescos painted on the walls…many were actually preserved during the excavation of the city and offer a peek into life during that time.

Tips for parents:   Some profanity, brutal gladiator fight scenes, whippings, disturbing death moments, bloody killings.  The body count in this movie is unusually high.

Other media that features Pompeii :   

• Bastille’s song Pompeii in their album
• British TV series
• Doctor Who episode
• Cambridge Latin Course Unit 1: Pompeii Book 1 that features a story about Pompeii