Kingsman Golden Circle is crazy, over-the-top entertainment

Movie Title:   Kingsman: The Golden Circle

Grade:  B

Rating: R, 2 hours 21 minutes

In a Nutshell:  This sequel to the original Kingsman: The Secret Service 

Uplifting theme: 

• “Being a kingsman is more than the clothes we wear or the weapons we bear." - Harry (Colin Firth)
•  "Having something to lose makes life worth living." - Harry (Colin Firth).
• Friendship, loyalty, love
• Good over evil

Things I liked:

• The talented cast is fun to watch and includes Colin Firth, Taron Egerton, Julianne Moore, Mark Strong, Halle Berry, Channing Tatum, and Jeff Bridges.  Throw a thick mustache on Pedro Pascal and he looks like a young Burt Reynolds, right?
• The movie starts with a great action sequence and runs fast the entire 2 hours.
• I got a kick out of the British vs. American banter.
• Taron Egerton is the perfect Eggsy and really shines in his role.
• Julianne Moore is a fun villain.  You can see her play twin sisters in the dark comedy Suburbicon in theaters now.
• Yes, that’s the real Elton John in the movie!  His acting isn't very good, but he's still awesome.
• Great stunts and special effects.
• Cool James Bond types of weapons.
• John Denver and Elton John music.  Ahhh.

Things I didn’t like:

• It’s extremely over-the-top and exaggerated.
• Jeff Bridges seems to play the same crusty, old fart in all of his movies lately. 
• There is a LOT going on!  

Funny lines:
* "If I save the world, can I have two tickets to your next concert?" - Harry to Elton John
   "If you save the world, you can have a backstage pass." - Elton John


Tips for parents: 

• Lots of crude profanity, including many F-bombs.
• Lots of violence, deaths, and destruction.
• Several inappropriate sex jokes and images. 
• Gross images involving a meat grinder and other forms of death.

MOVIE REVIEW MOM

@trinaboice 

Hail Caesar! pokes good fun at old Hollywood

Movie Title:       Hail, Caesar! 

Grade:   B+

Rating:   PG-13, 1 hour 45 minutes

In a Nutshell:    Four-time Oscar winning brothers Joel and Ethan Coen have created an extremely entertaining  comedy that pokes fun at Hollywood’s Golden Age, featuring a gigantic cast of today’s A-listers, including George Clooney, Channing Tatum, Scarlett Johansson, Ralph Fiennes, Josh Brolin, Jonah Hill, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, and so many more.

Uplifting theme: 

• “People don’t want the facts.  They want to believe.” – Eddie Mannix
• “God wants us to do what’s right.  The inner voice that tells us what’s right comes from God.” – priest in confessional

Things I liked:

• I liked the way the narrator told the story about telling stories.  The Lockheed recruiter tells Eddie Mannix, “The picture business is pretty silly” and yet we still love movies. They move us, inspire us, make us laugh, make us cry, make us feel!
• The film is filled with super funny sound effects, including a bird sound every time someone said the line “On wings of eagles.”  It reminded me of the running gag on “Young Frankenstein”.   A lot of the humor reminded me of the old Mel Brooks comedies.
• Funny cowboy stunt scene.  Alden Ehrenreich does a great job as Hobie Doyle.
• There’s a great dance scene with Channing Tatum in the “Swingin’ Dinghy” bar that will remind you of the fun singing and dancing films featuring legendary Gene Kelly.
• There is an amusing scene where Ralph Fiennes plays an eloquent director who uses words that simpleton Hobie Doyle (and probably some people in the audience) don’t know.  You’ll be ahead of the game when you already know these words: “mirthless” (without laughter), “rueful” (sorrow, pity) , “trippingly” (light and quick)
• “Divine presence to be shot.”   Ha ha
• Wayne knight from Seinfeld: The Complete Series has a bit part.  It was good to see him again, and funny to see him as a movie Extra.
• I thought it was interesting that the main film they were filming during the movie was the story of Christ from the perspective of a Roman soldier, which is exactly what the movie Risen is about, which is also currently in movie theaters.
• The talented Tilda Swinton plays twins.  I’m happy to get as many doses of Tilda as we can get.
• I have always adored Christopher Lambert ever since Mortal Kombat and Highlander: The Movie .  Here he has a tiny part as a German director.  It’s been awhile since I’ve seen him too.  Look close or you’ll miss him.
• My husband and I watched every episode of Numb3rs: The Complete Series , so it was fun to see David Krumholtz, who plays a Communist writer.  The Communist “club” scenes were funny and filled with familiar faces.
• Religious characters in movies are usually made fun of, but not in this one. Josh Brolin’s character is sincere, religious, talented, yet flawed in an endearing way.
• I thought George Clooney’s speech at the cross was both sweet and funny at just the right moment.
• It looked like they filmed on the actual Universal Studios lot.  I was just there a few months ago!  It’s such a fun theme park.   

Things I didn’t like:

• One shot allows you to see right up George Clooney’s nose, hairs and all.   
• Anyone over 50 should be able to remember some of the original stars and movies that are being alluded to in this film.  Those younger may not appreciate all of the inside jokes.
• Some gags go on for a little too long.

Funny lines:

•  “I need some petty cash.  Do you have $100,000?” - Mannix
• “You worship a God who doesn’t love anyone.” – Protestant Clergyman (Allan Havey)

“Not true.  He loves Jews.” – Rabbi (Robert Picardo)

Interesting lines:

• “Same thing…history and economics, isn’t it?” – Head Communist Writer (Max Baker)
• “The picture has worth and you have worth as long as you serve the picture.” – Mannix

Tips for parents:   

• Some “real” profanity, as well as harmless words like “Nuts!”
• Young kids may not get some of the humor or pop culture references.
• Some subtle sexual innuendo, but young kids will probably not catch it.

Jupiter Ascending is visually impressive with a messy script

Movie: Jupiter Ascending

PG-13, 2 hours 5 minutes

Grade: A- for visually amazing

              C- for story and dialogue

In a Nutshell:  Wow.  Talk about sensory overload.  The special effects are amaze balls. I went with some friends to see this in 3D at a Galaxy DFX theater which enhances the sound and offers those awesome reclining chairs.  One of the ladies I sat with said she had to close her eyes several times because she couldn’t take it all in.  I wonder if you get a free vomit bag with your ticket when you watch this in those Dbox motion chairs.

This fantasy adventure feels like a visit to the cantina scene in Star Wars with crazy aliens coming together to fight over power and the ownership of planet Earth.  One of the scenes looks like it actually could have been filmed on Star Wars’ Naboo. The script is messy, but the costumes, set design, make-up, and CGI are extremely creative and impressive, surely eating up most of the reported 175 million dollar budget.  The Wachowski brothers (one of them is now female) brought us the epic The Matrix magic, but have now created a story that mere earthlings can’t quite comprehend.  Even still, it’s an entertaining ride if you don’t mind the odd moments.

Uplifting Theme:

·         “It’s not what you do.  It’s what you are.” – Stinger Apini (Sean Bean)

·         What would you do with your time if you had an endless amount of it? What price would you be willing to pay to get more time?

·         There is an awkward exploration of capitalism, greed, and morality.

Things I liked:

·         If you like action, this movie includes the non-stop variety.

·         I LOVE LOVE the hover boots that make Channing Tatum look like he’s ice skating through air.  I hope I can buy a pair on Amazon soon.

·         Beautiful aerial views of Chicago.

·         There is a somewhat humorous attempt at explaining crop circles and dinosaurs.  I always wanted to know the scoop on those two things.  Now I know.

·         I loved the see-through floor on Balem Abrasax’s space ship.

·         I didn’t know Tuppence Middleton was so pretty when I first saw her in The Imitation Game.  Her character as Kalique Abrasax in Jupiter Ascending looked obviously fake in the beginning, so I was glad when we got to see her true beauty later on. 

·         There was so much to see that I would like to study some of the images frame by frame.

·         The gay robotic bureaucrat scene was odd, disturbing and funny at the same time.

Things I didn’t like:

·         Mila Kunis plays Jupiter Jones who falls in love with Caine in less than 30 seconds.  It’s embarrassing how quickly she throws herself at him.  Caine, by the way, is played by a blonde Channing Tatum.  He goes shirtless for a longer than necessary and the blonde scruff makes you wince just a little bit.  Two good-looking people should create sparks, but their romantic dialogue falls flat.

·         One of the guys I watched the movie with noted that the musical score by Michael Giacchino was too overpowering.  That could have been because we were in a sound-enhanced screening, so it’s hard to know if others will experience the same effect.

·         There were some attempts at humor, but not nearly enough successful ones.  Want to see a sci-fi fantasy flick that will make you laugh out loud a LOT?   Guardians of the Galaxy!

·         Mila Kunis’emotional range as Jupiter Jones is pretty small in this movie. Even after her entire world is shaken, all she can muster is a “Holy Crap.”  Years ago I took a jungle tour of St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands.  The tour guide’s name was Jupiter.  He explained to us that it was because he was so “far out.”

·         I adored Eddie Redmayne in The Theory of Everything and hope he wins an Oscar to go with his Golden Globe for it, but his performance in this film was odd and vacillates between monotone whispers and screaming, with nothing in between.

·         The elephant man alien appears out of place in what should be serious dramatic moments.

·         SPOILER ALERT: There is an icky Soylent Green moment.

·         Why were there so many bald women in this movie?

·         There is so much going on in the action sequences that it’s often hard to figure out exactly what’s going on.

Interesting lines:

·         “Technically speaking, I’m an alien, and from an immigration perspective, I’m an illegal one.” – Jupiter

·         “Off the record, I will tell you that you are a man of rare courage and I pray that your aim is true.” – Diomika Tsing (Nikki Amuka-Bird)

Lines that make you sneer:

·         “Men do not like smart women.” – Jupiter’s uncle

·         “My mom says true love is just a fairy tale for little girls.” – Jupiter

·         “I will never complain about the DMV again.” – Jupiter

·         “I am not your mother.” – Jupiter

“No, my mother never cleaned a toilet in her life.” – Balem Abrasax

Tips for Parents:

·         Some profanity, but no F-bombs.

·         You see the naked backside of a female and male in two different scenes, as well as a girl in her tiny underwear.  (She has amazing abs.)

·         There is a short orgy scene, but you don’t see details, other than faces.

·         There are sexual innuendos, lots of violence (some bloody), and evil motives.

The Lego Movie has quick wit, gags and fun for all ages

Movie Title:  The Lego Movie

Grade:  A-

In a Nutshell:  Quick-witted fun for all ages, as well as obvious Lego lovers.  While raising 4 boys, I’ve sucked up my share of miscellaneous Lego pieces on the carpet with my vacuum cleaner over the years, as well as stepped on the sharp plastic corners in the middle of the night one too many times, but I still love Legos.  Actually, the plural of Lego is Lego, so I should change that last sentence, but I won’t because I’m as sassy as the movie.

I lived only a few blocks away from LegoLand in Carlsbad, California for 6 years and even had an annual membership.  That theme park is simply adorable and a truly fun amusement park for the whole family.  One of the things I love about LegoLand is its keen sense of humor and that it doesn’t take itself so seriously.  This movie is exactly that. 

The jokes fly fast and furiously and the story line is surprisingly thought-out with a couple of sweet twists in the end.  It feels like free-flowing play itself with the satisfaction you get after building something well.

The fun flick is filled with tremendous voice talent, including Will Ferrell, Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson, Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Elizabeth Banks, Will Arnett, and Chris Pratt.  Shaquille O’Neal plays himself, and Billy Dee Williams revisits his role as Lando in Star Wars.

Uplifting theme:  Like most movies with Morgan Freeman in them, his character says the bulk of the inspiring lines in the film.

• “The only thing you need to be special is to believe that you are.”  - Vitruvius
• “We all have something that makes us something.” – Emmet’s co-worker
• Emmet worries “What do I do?  I don’t have my instructions!” illustrates the importance of imagination and creativity.
• “Believe.  Then you will see everything.”  - Vitruvius
• “You have to embrace what is special about you.”  - Vitruvius

Things I liked:

• I can’t get that “Everything is awesome!” song out of my head
• I love quick wit.  This movie’s jam is quick wit.
• The water in the shower, hot tub bubbles, and ocean white caps were fantastic
• I loved how Emmet did Jumping Jacks
• Frequent use of plastic Lego flames.  It’s amazing how often they were able to use them.
• I thought it was cute how they tied in the use of instructions into the theme of the movie.  Emmet begins showing each step he takes in the morning, as if he’s writing instructions for you to follow.  Later, the good guys create a step-by-step plan to defeat the bad guys, identifying the correct order for you to follow.
• Twist ending

Things I didn’t like:

• No need to pay extra money for 3D.  There is almost too much stimulation and the whole film is a bit manic, similar to Christmas morning when wonderful presents and wrapping paper are strewn everywhere.
• My little kids were too smart to recognize that when everyone gets a trophy for just paying to be on a Little League baseball team, then the trophy isn’t worth anything.  They hated being told “Everyone is special” because that meant to them that nobody was special.  This movie has a bit of that philosophy in it, although it tries to point out that everyone is special for different reasons.
• Cloud Cocoaland?  I thought they could have come up with something more clever than that.

Funny lines: The adults were laughing more than the kids.  Parents won’t have to suffer through this children’s animated movie.  A lot of the humor will go over kids’ heads, and the wit happens so fast that you’re sure to miss some of it too.

• “Come with me if you want to not die.” – Wyldstyle/Lucy
• “Place the thing on the other thing and save the universe.”  - Vitruvius
• “We’ll wing it.  It’s a bat pun.”  -  Batman
• “You don’t know me, but I’m on TV, so you can trust me.” – Wyldstyle/Lucy
• “Let’s take extra care to follow the instructions or you’ll be put to sleep.  And don’t forget Taco Tuesday’s coming next week.”  - President Business
• “I only work in black.  And sometimes very, very dark grey.”  - Batman
• “Okay, I think it got it.  But just in case, say it all over again.  I wasn’t listening.”  - Emmet
• “Do you see the quotations I’m making with my claw hands?”  - Bad cop/good cop
• “Here are your pants.  End of series.”  - Wyldstyle/Lucy as she walks onto the set of the popular TV show “Where are my pants?”
• “Ow!  That is going to start hurting pretty soon.” – Emmet
• “I WILL text you.”  - Batman
• “This has been the greatest almost 15 minutes of my life.”  - Emmet
• “I’m dark and brooding.  Look!  A rainbow!”  - Emmet

Things to look for:  You need to pay attention, because clever gags appear and disappear quickly, along with the rapid-fire wit.  I’ll bet this film will do well with DVD sales, because everyone will want to have the power to hit the pause button on this one. There are too many details to mention.  The Legoland amusement park has a “Minland” in the center of the park that is unbelievably detailed with hidden gems everywhere.  This movie is like that.

• I’ve never seen a surfer Lego dude with flowing, blonde hair!
• Bubbles in the hot tub in The Old West
• Cool Lego dust behind moving cars in the dirt
• Lego smoke blocks from a moving train

Tips for parents:  Relax and rest easy on this one.  All of the profanity includes such lines as “Darn, darn, darny, darn” (Bad cop/good cop) and “Dangit!” (Batman & Wonder Woman).  Pretty nice, right?  Someone calls someone else a “butt”, but there is a surprisingy lack of toilet humor for a kids movie.  Nice, right?  There is a budding romance, but no Lego kissing. Merchandising for this movie is going to be huge.

The White House is Down...again.

                                                     
                                                             by Trina Boice
                                                         www.TrinaBoice.com

The White House is under attack….again.  If you saw “Olympus Has Fallen” a few months ago, then you’ve “been there, done that” minus the wonder that is Morgan Freeman.  (My kids swear he’s in every movie they’ve ever seen.) 

 

Isn’t it weird when similar movies are released around the same time?  Remember last summer’s “Snow White and the Huntsman” and “Mirror, Mirror”?  Granted, they were completely different movies, but I guess it’s a matter of studios spying on each other for movie themes and wanting to “one-up” each other.  Like “Olympus Has Fallen”, “White House Down” has received mixed reviews.

                               

Including a funny reference to the blockbuster “Independence Day” this action thriller was directed by Roland Emmerich who also directed “Independence Day”, “2012” and “The Day After Tomorrow.”  He obviously loves disasters and making messes, although this is the first time that the chaos is confined to one specific location.   Written by James Vanderbilt, who also wrote “The Amazing Spider-Man”, this Sony release doesn’t hit as hard or as funny as you might like, but is still enjoyable for those who love explosions and lots and lots of gun fire.  Lots.

 

Of course, if all you care about is watching sexy actor-turned-action hero, Channing Tatum, then you’re good to go.  Tatum plays John Cale, an ex-soldier underdog who visits the White House in hopes of securing a job with the Secret Service. Jamie Foxx plays President Sawyer, an Obama-esque leader who drops the only F-bomb in the flick.  Touting a left-wing agenda of anti-military, President Sawyer is ironically saved by the troops.  

 

I noticed that the summer popcorn movie scored fairly average on Rotten Tomatoes with many viewers citing the “cheese factor”, as well as comparisons to the one-man-against-all-the-bad guys style of all the “Die Hard” films.  Tatum even wears the classic dirty “wife-beater” t-shirt styled by Bruce Willis in the franchise films.  The “Die Hard” formula has been a hit with many movie-goers for years, and this one will be too.  Unfortunately, it has some clichés that make it a bit tired, such as the disgruntled teen who calls her father by his first name until she sees what a true hero he really is, bad guys who have superior fire power, yet can’t seem to ever hit their target, and characters who walk away from a grenade that explodes only inches away from them.

 

It’s still a lot of fun and reminds us that family is most important.  Interestingly, both the evil mastermind and the hero fight for family in “White House Down.”  Take a tub of buttery popcorn and your teenage boys.

 

Grade = B+