Smurfs. Blue. Meh.

Movie Title:  Smurfs: The Lost Village

Grade:  C

Rating:  PG, 1 hour 30 minutes

In a Nutshell:  Little ones will be entertained while parents snooze during this Sony Picture animation.  The cast is a pretty impressive collection of movie stars, Grammy winners, comedians, and even a celebrity chef (Gordon Ramsey), including Julia Roberts, Demi Lovato, Rainn Wilson, Mandy Patinkin, Meghan Trainor, Gabriel Iglesias, Jeff Dunham, Danny Pudi, Ellie Kemper, and so many more.

Uplifting theme: 

• Friendship, loyalty, kindness, love
• Labels and names
• Let people be who they are
• Girl power

Things I liked:

• Demi Lovato plays Smurfette.  I wish she would have sung more.
• The talented Rainn Wilson (The Office: The Complete Series) voices the bad guy, Gargamel.  I’m surprised he hasn’t been cast in more animated movies.
• Jack McBrayer has the perfect Smurf voice.
• I love to see Mandy Patinkin in anything.  My all-time favorite line of his comes from another one of my all-time favorite movies The Princess Bride: “Hello.  My name is Inigo Montoya.  You killed my father.  Prepared to die!”  My family recites that often.
• Michelle Rodriguez voices “SmurfStorm” and stars in The Fate of the Furious.  You can see my movie review of Fate of the Furious here. Congrats to her for having two movies out in theaters at the same time!
• It’s extremely colorful.
• Lots of action.
• Some of the creatures are pretty adorable.
• There isn't blatant merchandising by Sony like in the last film. 

Things I didn’t like:

• I really didn't want to see this movie.  The last ones were so bad. This one just didn’t grab me either, although it was better.  I’ve just never gotten into any of the Smurf movies for some reason.  I know some adults are true blue fans.   For me, zzzzz….
• It’s extremely predictable.
• SPOILER:  fake death scene, obligatory dance scene at the end of the movie.
• Quite a few scenes looked like they were trying to copy the magic of Avatar.
• It’s really hard to tell the various Smurfs apart sometimes.
• It’s super contrived.  It has all of the elements that usually create the magical formula for animation hits.  There’s just something missing....something lost....a village maybe?  ha ha

Funny lines:

• “It’s like a workout for my eyeballs.” – Smurf (which one?)
• “I’m really freaking out you guys!” – Clumsy Smurf (Jack McBrayer)
• “Dang, girl smurfs mean business.” – Clumsy Smurf

Tips for parents: 

• ZERO profanity.   Yay!
• Some mild fighting
• Expected butt jokes and some other rude, childish humor.
• Safe family entertainment.

@trinaboice 

Jem and the Holograms preaches be yourself

Movie:    Jem and the Holograms

Rating:    PG, 1 hour 58 minutes

Grade:   B-

In a Nutshell:   If you’re a 7 year old girl, you’ll like this musical fantasy movie.  This live-action girl-power flick is based on the 1980’s cartoon series about the adventures of an all-girl rock band, although it doesn’t have the humor and high adventure as the source material.

The movie poster advertises that the film is “Truly Outrageous”.  Um….no, not really.  More like “Truly Touchy-feely.”   Overall, it is sweet and has a positive message for girls.

Uplifting Theme:

·         Create your own destiny.

·         Use your gifts to inspire people.

·         Never fear the unknown.

·         “We each have music inside us.  It connects us all.” – Jem

·          Jem tells Rio (Ryan Guzman) “It seems like you’re fatally allergic to positivity.”  A running theme throughout the movie is to think positive and hope for the best.

·         “Don’t underestimate yourself.” – Rio

·         “Time with family, the ones you love most…there’s nothing more valuable.” – Jerrica’s Dad

Things I liked:

·         Fun cameos include Jimmy Fallon, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Chris Pratt, Alicia Keys, and Jason Kennedy.

·         Synergy is adorable…and designed to evoke girly giggles and “ahhhhhs” from the target audience. 

·         The YouTube generation will eat up all of the supposed real clips of tweens whose lives were changed by #Jem.  The only thing missing was sugary emoticons with glitter.

·         Molly Ringwald, America’s sweetheart teenager from the 1986  Pretty in Pink , is aging well.

·         Cool bird’s eye view of LA.

·         I loved the big wooden doors at the Starlight mansion.

·         Starring Aubrey Peeples as Jem, her girl band does make some pretty harmonies.  The politically correct, multi-racial girls include Stefanie Scott (Kimber), Aurora Perrineau (Shana), and Hayley Kiyoko (Aja).

Things I didn’t like:

·         It’s extremely formulaic and predictable.

·         It’s hard to feel sad for a girl who is young, beautiful, talented, rich and famous.

·         With all of his mixed martial art training, we don’t get to watch Ryan Guzman fight or dance like in his debut role in Step Up All In , but we do get to hear him sing.

·         Stupid slow-motion scene of the girls having a squirt bottle fight in bikinis.

·         Jerrica’s dad completely focuses on her and not the other daughters.  I would feel sad and neglected if I were her sister.

Funny lines:  

·          “If squirrels can waterski, we can do anything, guys!” – security guard at Starlight Studio

·         “Valet of the Damned”.   Ha ha

·         “This is a Tetanus shot waiting to happen.” – Shana  

Lines that are supposed to sound profound:

·         The best answer is the one that’s been with you all along.”  Jem   

·         “Jem is anyone who has something to express.  We’re all Jem!  This is our time!” - Jem

·         “A home is where you’re surrounded by people you love and who love you regardless.” – Kimber 

·         “Did you just quote a Beyonce song?” – Aja  

“Yeah, cuz she got it so right!” – Jem

·         “Your destiny can be as mysterious and vast as any ocean.” – Dad

·         “Where you go now is up to you.” – Dad

·         “Come on, ya gotta jump some time.” - Rio

Tips that Erica Raymond gives to the girls to become stars:

1.       Stand tall

2.       Lean back

3.       Smile, but don’t make faces

4.       Look like you’re having fun, but don’t really have fun.

5.       A bad photo lives longer than vampires.

 Tips for Parents:

·          The PG rating is for some reckless behavior by the girls that you don’t want your own daughters to emulate, kissing, a guy with nothing on but a towel, and some profanity.

·         Parents, be prepared for your daughters to paint their hair and faces lots of different colors.  Expect to see the sale of face and hair glitter to jump.

If you or your daughter can't get enough of the magic of Jem, check out these fun items: