Inferno doesn't light the box office on fire

Movie Title:   Inferno

Grade:  B

Rating:  PG-13, 121 minutes

In a Nutshell:  I really enjoyed Dan Brown’s book a few years ago when I read it.  Yeah, I know…it’s not high-brow literature, but more of a guilty pleasure.  

It has been 10 years since the last Dan Brown movie and, unfortunately, this one is getting mediocre reviews like that last two action films in the series.

After the rolling credits, right before the words “Columbia Pictures,” it says in bold letters, “Be Moved.”  You might or might not.

Uplifting theme: 

• Cerca trova.   Seek and find.
• The intriguing question asked is: “If you could flip a switch, half of the population dies, or if you don’t do it, mankind will be extinct in 100 years…what would you do?”
• “Things fall apart if you don’t look after them.” – Robert
• “The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis.” – Dante Alighieri
• Create your life.  Don’t let life pull you apart from the one you love, like Dante and Beatrice and two other people in the movie (NO spoiler alert.)

Things I liked:

• Who doesn’t love Tom Hanks?  What was up with his hair in this movie though?
• I LOVE Italy.  I was in Florence and Venice just a couple of years ago. We walked right by Dante’s actual house in Florence.  One thing I love about the Dan Brown books and movies is that you get to traipse around Europe.  While bullets fly around Tom Hanks, it’s fun to do some sightseeing. The set piece in Istanbul is stunning. 
• Felicity Jones does all of the same stunts Tom Hanks does, but in high heels.  I’m excited to see her in the upcoming Star Wars movie “Rogue One.”  She’s always great in everything.

Things I didn’t like:

• If you haven’t read the book, you’ll probably be confused for the first 30 minutes.  The movie starts with a mixture of reality and visions, making it difficult for even fans of the book to know what’s going on.
• The time stamp in various scenes lends a sense of urgency, but the timing of events are pretty unrealistic.
• One of the most compelling things about the character Robert Langdon is his ability to solve complex puzzles.  Unfortunately, he spends the majority of the movie experiencing amnesia and hallucinations, so that people have to tell him what’s happening, making the unraveling of the mystery less than satisfying.
• It takes a really long time for Felicity Jones’ character to have a reason for her to be with Tom Hanks’ character.
• The script writing definitely doesn’t provide the details that the book does. There were some inconsistencies and plot holes that were frustrating.

Interesting lines:

• “Maybe pain can save us.” – Bertrand Zobrist
• “Mankind is its own cancer.” – Bertrand
• “There’s always a way out.” – Robert
• “I’m not afraid to act, but doing nothing terrifies me.” – Sienna
• “Beauty awakens the soul to act.” – Dante
• “The most interesting things happen in doorways.” – Robert
• “Genius doesn’t come with extra rights.” – Robert

Funny lines:

• “Weird kid.  Did I say that out loud?” – Robert
• “I’m sorry.  I’m not like this.” – Robert

“You kind of are.” – Sienna Brooks

• “I studied Dante when I was younger.” – Sienna

“Probably in Kindergarten.” – Robert

• “Young people are disappointing.” – Harry Sims (Irrfan Khan)

Tips for parents: 

• There is a lot of blood, violence, death, beating, stabbing, and scary images.
• 1 F-bomb and some other profanity. 
• 
  

Fun books by Dan Brown that I really got a kick out of:

   


Read Dante's original work:


 

All Roads Lead to Rome doesn't have the romantic magic Italy deserves

Movie: All Roads Lead to Rome

Grade:   C-

Rating:   PG-13, 1 hour 30 minutes

In a Nutshell:    I LOVE Italy, which is the best thing about this rom-com.  Set to release in select theaters and On Demand in February, Sarah Jessica Parker carries this cheesy love story.  The last time we saw her in Europe, she was in Paris, starring in Sex and the City: The Movie with her glamorous outfits and co-stars. 

This time, she is racing around the Italian countryside after her delinquent teenager daughter.  She tells her daughter at the beginning of the movie how laid back and peaceful Italy is, yet the film doesn’t give us either one of those things.

This is no Under the Tuscan Sun , which I loved, although Raoul Bova, who romanced Diane Lane in that movie, is the love interest of Sarah Jessica Parker in this one.  By the way, here is a picture of me with Diane Lane!

  

Uplifting theme: 

• Love:  romantic and unconditional
• Patient parenting

Things I liked:

• Maggie puts up with a lot of terrible behavior from her daughter.  I admire her patience and determination.  I also admire how she is able to walk on Italian cobblestone streets in her high heels.
• You get to see some beautiful scenery in Italy, although not nearly enough.  Here are some pictures from my trip to Rome a couple of years ago.

    

           

Things I didn’t like:

• Summer (Rosie Day), Maggie’s daughter, is extremely unpleasant.  She’s such a bratty, ungrateful teenager and her hair looks like stringy cotton candy.  Writers Cindy Myers and Josh Appignanesi should have let us see some of her redeemable qualities so that we could have cared about her. 
• There is a lot of Italian spoken without subtitles.
• There is so much racing around that you don’t really have time to enjoy the gorgeous Italian landscape and sites.  The scenes in Rome are so short that you don’t get to enjoy that beautiful city either.
• The film is filled with constant bickering.  It’s supposed to be playful, but it’s mostly annoying.
• Tons of romantic clichés, such as “Separate rooms? I’m sorry. We only have one room left in the hotel for tonight.”

Interesting lines:

• “A woman takes what she wants when she wants it.” – Maggie

Tips for parents:   

• Some profanity.
• Lesbian innuendoes.
• Drugs and other illegal behavior.

By the way, if you get to go to Rome, be sure to toss a coin in the famous Trevi Fountain.  If you do, it means you will return.  I did it when I was in college and I DID return!

Man From U.N.C.L.E. is stylish fun

Movie:   Man from U.N.C.L.E

PG-13, 1 hour 56 minutes

Grade:  B+

In a Nutshell:    This stylish spy film from Guy Ritchie features eye candy for all tastes, and is based on an old espionage cult TV show of the same name.  It’s American CIA agent vs. Russian KGB operative.  It’s sexy and cool and fun.

While the plot isn’t deep, the one-upsmanship gag and evolving friendship between the two spies keeps the whimsy going and the audience happy enough to forgive its faults.

Uplifting Theme:

·         Friendship, loyalty, love, patriotism.

Things I liked:

·         OK, first off…Henry Cavill.  His gorgeous, sculpted face is worth the movie ticket, just so you can stare at him for two hours.  His suits are smart too.  He plays a suave American spy…I mean, a “specialist in complicated acquisitions.”  He couldn’t get any cooler.  His Superman vs. Batman movie hits the big screen next month.  That should be interesting...

·         You’ll remember Armie Hammer who played twins on The Social Network .  (Great movie.)  In this snazzy flick, he’s a Russian spy with some cool tricks up his sleeve and an fist coming out of it.

·         Much of the film takes place in beautiful Italy, Rome in particular.  It’s one of my favorite cities in the world.  Here’s a picture from my trip there a couple of years ago with "the guys" at the Colosseum.

·         Fashion divas will get a kick out of all the retro 60’s dresses, huge dangly earrings, floppy hats, long gloves, and chunky necklaces.

·         Everything was so stylistic from the movie to the sets, cars, street scenes, and split screens.

·         Elizabeth Debicki is such a gorgeous goddess in this film.

Things I didn’t like:

·         Alicia Vikander wears a lot of really fun outfits, but her white sunglasses are just silly.

·         It’s not the action-packed spy thriller that the Jason Bourne franchise is, but it’s still fun.

Funny lines:

·         “When you hear something like a gun shot, drive.” –Napoleon Solo

·         “Loving your work, Cowboy.” – Illya Kuryakin

·         You’re not very good at this subtlety thing, are you?” – Napoleon

·         “For a special agent, you aren’t having a very special day, are you?” – Waverly (Hugh Grant)

·         “Apparently, you put someone named Count Lippi  in the hospital.” – Napoleon

“He had soft bones.” – Illya

Things to look for:

·         I love all the lamp shades in Napoleon’s hotel room in Rome.

·         British actors Henry Cavill and Jared Harris have American accents in the movie, while American Armie Hammer plays a Russian, Swedish actress Alicia Vikander speaks German and European English,  and Australian actress Elizabeth Debicki speaks Italian and British English.

·         The beginning credits give audiences a quick overview of the Cold War through images. 

·         Be sure to read the hilarious ID cards about the spies during the rolling credits at the end.

       Yep, it looks like there will be a sequel.

Tips for Parents:

·         Napoleon is a playa.  You see the silhouette of a mostly naked woman getting out of bed with him.

·         As you can imagine in a spy movie, there is a high body count, lots of fight scenes, explosions, car chases, torture devices, and a man is on fire.
       Some profanity.

Want to learn more about the Man from UNCLE TV series? Check these out:

 


While you're on it, you'll love this:

 

Pompeii serves up ash and cheese for disaster lovers

Movie Title:   Pompeii

PG-13, 1 hour 38 minutes

Grade:   B

In a Nutshell:   This disaster movie is getting terrible reviews, but I still got a kick out of the swords-and-sandal attempt at filling in the details of how things went down in Pompeii .  The plot is paper thin, but the special effects (I saw it in 3D) are cool and it’s been awhile since we’ve had such a massive destruction movie like this.  As a kid, I was fascinated by disaster movies like The Poseidon Adventure , Earthquake , and The Towering Inferno . 

I was just in Italy last spring, but didn’t have enough time to visit Pompeii .  I hear it’s chilling to see the human remains frozen in time and to imagine the devastation that ended their lives.  It’s so heart-breaking, which could have made for a profoundly deep movie, but the film stays at the surface of emotions, mixing some gladiator fight scenes with a forbidden romance. Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson of Resident Evil , the movie tops your bag of popcorn with lots of cheese.

Uplifting theme:   Get a 72 hour emergency kit.  I’m kidding, but really not.  I liked how some of the characters faced imminent death with dignity and love, rather than fear.  One character (no spoiler alert here) declares “I don’t want to spend our last few moments together running.”  While the younger generation today often paints their lack of societal comportment behind the flag of “YOLO” (You Only Live Once), the idea of living life to the fullest is inspiring, because none of us really does know how much time we have left on this earth.

Things I liked:

• The aerial views of the city in the movie were really good and allowed you to visualize what life may have been like back then.  Pompeii was an ancient Roman city that was buried under 20 feet of ash after the earthquake and eruption of Mount Vesuvius in 79 AD.  During the excavations, plaster was used to fill in the spaces between the ash layers so that you can see the exact position people were in when they died.  Today the ruins include a forum, baths, artwork, markets, a port, pools, houses, amphitheater, aqueduct, and many homes.  
• I’m so glad that 3D isn’t used for silly visual gimmicks anymore, but has become much more sophisticated, enhancing the viewing experience.  The CGI was really good and even made me flinch a time or two.
• I’ve always been a huge fan of 24: The Complete Series and enjoyed watching Kiefer Sutherland.  I don’t think I had heard him speak with a British accent before.   He certainly doesn’t look Roman, but it was still good to see him on the big screen.
• The playful banter between the two main gladiators was endearing.  Adewale Akinnuoye, who plays Atticus, is such a beast.
• I liked the pretty beads in Cassia’s and Aurelia’s hair.  Let’s see if that starts a new fashion trend.
• The eagle was a symbol of Rome and used frequently in the movie to illustrate the overarching power and authority of the oppressive empire.  I thought it was clever to show certain characters (no spoiler alert here) die underneath a big statue of an eagle that had fallen on top of them.
• The friendship between Cassia (Australian beauty Emily Browning) and Ariadne (Evil Dead star Jessica Lucas) was sweet and I liked it when the camera caught a quick glance of them as they held hands for courage.
• I saw the famous Roman Coliseum last April and marveled at the tunnels underneath the fighting floor.  I liked how Pompeii tried to recreate historic architecture and culture.
• I liked the dramatic chorus of masked performers who narrated the gladiator battles in the arena.  Kind of creepy and cool.
• Ash floats through the air after the volcano blows, reminding me I need to put a few more face masks, lip balm and bandanas in my emergency preparedness kit.  I had never really thought about how dark it would have been, as the thick ash clouds covered the sun.
• I appreciated some of the details, like when you see blood dripping down from Milo’s finger after a fight.
• The ending is super cheesy, but I still liked it.

Things I didn’t like:

• It tried to be too much like Gladiator .  Atticus even had a little wooden doll like the African gladiator in that movie.  It feels a bit like a mash-up of Gladiator , Titanic , and Earthquake .
• The casting wasn’t very authentic to the time and culture, although Milo (played by Game of Thrones Kit Harington) looks Italian.  He’s actually a British actor whose real name is Christopher Catesby.
• Cassia says “You came back for me” when her beloved rescues her from her villain.  That line has been used so many times in film history by damsels in distress that I’d really like to hear something new and creative.

Interesting lines:

•  “No gladiator should die from a knife to the back.”  - Atticus
• “He’s a politician.  Be careful what you say to him.”  - Aurelia
• “Why so serious?” – Atticus.  Wait, wasn’t that Heath Ledger in Batman?
• “This is not sport.  This is politics.”  - Corvus the Senator

Things to look for:

• The Boss Slaver’s curly bangs looked more like something out of the Hunger Games.
• The frescos painted on the walls…many were actually preserved during the excavation of the city and offer a peek into life during that time.

Tips for parents:   Some profanity, brutal gladiator fight scenes, whippings, disturbing death moments, bloody killings.  The body count in this movie is unusually high.

Other media that features Pompeii :   

• Bastille’s song Pompeii in their album
• British TV series
• Doctor Who episode
• Cambridge Latin Course Unit 1: Pompeii Book 1 that features a story about Pompeii