Norm of the North is a snore fest

Movie Title:      Norm of the North

Grade:           D

Rating:   PG, 1 hour 26 minutes

In a Nutshell:    This animation from Lionsgate is another tired environmental lecture about how animals are superior and humans are evil.

This is NOT one of those family-friendly films when the parents enjoy it as much as the kids. 

Uplifting theme: 

•  Everyone is given talents.  Talents should be used to make a positive difference.
• “You can make a change.  You can find a new way.” –  Elizabeth (Kate Higgins)
• Just because a product says it’s “green”, doesn’t mean it is environmentally-friendly.
• “A king always fights for his home.” 

Things I liked:

• Voice talents of the characters include Rob Schneider, Heather Graham, Bill Nighy, Gabriel Iglesias, Loretta Devin, and Colm Meaney.  They’re mostly unmemorable, but Ken Jeong’s voice work steals the show.
• The little furry animals are supposed to be lemmings.  They’re almost cute.  Did you know that they really do live in the Arctic?
• Pop music.

Things I didn’t like:

• The animation itself is pretty average, certainly not as good as we're used to seeing from Disney or Pixar.
• We’re told “When confronted by a polar bear, assert your dominance and stand your ground.”  That’s terrible advice.  Polar bears are actually very dangerous and vicious.
• “There are never problems, only messages from the universe.” – Mr. Green  (Ken Jeong)
• Polar bears killing seas = good.   Tourists = bad
• There’s a negative jab at a “cola company”, which is generic enough that Lionsgate can’t get sued by Coke.
• If the target audience is young children, then there are a lot of big words and concepts that little kids won’t understand.   

Lines that are supposed to be funny:

• “I put the soul in the winter solstice.” – Norm
• “And the next thing I know I’m twerking in front of a boat of tourists.” – Norm

“Twerking?! Have some self-respect, Norm!” – Socrates

• “Why don’t you take a picture?  It’ll last longer.” – Norm   
• “Well, it’s not Macbeth, but it’s a job.” – costumed bear (Nick Shakoour)
• “Vera, get my lawyer.  We’re going to copyright that roar and make it a ring tone.” – Mr. Green

 Tips for parents:   

• The worse profanity you’ll hear is “crap”.
• Lemmings pee in a fish aquarium and on potted plants.
• Zzzzz….

Grown Ups 2 is a waste of your money and time

Well, I hate to disappoint you, but Grown Ups 2 isn’t going to win any Oscar’s.  Big surprise, right?  While the first installment of Adam Sandler and his buddies pretending to be responsible parents was a fun, goofy flick, this return will bore and disgust you.  The script appears to have been written on a cocktail napkin while Sandler and his actor pals were all drunk out of their minds.

The all-star comedy cast shows that Saturday Night Live bonds last for many years.  I’m glad they’re all having fun and making millions together, but their humor really should be a little bit more grown up by now, don’t you think?  The film is full of crude jokes about barfs, farts, and every body part imaginable.  Fake boobs and coarse, exaggerated antics fill the screen, along with inane dialogue and gags that dwell too long.

Adam Sandler’s character, Lenny Feder, moves back to where he grew up with all of his buddies played by Chris Rock, Kevin James, and David Spade.  Other favorites in the cast include Salma Hayek Pinault, Maya Rudolph, Steve Buscemi, Colin Quinn, Jon Lovitz, Shaquille O’Neal and, of course, Rob Schneider.  Twilight lovers will cringe when they see Taylor Lautner playing a dumb, mean frat boy with lines that include such gems as “farthead.”

 

Adam Sandler attempts to recapture his youth by spewing out the most juvenile plot while insulting his audience.  It’s vulgar and definitely NOT funny.  Are all of the stars in the movie afraid to tell Sandler how bad this movie really is or do they simply not care?

PG-13 for being stupid and offensive, in addition to all of the other reasons.

Grade = F