Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Norm of the North is a snore fest

Movie Title:      Norm of the North

Grade:           D

Rating:   PG, 1 hour 26 minutes

In a Nutshell:    This animation from Lionsgate is another tired environmental lecture about how animals are superior and humans are evil.

This is NOT one of those family-friendly films when the parents enjoy it as much as the kids. 

Uplifting theme: 
  •  Everyone is given talents.  Talents should be used to make a positive difference.
  • “You can make a change.  You can find a new way.” –  Elizabeth (Kate Higgins)
  • Just because a product says it’s “green”, doesn’t mean it is environmentally-friendly.
  • “A king always fights for his home.” 

Things I liked:
  • Voice talents of the characters include Rob Schneider, Heather Graham, Bill Nighy, Gabriel Iglesias, Loretta Devin, and Colm Meaney.  They’re mostly unmemorable, but Ken Jeong’s voice work steals the show.
  • The little furry animals are supposed to be lemmings.  They’re almost cute.  Did you know that they really do live in the Arctic?
  • Pop music.

Things I didn’t like:
  • The animation itself is pretty average, certainly not as good as we're used to seeing from Disney or Pixar.
  • We’re told “When confronted by a polar bear, assert your dominance and stand your ground.”  That’s terrible advice.  Polar bears are actually very dangerous and vicious.
  • “There are never problems, only messages from the universe.” – Mr. Green  (Ken Jeong)
  • Polar bears killing seas = good.   Tourists = bad
  • There’s a negative jab at a “cola company”, which is generic enough that Lionsgate can’t get sued by Coke.
  • If the target audience is young children, then there are a lot of big words and concepts that little kids won’t understand.   

Lines that are supposed to be funny:
  • “I put the soul in the winter solstice.” – Norm
  • “And the next thing I know I’m twerking in front of a boat of tourists.” – Norm
“Twerking?! Have some self-respect, Norm!” – Socrates
  • “Why don’t you take a picture?  It’ll last longer.” – Norm   
  • “Well, it’s not Macbeth, but it’s a job.” – costumed bear (Nick Shakoour)
  • “Vera, get my lawyer.  We’re going to copyright that roar and make it a ring tone.” – Mr. Green
 Tips for parents:   

  • The worse profanity you’ll hear is “crap”.
  • Lemmings pee in a fish aquarium and on potted plants.
  • Zzzzz….
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