Norm of the North is a snore fest

Movie Title:      Norm of the North

Grade:           D

Rating:   PG, 1 hour 26 minutes

In a Nutshell:    This animation from Lionsgate is another tired environmental lecture about how animals are superior and humans are evil.

This is NOT one of those family-friendly films when the parents enjoy it as much as the kids. 

Uplifting theme: 

•  Everyone is given talents.  Talents should be used to make a positive difference.
• “You can make a change.  You can find a new way.” –  Elizabeth (Kate Higgins)
• Just because a product says it’s “green”, doesn’t mean it is environmentally-friendly.
• “A king always fights for his home.” 

Things I liked:

• Voice talents of the characters include Rob Schneider, Heather Graham, Bill Nighy, Gabriel Iglesias, Loretta Devin, and Colm Meaney.  They’re mostly unmemorable, but Ken Jeong’s voice work steals the show.
• The little furry animals are supposed to be lemmings.  They’re almost cute.  Did you know that they really do live in the Arctic?
• Pop music.

Things I didn’t like:

• The animation itself is pretty average, certainly not as good as we're used to seeing from Disney or Pixar.
• We’re told “When confronted by a polar bear, assert your dominance and stand your ground.”  That’s terrible advice.  Polar bears are actually very dangerous and vicious.
• “There are never problems, only messages from the universe.” – Mr. Green  (Ken Jeong)
• Polar bears killing seas = good.   Tourists = bad
• There’s a negative jab at a “cola company”, which is generic enough that Lionsgate can’t get sued by Coke.
• If the target audience is young children, then there are a lot of big words and concepts that little kids won’t understand.   

Lines that are supposed to be funny:

• “I put the soul in the winter solstice.” – Norm
• “And the next thing I know I’m twerking in front of a boat of tourists.” – Norm

“Twerking?! Have some self-respect, Norm!” – Socrates

• “Why don’t you take a picture?  It’ll last longer.” – Norm   
• “Well, it’s not Macbeth, but it’s a job.” – costumed bear (Nick Shakoour)
• “Vera, get my lawyer.  We’re going to copyright that roar and make it a ring tone.” – Mr. Green

 Tips for parents:   

• The worse profanity you’ll hear is “crap”.
• Lemmings pee in a fish aquarium and on potted plants.
• Zzzzz….