The Seventh Son movie hits screens after a year of delays

Movie:  The Seventh Son

PG-13, 2 hours

Grade:  C+

In a Nutshell:   This heroic fantasy epic produced by Legendary Pictures hit movie theaters in France last month after almost a year’s worth of delays, but its United States release isn’t until February 6.  It feels like a mash-up of every underdog apprentice who fights dragons and witches story you’ve ever seen.   It’s fairly entertaining, but not truly memorable.

Uplifting Theme:

·         Loyalty vs. betrayal

·         If you dump your witch girlfriend, you’ll  have you-know-what to pay for later.

Things I liked:

·         There is a lot of morphing from various creatures into other creatures.

·         Oscar-nominated Julianne Moore spends most of her time in front of a green screen and is often overpowered by all the CGI going on around her as the powerful Mother Malkin.

·         There’s a nice little twist towards the end.  I love twists, although this one didn’t surprise me.

·         Much of the movie is filmed in front of a green screen, although there are some beautiful landscapes captured in British Columbia.

·         Some of the shape-shifting was cool.

·         There is some humor that allows the film to not take itself so seriously.

Things I didn’t like:

·         Jeff Bridges growls like a crusty, old pirate with a drunken accent that’s often indecipherable.  What’s with his billy-goat underbite? Now that I think about it, that’s about the only character he has played during the past several years.

·         The animal monsters look obviously computer generated.

·         The door is open for a sequel.  Do we want to see more of this?

·         Spoiler Alert: Soft-porn Game of Thrones fans will be sad to see their beloved Kit Harington not last long in this film.

Funny lines:

·         “I wonder what monsters dream about.”  - Tom Ward  (Ben Barnes)

“Probably humans.” – Alice

·          “Luck is fine.  Gold is finer.” – Master Gregory

·         “You must never have more than one sip of this a day.” – Master Gregory

“Why not?” – Tom Ward

“Because it is mine.” – Master Gregory

·         “Remember what I taught you?  Ignore it.” – Master Gregory

·         “You don’t die easy, do you?” – Master Gregory

·         “That is disgusting.  So, what does that kill?”  Tom Ward

“Cowardice.”  - Master Gregory

·         “You live in a world where legend and nightmares are real.” – Master Gregory

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Tips for Parents:

·         Intense fantasy violence, some frightening images, some strong language.

How to Train Your Dragon 2 sequel worth the wait

Movie Title:  How to Train Your Dragon 2

PG, 1 hour 45 minutes

Grade:  A-

In a Nutshell:  Everyone in the family will enjoy this adorable DreamWorks sequel by Dean DeBlois.  It impresses with FANTASTIC textures and surfaces: fur, leather, hair, metal, wrinkles on skin, dragon scales, tears, chin hairs, etc.  It’s simply amazing how far animation has come.  I didn’t even see it in 3D!

The narrator begins “With Vikings on the backs of dragons, the world just got a whole lot bigger.”  And so it is.  A good sequel builds upon the solid foundation of its original movie, adding new layers and fun surprises.  This movie does just that.  The audience has grown up since the 2010 original, and this sequel has too, developing a rich story that provides substance to the silliness.

Uplifting theme:  There is an environmental message about caring for animals against evil human predators.  Just so you know, no dragons were harmed in the making of this film. Family and forgiveness are also addressed, as well as courage and love.

Things I liked:

• There are several running gags that weave throughout the movie.  One features  Ruffnut, the Viking twin sister of Tuffnut, as she falls in love with Erit, a new Viking with bulging biceps.  She's not the least bit feminine and is always fighting with her twin brother, so to see her swoon is unexpected and delightful. She is voiced by the talented Kristen Wiig.  T.J. Miller voices her twin brother, who also plays the comic relief in the newest installment in the Transformers movie franchise, Transformers: Age of Extinction .    
  
• Another running gag features adorable sheep who are used for a dragon version of Harry Potter’s Quidditch.  Hilarious.
• I love movies that take time to provide random and humorous details.  Icicles on mustaches.  Freckles.  Beards braided with leather bows.
• I want a pair of Astrid’s cute, fuzzy boots.
• The many air scenes will seriously make you want to fly.
• “The Dancing and the Dreaming” song with lyrics by Shane MacGowan and music by Jon Thor Birgisson and John Powell is very sweet and feels like a believable song of Viking ancestry.
• I adore Cate Blanchett.  Other voice talents in the film are Jay Baruchel, Gerard Butler, America Ferrera, Jonah Hill, Craig Ferguson, and Kit Harington.
• Sure, the flick is fairly predictable, but it's still a fun ride.

Things I didn’t like:

• Who names their baby “Hiccup”?  A Viking, I guess.
• SPOILER ALERT:  As awesome as dragons are, I would never leave my baby boy to go live with dragons instead. 
• Drago.  Really?  They couldn’t think of a more creative name?

Did you know?

• Directors Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois were not the original directors, but were later hired to create a movie that would appeal to the rug rats AND their parents.
• Did you know these “Dragon” movies were inspired by a 2003 novel?  Astrid (played by America Ferrara) is a character created just for the movie, as she wasn’t even in the original novel.
• The character voice of “Toothless” was created by mixing sounds from horses, elephants, tigers, and even the voice of the Sound Designer, Randy Thom.
• A lot of the scenery is based on real places in Iceland and the Pacific Coast.

Interesting lines:

• “Men who kill without reason cannot be reasoned with.”  - Stoick
• “You have the heart of a chief and the soul of a dragon.”  - Valka

Funny lines:

• “Soil my britches!”  - Erit
• “Me likey!” – Ruffnut when she sees Erit for the first time.
• Ruffnut says “Erit was the man of my dreams.”  Gobber says “But Baby, I grew facial hair for you!”
• Astrid:  “That’s your mother?”

Hiccup: “Now you know where I get my dramatic flair!”

Tips for parents:  There is some fighting and a few scary dragons, but otherwise, even young children should enjoy watching this film.

For your family's collection:
 

The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug simmers

Movie Title: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack Special Edition  

Grade: B+

In a Nutshell:  Fill up your popcorn buckets early folks…this is a long movie. It feels good to be back in Middle Earth. According to the Associated Press, it looks like everyone was willing to spend Christmas with The Hobbit . The second part of The Hobbit trilogy won the weekend box office, bringing in $29.9 million over three days.  Tried and true fans of the Lord of the Rings have been supporting the Hobbit’s story, although most will admit this second trilogy isn’t quite as novel or spell-binding as the first.  (Terrible puns intended.)

Bilbo Baggins (the terrific Martin Freeman) continues his journey with thirteen Dwarves and Gandalf the Grey (beloved Ian McKellan) to reclaim the lost Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor within the grand mountain.  You can’t blame Director Peter Jackson for trying to cash in on a proven hit.  Did you know Pan’s Labryinth’s Guillermo del Toro was one of the writers?

Uplifting theme: Good vs. evil.  Light vs. darkness.  Courage vs. cowardice. In the first Hobbit movie, Bilbo was so frightened by the idea of a quest that he fainted.  With each progressing film, Bilbo develops heroic qualities and reveals hidden reserves of inner strength.  Mankind, and perhaps even WWI England, may be whom Tolkien wanted to inspire to greatness.  Epic literature often features swords with names to show the bravery of the holder, so it is fitting that as Bilbo’s courage grows, he names his short sword that killed the spiders “Sting.” 

Things I liked:  The dragon was amazing.  I loved how you could see the fire building beneath his throat and belly before he roared with flames.  Very cool.  It gives real meaning to their expression “the flames of war.” The barrel scene was whimsical and action-packed, albeit cheesy and not as polished as the rest of the CGI in the film.  You can see individual hairs blowing in the wind in the 3D version of the High Frame Rate.  At first, the 48 frames per second feels odd to the senses, but the quality is amazing.  I love the simmering Smaug played expertly by Benedict Cumberbatch. 

We learn another trick the ring can do: it allows Bilbo to understand what the giant spiders are saying.  Ick.  Fans of Lost will be happy to see Canadian beauty Evangeline Lilly take to the screen as Tauriel, one of the many new characters that don’t exist in J.R.R. Tolkien’s original book.

Things I didn’t like:  I tried to read The Hobbit when I was in college and shamefully admit I just couldn’t get into it.  While I loved The Lord of the Rings, there is something missing in this Hobbit trilogy.  It simmers just below being a really great movie. I confess that I was completely exhausted when I watched this film, so I don’t know if it was that or because the movie was dragging that caused me to doze off a time or two. 

What happened to sexy, playful Legolas?  He was angry and moody throughout the entire movie.  Poor Orlando Bloom.  Have you noticed that Orcs never walk, but are constantly running at a wicked pace?

Humans are always so greasy and dirty in these films, have you noticed?  The Master of Laketown’s assistant had some “ripe” zits that were incredibly disgusting to look at.  Gandolf’s only power (although effective) was to slam down his staff and bring evil-destroying light.  Other than that, he was fleeing on a horse or running…it would be nice if he could contribute more magic to get everyone out of their never-ending dangerous predicaments.

Funny lines:  

• “What is that?”  “Our host!”
• “Did he offer you a deal?”  “I did.  I told him he could #$%!#$.”  (We assume that’s some kind of profanity in Dwarf lingo.)

Insightful quotes:

• “When did we allow evil to become stronger than us?”  - Tauriel
• “Do not think that flattery will keep you alive.”   - Dragon
• “What have we done?”  - Bilbo
• “He cannot see beyond his own desire.”  - Bard the Bowman
• “Such is the nature of evil.  In time all foul things come forth.”  - Legolas

Things to look for: 

• The comical self-portrait and statue of Stephen Fry as Master of Laketown
• Speaking of Laketown…did you notice Stephen Colbert in the movie?!  He played a Laketown spy and was invited by Peter Jackson who declared him the king of Lord of the Ring geeks.  Rumor has it he may in the third installment as well.
• I know a guy in real life who looks just like the handsome Aidan Turner who plays Kili.  He’s an inspiring artist who makes super cool t-shirt designs at www.BeamingDownPeace.com   He’s in the 3^rd & 6^th photo on the “Us” page.  There’s a shout-out for ya Nick!
• Stunning black & white horses towards the beginning of the film
• Cool transformation scene when the “Skin Changer” turns into a human
• The Prancing Pony from Lord of the Rings at the beginning of the film
• Beautiful, long Elf locks.  Someone from Loreal needs to make an Elf a spokes model
• A quick peek at what a woman Dwarf and baby Dwarf look like in the photo inside the necklace.  Look fast!
• The rock that looks like Rodin’s famous “The Thinker” just outside a cave

Tips for parents:  Lots of fighting and some scary scenes with spiders, Orcs, fiery dragon, and other creepy creatures.

Fun products if you're a Tolkien fan:

The Lord of the Rings (50th Anniversary Edition)
Tolkien Calendar 2014, The hobbit
Lord Of The Rings Sting Sword Letter Opener