Jupiter Ascending is visually impressive with a messy script

Movie: Jupiter Ascending

PG-13, 2 hours 5 minutes

Grade: A- for visually amazing

              C- for story and dialogue

In a Nutshell:  Wow.  Talk about sensory overload.  The special effects are amaze balls. I went with some friends to see this in 3D at a Galaxy DFX theater which enhances the sound and offers those awesome reclining chairs.  One of the ladies I sat with said she had to close her eyes several times because she couldn’t take it all in.  I wonder if you get a free vomit bag with your ticket when you watch this in those Dbox motion chairs.

This fantasy adventure feels like a visit to the cantina scene in Star Wars with crazy aliens coming together to fight over power and the ownership of planet Earth.  One of the scenes looks like it actually could have been filmed on Star Wars’ Naboo. The script is messy, but the costumes, set design, make-up, and CGI are extremely creative and impressive, surely eating up most of the reported 175 million dollar budget.  The Wachowski brothers (one of them is now female) brought us the epic The Matrix magic, but have now created a story that mere earthlings can’t quite comprehend.  Even still, it’s an entertaining ride if you don’t mind the odd moments.

Uplifting Theme:

·         “It’s not what you do.  It’s what you are.” – Stinger Apini (Sean Bean)

·         What would you do with your time if you had an endless amount of it? What price would you be willing to pay to get more time?

·         There is an awkward exploration of capitalism, greed, and morality.

Things I liked:

·         If you like action, this movie includes the non-stop variety.

·         I LOVE LOVE the hover boots that make Channing Tatum look like he’s ice skating through air.  I hope I can buy a pair on Amazon soon.

·         Beautiful aerial views of Chicago.

·         There is a somewhat humorous attempt at explaining crop circles and dinosaurs.  I always wanted to know the scoop on those two things.  Now I know.

·         I loved the see-through floor on Balem Abrasax’s space ship.

·         I didn’t know Tuppence Middleton was so pretty when I first saw her in The Imitation Game.  Her character as Kalique Abrasax in Jupiter Ascending looked obviously fake in the beginning, so I was glad when we got to see her true beauty later on. 

·         There was so much to see that I would like to study some of the images frame by frame.

·         The gay robotic bureaucrat scene was odd, disturbing and funny at the same time.

Things I didn’t like:

·         Mila Kunis plays Jupiter Jones who falls in love with Caine in less than 30 seconds.  It’s embarrassing how quickly she throws herself at him.  Caine, by the way, is played by a blonde Channing Tatum.  He goes shirtless for a longer than necessary and the blonde scruff makes you wince just a little bit.  Two good-looking people should create sparks, but their romantic dialogue falls flat.

·         One of the guys I watched the movie with noted that the musical score by Michael Giacchino was too overpowering.  That could have been because we were in a sound-enhanced screening, so it’s hard to know if others will experience the same effect.

·         There were some attempts at humor, but not nearly enough successful ones.  Want to see a sci-fi fantasy flick that will make you laugh out loud a LOT?   Guardians of the Galaxy!

·         Mila Kunis’emotional range as Jupiter Jones is pretty small in this movie. Even after her entire world is shaken, all she can muster is a “Holy Crap.”  Years ago I took a jungle tour of St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands.  The tour guide’s name was Jupiter.  He explained to us that it was because he was so “far out.”

·         I adored Eddie Redmayne in The Theory of Everything and hope he wins an Oscar to go with his Golden Globe for it, but his performance in this film was odd and vacillates between monotone whispers and screaming, with nothing in between.

·         The elephant man alien appears out of place in what should be serious dramatic moments.

·         SPOILER ALERT: There is an icky Soylent Green moment.

·         Why were there so many bald women in this movie?

·         There is so much going on in the action sequences that it’s often hard to figure out exactly what’s going on.

Interesting lines:

·         “Technically speaking, I’m an alien, and from an immigration perspective, I’m an illegal one.” – Jupiter

·         “Off the record, I will tell you that you are a man of rare courage and I pray that your aim is true.” – Diomika Tsing (Nikki Amuka-Bird)

Lines that make you sneer:

·         “Men do not like smart women.” – Jupiter’s uncle

·         “My mom says true love is just a fairy tale for little girls.” – Jupiter

·         “I will never complain about the DMV again.” – Jupiter

·         “I am not your mother.” – Jupiter

“No, my mother never cleaned a toilet in her life.” – Balem Abrasax

Tips for Parents:

·         Some profanity, but no F-bombs.

·         You see the naked backside of a female and male in two different scenes, as well as a girl in her tiny underwear.  (She has amazing abs.)

·         There is a short orgy scene, but you don’t see details, other than faces.

·         There are sexual innuendos, lots of violence (some bloody), and evil motives.

Interstellar is out of this world

Movie Title:   Interstellar

PG-13, 2 hours 49 minutes

Grade:  A

In a Nutshell:   This movie will blow your mind.  Either that or put you to sleep.  Viewers seem to be split in their opinion on this one.  The movie is definitely long, but you’ll feel like you got your money’s worth.

Writer-director Chris Nolan has trained us to expect epic movies under his watch and this one is no exception.  Like his enigmatic Inception , you’ll have to watch it a couple of times to completely understand it. This nearly 3 hour drama is so long that you almost feel like you’ve traveled in space and come back again by the time it’s over.  Its time-space continuum preaches of love, hope, and the will to go on despite all obstacles, including gravity.

I sat with an audience that filled every seat in the IMAX screening, where Nolan’s 70mm movie magic really shines and where the seats practically rumbled while we hurled through space.  The movie simultaneously explores your heart strings and intergalactic space travel.

Uplifting theme: 

• Matthew McConaughey narrates the beginning of the movie, saying “We used to look up at the sky and wonder at our place in the stars.  Now we just look down and worry about our place in the dirt.”  The movie explores a dystopian world   and where mankind may go in the future, both physically and emotionally.
• Some will read spirituality into the story and see God’s hand in the journey, while others will applaud mankind’s strength to take care of ourselves.

Things I liked:

• Hans Zimmer’s new score is fantastic.
• I agree with Matthew McConaughey who said in a recent interview, “This is Christopher Nolan’s most ambitious work.”
• I love Anne Hathaway.  She always brightens any screen.  So does Matt Damon.
• You’ll learn a science lesson or two while being entertained.  Theoretical physicist Kip Thorne was consulted during the making of the film.
• A nod to 2001: A Space Odyssey was included by director/producer Nolan who wrote the screenplay with his brother Jonathan.
• The visual effects are stunning.  I liked seeing the tiniest reflection in someone's eyes through another's eye, and then the contrasting, grand aerial scenes over earth.
• It’s definitely thought-provoking and a great conversation-starter.
• I thought Amelia’s speech about love was profound and beautiful.
• The frozen cloud was cool.  Literally.  Ha ha
• I love symbolism in clever names, such as the project “Lazarus.”
• Mackenzie Foy is an adorable Murphy.  Jessica Chastain was a beautiful adult Murph.  Nice casting.

Things I didn’t like:

• It’s a bit slow-moving at times.  A friend of mine actually fell asleep.  Don’t expect a fast-paced action movie like Star Trek.
• Some of the script seems nonsensical.  Some of it was simply hard to hear.
• The black, sticky, towering thing that sucked up everything reminded me of the odd ending in the movie Lucy.

Interesting lines:

• “Love is the one thing that transcends time and space.” – Amelia Brand
• “We’ve always defined ourselves by the ability to overcome the impossible.  And we count these moments.  These moments when we dare to aim higher, to break barriers, to reach for the stars, to make the unknown known.  We count these moments as our proudest achievements.  But we lost all that.  Or perhaps we’ve just forgotten that we are still pioneers.  And we’ve barely begun.  And that our greatest accomplishments cannot be behind us, because our destiny lies above us.”  - Cooper
• “Do not go gently into that good night; old age should burn and rave at close of day.  Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” – Professor Brand
• “It’s not possible.”  - computer/TARS

“No.  It’s necessary.”  - Cooper

• “We’re not meant to save the world; we’re meant to leave it.”  - Professor Brand
• “Mankind was born on earth, but it wasn’t meant to die here.” – Cooper
• “You said science was admitting what you don’t know.”  - Young Murphy to her dad
• “They forget who we are – explorers, pioneers, not caretakers.”  - Cooper

Funny lines:

• “You look sic.”  - young Tom

“I cannot be sick.  I am a robot.”  - computer/TARS

• “We’re going to be spending a lot of time together.” – Amelia

“Then, we should learn to talk.”  - Cooper

“And when not to.”  - Amelia

• “We’ve calculated 2 years to Saturn.”  - Professor Brand

“That’s a lot of Dramamine.” – Doyle    (I actually got a little dizzy during some of the spinning scenes and had to look away.)

Tips for parents:

• 1 F-bomb and some other tough language.
• Young children may get bored.
• Kids who want to prove to their parents that all that time playing video games and using a joystick will come in handy now have ammunition for their case.

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