How to Be A Latin Lover is offensive, and I'm not even Latina

Movie Title:  How To Be A Latin Lover

Grade:  C

Rating:  PG-13, 115 minutes

In a Nutshell: Welcome to the multi-cultural talent of Eugenio Derbez.  He’s one of the most successful actor/comedians in Mexico.  You may have seen him in a various Adam Sandler projects before, but you’re about to see more of him…a LOT of him in this movie (he takes his close off often), but in upcoming movies too.

Nah, I wasn't seduced.  It was too filthy to be fun.

Uplifting theme: 

• “It’s never too late to do what’s right.” – Cindy (Kristen Bell)
• Family, true love, friendship
• There are things more important than money.
• "You get what you work for, not what you wish for." - Sara

Things I liked:

• Raphael Alejandro is a jackpot discovery in this film.  He’s absolutely adorable and has a bright future in Hollywood if he wants one.  Those dimples!
• The lovely Salma Hayek plays Maximo’s sister and a struggling single mother. 
• You get to hear Kristen Bell sing.  She was wonderful in Frozen (2013).
• Small parts go to familiar faces you know and like, all named Rob: Rob Lowe, Rob Corddry, Rob Riggle, Rob Huebel. 
• Usually Rob Lowe plays the handsome, rich guy, right?  It was nice to see him be a pizza driver and broke for a change.
• Maximo wakes up on the flat air mattress.  I hate those things!  That’s happened to me before.
• When Sara (Salma Hayek) gets depressed, she turns a sad song into an energetic salsa.  Great idea!
• Cute balloons at Arden (Mckenna Grace) ’s birthday party!
• Raquel Welch has aged, but is still a timeless beauty.
• There’s an authentic, although clichéd Latin vibe in the movie.  Salma Hayek and Eugenio Derbez speak Spanish a lot, so there are a lot of subtitles.

Things I didn’t like:

• If I were Latina, I’d probably be doubly offended.
• A LOT of crude gestures and lines.
• Do you know anyone who has actually earned money by having their car wrapped?  I called a few companies once and it was a real bait-and-switch.  Drats.
• Maximo gives such terrible advice to Hugo.  He’s a terrible role model in oh so many ways.
• There’s an odd moment with Weird Al Yankovic.

Funny lines:

• “I didn’t know we could do that!” – Hugo after he watches his uncle pour cereal from the box directly into his mouth.

“We can’t!” – Sara

• “She doesn’t even know I exist.” – Hugo

“Why do you say that?” – Maximo

“Because she’s a girl…and she’s beautiful.” – Hugo

• “I was named after my grandfather’s dog.” – Quincy (Rob Corddry)

“The legacy lives on.” – Maximo

• “She’s been through too much emotionally…and surgically to put up with this.” – Quincy
• “You guys are getting real creative with these gummy bears.  Most people just eat them.” – Cindy
• “What is a virgin?” – Hugo

“It’s an airline.” –Maximo

“Pull my finger……false alarm.” – Maximo

• “You sound like Dora the Explorer” – Maximo to Rob Lowe when he tries to speak with a Spanish accent
• “I don’t need a Rolex, bro!” – Nick (Rob Huebel) as he points to his FitBit.

Interesting lines:

• “Cokes have no nutritional value.” – Hugo   True.
• “Do I have something on my face?” – Arden

“You have my full attention.” – Hugo

Tips for parents: 

• The title reveals that this is really not a family-friendly movie.  The protagonist is a gigolo, so that should tell you something.
• Lots of profanity and F-bombs.
• TONS of crude, raunchy humor.
• This should be an R-rated movie.
• There is a lot of smacking people on the head.  I hate that.
• Tons of crotch shots and butt grabs.

MOVIE REVIEW MOM

@trinaboice 

McFarland USA will warm your heart and inspire your feet

Movie:  McFarland, USA

PG, 2 hours 9 minutes

Grade: A

In a Nutshell: While this underdog story isn’t unique, the newest Disney film has a lot of heart and shows how to do the proven formula for inspiring sports films right.  Like the sign says that the town’s kids hold up to cheer on the cross country team, “McFarland es mas macho.”  I especially love inspiring movies about true stories when, at the end, they show the real people the film was based on and where they are today.

Hollywood cranks out movies about football and baseball, but rarely do you see high school cross country featured. My two oldest sons ran cross country when they were in high school in San Diego.  I remember cheering them on and eagerly waiting for the judges to score the races and announce the winners.  It’s an admirable sport whose athletes impress me with their tenacity and calm endurance.  You’ll be even more in awe when you see what this coach and team were able to accomplish in real life.

Maybe I was in a sentimental mood, but I got teary-eyed several times in this movie.  If you don't feel anything during this movie, you need to run until you cry.

Uplifting Theme:

·       You’ll be introduced to the small town of McFarland, USA , “the fruit bowl of California” and you’ll look at the plentiful produce in your grocery store differently.  Hopefully, you’ll look at Mexican Americans, especially “pickers”, in a different way too.

·        Like all good sports movies, this one includes lessons on sportsmanship, dedication, humility, hard work, persistence, and vision.

Things I liked:

·         Kevin Costner seemed to disappear from the big screen for awhile, but now he’s starring in two movies currently playing in theaters: McFarland USA and Black or White.  He does a great job in both.

·         I always appreciate the details in movies.  This movie painted a broad brushstroke of Mexican American cliches, while also providing details like yard chickens, tortas,  quinceanera parades, and dusty car windows to give you more of a flavor of the culture and town.

·         The Star Spangled Banner montage reminded me that America is the home of the brave and how truly brave those who leave their own countries to work this land are.  

      The boys on the team are charismatic, which makes for a good story, but the fact that they are real people is awesome.

               

Things I didn’t like:

·         While I love Maria Bello’s biceps, she looks pretty beat up in this film.  Maybe that was intentional?

       The script doesn't address illegal migrant workers. 

Funny lines:

·         “Nobody can hold a grudge like a teenage girl.” – Cheryl White (Maria Bello)

·         “Nice shorts dude.” – cocky runner on a different team, making fun of the McFarland team outfit

“You play golf?” – Thomas Valles (Carlos Pratts)

“Yeah.” – cocky runner

“This ain’t golf.” – Thomas smirks as he runs ahead of the other player

·         “You go slow, right?” – Jim White (Kevin Costner) to Javi (Rigo Sanchez) who is driving his daughter in a Quinciniera parade

“”It’s the only way to we go…low and slow” - Javi

·         “We certainly don’t want a fire in this place.  It could cost tens of dollars in damage.” – McFarland High School janitor

·         “Where’s Danny?  He’s slower than 911 to a Mexican’s house.” – Jose Cardenas (Johnny Ortiz)

·         “You think I’m picking on you, Diaz?  Go faster and I’ll pick on someone else.” – Coach White

·         “Congrats, White. They’re treating you like a picker.” - Johnny Sameniego (Hector Duran)

Inspiring lines:

·         “We don’t practice to lose.” – David Diaz (Rafael Martinez)

·         “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight.  It’s the size of the fight in the dog.” – Johnny 

“It depends on the dog.” – Coach White

“Now we know what we didn’t  know.  Let’s hit it again.” - Coach White

Tips for Parents:  This movie can provide a great opportunity to talk to your kids about sports, determination, cultural differences, prejudices, expectations, bullying, and working hard.

Other inspiring Disney sports movies I think you'll enjoy!