Assassin's Creed disappoints

Movie Title:  Assassin's Creed

Grade:  D

Rating: PG-13, 116 minutes

In a Nutshell: I’ve never played this popular video game, but I was excited to see it, because my 4 sons have played it and the movie partly takes place in Spain, where I lived for 2 years.  

This action film features actors I really like: Academy Award nominee Michael Fassbender, Academy Award winner Marion Cotillard, and Academy Award winner Jeremy Irons.  With such a pedigreed cast, you would think this would be an incredible movie.  Alas, it falls short, like most video game movies.

Uplifting theme: 

• Interesting question: Are people born with a predisposition to violence?  What do YOU think?
• “People no longer care about their civil liberties; they care about their standard of life.” – Ellen Kaye (Charlotte Rampling)    Sadly, I think that’s true.
• Free will, choices, good vs. evil.

Things I liked:

• The look of the movie feels like the video game.
• There is a lot of impressive Parkour action, although some of it looks fake.  The stunt work was really great.
• It's imaginative and could have been really good.
• 
  
• Things I didn’t like:

• Cal Lynch only goes into the past three times, which is lame because that’s what people are going to the theater to see, not the boring present.
• There were some scenes with a lot of annoying drum beats.
• There were a lot of dust storms that got in the way of the audience being able to see the Spanish landscape and what was happening, especially in the beginning.
• There is a lot of mumbling, making it hard to understand what everyone says.
• How exactly is that elusive Apple of Eden supposed to control free will?  And the way to cure violence and anger in the world is by killing a bunch of people?  What the…?
• The plot is pretty nonsensical and confusing with frustrating story choices.
• The movie ends with a dangling thread to set up a sequel that most people probably won’t watch.
• The editing is super frustrating, because it keeps cutting to different angles really quickly and you don’t get to enjoy the action as much.

Interesting lines:

• “Why the aggression?” – Sofia

“I’m an aggressive person.” – Cal Lynch

• “You turn to violence.  I turn to science.” – Sofia
• “Love makes us weak.” – Maria (Arieane Labed)  Do you agree with that statement?
• “Tell my father I’ll see him in hell.” – Cal
• “What do you want from me?” – Cal

“Your past.” – Sofia

• “We work in the dark to serve the light.  We are assassins.” – Cal Lynch
• “We’ve been looking for solutions. You’ve eliminated the problem.” – Rikkin

Funny lines:

• “Violence is a disease, like Cancer.” – Sofia

“Violence is what kept me alive.” – Cal

“Well, technically, you’re dead.” – Sofia

• “You’re going to lead them right to it.” – Nathan (Callum Turner)

“No, I’m going to eat it.” – Cal

• “I’m here to be cured of violence.  Who’s going to cure you?” - Cal

Tips for parents: 

• You see people being burned at the stake during the Spanish Inquisition, although the shapes aren't outlined very clearly.
• Lots and lots of fighting, stabbing, and other violence.
• There are subtitles that move pretty fast. 
• The video is rated for Mature audiences, intended for ages 17 and up.  That alone might help you decide if you want your kids to watch this.
• 1 F-bomb

@trinaboice 

Allied feels like a film noir spy romance

Movie Title:  Allied

Grade:  B

Rating:  R, 124 minutes

In a Nutshell: World War II offers the perfect backdrop for a romantic spy adventure, featuring two good looking actors who fall in love.  It has a cat and mouse, film Noir feel to it that makes it look old-fashioned and will remind you of some of the scenes from the classic movie Casablanca.

Uplifting theme: 

• Duty, love, honesty, patriotism, loyalty.

Things I liked:

• Brad Pitt speaks French and looks cool in every scene.
• Marion Cotillard is mesmerizing as Marianne Beausejour.  She really looks and sounds like she stepped out of the 1940's.  She hits the big screen again in a couple of weeks in the movie "Assassin's Creed."
• The CGI blends really well with real-life shots.
• There is a funny scene when Brad Pitt shuffles playing cards.  Marianne later says, “So, it’s in the cards for our chance to make history.”
• This is more romance than spy thriller.

Things I didn’t like:

• It’s a bit slow moving.
• The last time Brad Pitt was in a spy movie, he got a divorce.  Just sayin…
• There are a lot of subtitles, although sometimes French is spoken without subtitles so you have to guess at what is being said. According to the Duolingo app, I'm 11% fluent in French.  So there's that.  ha ha
• A guy throws up.  Ick.
• Some scenes could have been trimmed a bit to be more effective.
• There could have been more spy stuff. 

Interesting lines:

• “Who are you thinking about?” – Max

“My mother.” – scared soldier

“Don’t.  Think of your father.  He’s proud of you.” – Max 

Funny lines:

• “Salute me, first!” - George

“Go to hell.”  - Max Vatan

 This IS hell. It’s an office.” – George

Tips for parents: 

• You see the side of a naked Marion Cotillard and Brad Pitt’s rear end.
• A lot of F-bombs.
• It’s starts to get hot and heavy in a car, as well as in a bed.
• There are a lot of subtitles to read.
• Lesbians kiss.
• Shooting, violence, suicide.