Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Assassin's Creed disappoints

Movie Title:  Assassin's Creed

Grade:  D

Rating: PG-13, 116 minutes

In a Nutshell: I’ve never played this popular video game, but I was excited to see it, because my 4 sons have played it and the movie partly takes place in Spain, where I lived for 2 years.  

This action film features actors I really like: Academy Award nominee Michael Fassbender, Academy Award winner Marion Cotillard, and Academy Award winner Jeremy Irons.  With such a pedigreed cast, you would think this would be an incredible movie.  Alas, it falls short, like most video game movies.

Uplifting theme: 
  • Interesting question: Are people born with a predisposition to violence?  What do YOU think?
  • “People no longer care about their civil liberties; they care about their standard of life.” – Ellen Kaye (Charlotte Rampling)    Sadly, I think that’s true.
  • Free will, choices, good vs. evil.

Things I liked:
  • The look of the movie feels like the video game.
  • There is a lot of impressive Parkour action, although some of it looks fake.  The stunt work was really great.
  • It's imaginative and could have been really good.

  • Things I didn’t like:
  • Cal Lynch only goes into the past three times, which is lame because that’s what people are going to the theater to see, not the boring present.
  • There were some scenes with a lot of annoying drum beats.
  • There were a lot of dust storms that got in the way of the audience being able to see the Spanish landscape and what was happening, especially in the beginning.
  • There is a lot of mumbling, making it hard to understand what everyone says.
  • How exactly is that elusive Apple of Eden supposed to control free will?  And the way to cure violence and anger in the world is by killing a bunch of people?  What the…?
  • The plot is pretty nonsensical and confusing with frustrating story choices.
  • The movie ends with a dangling thread to set up a sequel that most people probably won’t watch.
  • The editing is super frustrating, because it keeps cutting to different angles really quickly and you don’t get to enjoy the action as much.

Interesting lines:
  • “Why the aggression?” – Sofia
“I’m an aggressive person.” – Cal Lynch

  • “You turn to violence.  I turn to science.” – Sofia
  • “Love makes us weak.” – Maria (Arieane Labed)  Do you agree with that statement?
  • “Tell my father I’ll see him in hell.” – Cal
  • “What do you want from me?” – Cal
“Your past.” – Sofia
  • “We work in the dark to serve the light.  We are assassins.” – Cal Lynch
  • “We’ve been looking for solutions. You’ve eliminated the problem.” – Rikkin

Funny lines:
  • “Violence is a disease, like Cancer.” – Sofia
“Violence is what kept me alive.” – Cal
“Well, technically, you’re dead.” – Sofia
  • “You’re going to lead them right to it.” – Nathan (Callum Turner)
“No, I’m going to eat it.” – Cal

  • “I’m here to be cured of violence.  Who’s going to cure you?” - Cal
Tips for parents: 
  • You see people being burned at the stake during the Spanish Inquisition, although the shapes aren't outlined very clearly.
  • Lots and lots of fighting, stabbing, and other violence.
  • There are subtitles that move pretty fast. 
  • The video is rated for Mature audiences, intended for ages 17 and up.  That alone might help you decide if you want your kids to watch this.
  • 1 F-bomb

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