Do we really need another Terminator movie?

Movie:    Terminator Genisys

PG-13, 1 hour 59 minutes

Grade:    B-

In a Nutshell:   Fun for The Terminator fans, but not necessary for others.   I mean, do we really need a reboot of this James Cameron franchise?  This is supposedly the first of a new trilogy.  Yikes.   Don’t get me wrong…I really like The Terminator movies.

My biggest gripe about this film is that I just don’t care anymore.  It’s hard to feel invested in a story that will probably be redone AGAIN in another sequel or prequel.  I just didn’t care if any of the characters lived or died, because I knew that a future movie might completely reverse what happened in this film anyway. 

There is a lot of time traveling that will make your brain begin to hurt if you try to figure it all out.   It’s not exactly logical, but it’s sure going to make the studio a lot of money….because, as Arnold says…”I’ll be back”.

Good for Arnold Schwarzenegger for keeping his acting career going.   We all love to watch him kick bady-guy butt.   (Forget he told us he was going to retire.)  As his character, Terminator/”Pops” says in the movie, “I’m old, not obsolete.”

Uplifting Theme:

·         “There is no fate, but that which we make for ourselves.” – John Connor (Jason Clarke)

·         “Straight line.  You just go and you don’t look back.” – Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney) , Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke)

·         “One thing we know for sure…the future is not set.” - Kyle

Things I liked:

·         The best moment in the movie for me was watching the young Arnold Schwarzenegger fight the old one.   Epic.

·         I loved traveling back to 1984 with punk rock hair do’s and Velcro-strapped shoes.

·         They poke fun at 2017 Americans who can’t live without their cell phones.  True.

·         The script explains away Arnold Schwarzenegger’s older look by saying that the machine has human skin over it, which ages.  Oh, ok.  That works for me.  It’s a good thing Arnold doesn’t have to do much running; The Terminator always walks slow and determined.

·         The jail scene is hilarious.  Bad boys, bad boys!

·         J.K. Simmons (Detective O’Brien) is such a likeable guy. 

·         Lots of action scenes.  Lots.

Things I didn’t like:

·         This Sarah Connor (played by Emilia Clarke) is cranky and barks at everyone during the entire movie, allowing very little time for us to like her.  She’s not vulnerable and endearing like Linda Hamilton in the original The Terminator

·         The T-1000 liquid metal, shape-shifting terminators are extremely cool, but it’s not anything we haven’t seen already before.

·         If you haven’t seen the original, you won’t appreciate the nuances of how the story has veered off in different directions.

      It's so hokey when they change the spelling of a word to make it seem cooler.  (Genesis)

Funny lines:

·         “Bite me!” – Sarah

“That is a very immature response.”  - Terminator/”Pops”

·         “We have approximately 35 seconds.” – Terminator/”Pops”

A bad guy crashes through a window and the Terminator says “One less.”

·         “Can you stop him talking like that?  Is there a switch or something?” –  Kyle  (referring not only to the Terminator’s content, but Austrian accent)  ha ha

·         “We’re not even sure he speaks English.” – random cop in the jail scene   (another funny poke at Arnold’s Austrian accent)

·         “We’re here to stop the end of the world!” – Sarah Connor

“I can work with that.” –  Detective O’Brien

·         “I read about this on GunsandAmmo.com” – The Terminator/”Pops”.   Hilarious.  It’s a real web site.

·         “I thought you were dead.” – Sarah

“No, just upgraded.” – The Terminator/”Pops”

Overly dramatic lines:

·         “We take it tonight or there is no tomorrow.” – John Connor

·         “Come with me if you want to live!  Now, soldier!” – Sarah Connor

·         “We’re exiles in time.” – Reese

·         “You are nothing but a relic from a deleted time line.” – John Connor

Tips for Parents:

·         Like in the other The Terminator movies, you see Arnold Schwarzenegger naked (from the rear) as he transports through the time traveling machine.  A few other people travel through it naked as well, but you don’t see too much.

·         1 F-bomb

·         “Mild” profanity, intense fighting.

       Some of the terminator skeleton robots may be too scary for young children.

Need to catch up on the films in this futuristic franchise?

Maggie isn't your typical zombie movie

Movie:   Maggie

PG-13, 1 hour 35 minutes

Grade:  C

In a Nutshell:   Arnold Schwarzenegger kicking zombie butt….what’s not to like?  Well, it’s not as exciting as that sounds.  In fact, there aren’t very many actual zombies in this post-apocalyptic movie. Instead, the film focuses on what it would be like to watch a loved one slowly “turn”…..slowly being the key word here.  In this version of the popular zombie genre, it takes 4-6 weeks to turn after a bite. The movie is so slow-moving that it might feel like 4-6 weeks.

That being said, there are some poignant moments that make you wonder how you might act in similar situations.
  

Uplifting Theme:

·         Blood is thick, but zombie juices are thicker.  Ha ha

·        Life is made up of moments and memories.

Things I liked:

·        Good on first-time director Henry Hobson for snagging some Hollywood names like Schwarzenegger, Abigail Breslin, and Joely Richardson.

·         Is it terrible to admit I kind of enjoyed watching Maggie’s slow decay into a zombiehood?  The special effects were pretty good.

Things I didn’t like:

·         Not nearly enough zombies.  Have I been watching too much The Walking Dead: Season 1 ?
      There are some really stupid, selfish decisions made that put others at risk.  For example, Maggie’s finger starts to fall off and she drips blood all over the family’s food on the kitchen counter.  Nice, Maggie.

·         A lot of the scenes are really dark, so it’s often hard to see what’s going on.

·         I’ve always really liked Joely Richardson, but her fake Southern accent was unnecessary.

·         The pacing is so slow that there is plenty of time to run to the bathroom without missing anything.  Wait, maybe I should put this point under the "Things I Liked" section...

I was hoping for a bigger payoff...a bigger ending.  Then again, it perfectly matched the tone of the movie.

Tips for Parents:

·         Some profanity.  
*    Some deaths, but not much considering there are zombies around.

Here's another zombie movie that is different from the cliched monster thrillers:

Expendables 3 more of the same macho mahem

Movie Title:    The Expendables 3

PG-13, 1 hour 43 minutes

In theaters August 15, 2014

Grade: B-

In a Nutshell:   

There is no shortage of testosterone, nor bad guys to fight here, folks.  If you’ve seen the first two movies in the Expendables franchise, then you already know that the muscles, weapons and egos are all very, very large.

What makes this movie notable is that it’s rated PG-13, quite a feat since the first two installments were rated R.  The cast of macho men includes Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Terry Crews, Wesley Snipes, Antonio Banderas, Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Kelsey Grammer, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Dolph Lundren…what’s not to like?  Yeah, most of them are getting pretty old now, but they still know how to blow things up and kick you-know-what like nobody else.

Of course, the film isn’t complete without a few “Yeehaw”s and “That’s gotta hurt” lines during fight scenes.  Not heavy on a plot, this is all about the action, fight scenes, and seeing all of our favorite tough guys together.

Uplifting theme: 

• Family isn’t just the people you’re born to.

Things I liked:

• The camera zooms in on the angry eyes of team leader Sylvester Stallone, announcing to the audience that the real battle has just begun.  Classic.
• Antonio Banderas’ character, Galgo, is hilarious.
• True to real life, Sylvester Stalone’s character says to Arnold Schwartzeneggar’s character “I thought you retired.”  Arnold’s character says “I lied.”

Things I didn’t like:

• SPOILER ALERT:  Terry Crews' character gets wounded early in the movie, so don’t count on any of his classic dance moves with bouncing pecs.  Dang it.  His dancing (and singing too!) was hilariously creepy in the recent movie Blended.  Check out my movie review of Blended here.
• Harrison Ford is given the honors of dropping the only F-bomb in the movie.  Dang it.  I don't want to hear that coming out of his mouth.  (Yeah, my delicate ears make me a real prude.) 

Funny lines:

• “Relax.  You’ll give yourself a stroke.” – Harrison Ford to Sylvester
• “I could do that.”  - Sylvester says…a lot.
• “Is that the Big Dipper?  Yeah, we gotta turn around.” – Kelsey Grammer
• “You’re only old when you surrender.”  - Antonio Banderas
• “I need a job.  All I know how to do is killing people…and I do that very well.”  -  Antonio Banderas
• “If you wanted to fight, why didn’t you just get married?”  - Sylvester
• “Hurry up.  It’s boring.”  - Arnold Schwarzenegger
• “They put their noses in business where they didn’t belong and now they’re The Deletables.” – Mel Gibson
• “It’s hard to beat an enemy that’s living inside your head.” – Mel Gibson
• “Would you like to hold my gun?  Vamanos, chica.” – Antonio Banderas

Tips for parents:   Lots of profanity and violence…what did you expect from a movie packed with macho men?