Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Expendables 3 more of the same macho mahem

Movie Title:    The Expendables 3
PG-13, 1 hour 43 minutes
In theaters August 15, 2014

Grade: B-

In a Nutshell:   
There is no shortage of testosterone, nor bad guys to fight here, folks.  If you’ve seen the first two movies in the Expendables franchise, then you already know that the muscles, weapons and egos are all very, very large.

What makes this movie notable is that it’s rated PG-13, quite a feat since the first two installments were rated R.  The cast of macho men includes Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Terry Crews, Wesley Snipes, Antonio Banderas, Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Kelsey Grammer, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Dolph Lundren…what’s not to like?  Yeah, most of them are getting pretty old now, but they still know how to blow things up and kick you-know-what like nobody else.

Of course, the film isn’t complete without a few “Yeehaw”s and “That’s gotta hurt” lines during fight scenes.  Not heavy on a plot, this is all about the action, fight scenes, and seeing all of our favorite tough guys together.

Uplifting theme: 
  • Family isn’t just the people you’re born to.
Things I liked:
  • The camera zooms in on the angry eyes of team leader Sylvester Stallone, announcing to the audience that the real battle has just begun.  Classic.
  • Antonio Banderas’ character, Galgo, is hilarious.
  • True to real life, Sylvester Stalone’s character says to Arnold Schwartzeneggar’s character “I thought you retired.”  Arnold’s character says “I lied.”
Things I didn’t like:
  • SPOILER ALERT:  Terry Crews' character gets wounded early in the movie, so don’t count on any of his classic dance moves with bouncing pecs.  Dang it.  His dancing (and singing too!) was hilariously creepy in the recent movie Blended.  Check out my movie review of Blended here.
  • Harrison Ford is given the honors of dropping the only F-bomb in the movie.  Dang it.  I don't want to hear that coming out of his mouth.  (Yeah, my delicate ears make me a real prude.) 
Funny lines:
  • “Relax.  You’ll give yourself a stroke.” – Harrison Ford to Sylvester
  • “I could do that.”  - Sylvester says…a lot.
  • “Is that the Big Dipper?  Yeah, we gotta turn around.” – Kelsey Grammer
  • “You’re only old when you surrender.”  - Antonio Banderas
  • “I need a job.  All I know how to do is killing people…and I do that very well.”  -  Antonio Banderas
  • “If you wanted to fight, why didn’t you just get married?”  - Sylvester
  • “Hurry up.  It’s boring.”  - Arnold Schwarzenegger
  • “They put their noses in business where they didn’t belong and now they’re The Deletables.” – Mel Gibson
  • “It’s hard to beat an enemy that’s living inside your head.” – Mel Gibson
  • “Would you like to hold my gun?  Vamanos, chica.” – Antonio Banderas
Tips for parents:   Lots of profanity and violence…what did you expect from a movie packed with macho men?

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