The Fate of the Furious is fast fun for true fans

Movie Title:  The Fate of the Furious

Grade:  B

Rating:  PG-13, 136 minutes

In a Nutshell:  It’s fast.  It’s furious.  The franchise is back.  

I was kind of over the whole The Fast and the Furious saga until…Charlize Theron.  I’ve always thought she was so gorgeous ever since I first saw her in Mighty Joe Young. I was curious how she was going to turn Dom away from his family in this movie's plot.   

Everything about this movie is high octane and ridiculously over-the-top, just the way fans of this franchise like it.  If you’re a fan, you’ll get a kick out of this new addition.  No, it's not going to win any Oscar's, but it's pretty good fun.

Uplifting theme: 

• “You make a deal, you gotta live up to it.” – Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel)
• Family
• Obligation, accountability, respect

Things I liked:

• The chemistry of this “family” is undeniable.  This installment features Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, Jordana Brewster, Kurt Russell, Elsa Pataky, Nathalie Emmanuel, and Scott Eastwood.
• The cast's quick one-liners and jabs at each other are entertaining as always.
• You get to take a little trip to Havana, Cuba in the beginning of the movie.
• So funny watching The Rock do the fierce Hakka dance with a bunch of little soccer girls.
• Helen Mirren just made the franchise better.  Rumor has it that she lobbied for a role in the movie because she loves racing so much.  I love her in everything she does.
• It’s fun to watch Scott Eastwood’s career unfold.  You know he’s the legendary Clint Eastwood’s son, right? 
• Tough bald guy banter.  Ha ha
• The set pieces are as gigantic as Dwayne Johnson’s biceps.  
• The stunts are OFF THE CHAIN!
• SPOILER: I never really thought about how self-driving cars could be hacked into to create havoc.  Interesting, right?  There’s an awesomely fun and destructive scene with a bunch of them on New York City streets.
• Some of the action sequences are soooooo impressively long.
• I think it's funny that Kurt Russell's character name is "Mr. Nobody."  His assistant, played by Scott Eastwood, is called "Little Nobody."
• Jason Statham has some absolutely great moments with The Rock, Helen Mirren, and a little baby.  

Things I didn’t like:

• Lots of butt cheeks and scantily clad women.
• Some of the characters talk about being free, with no obligations to anyone, as if that’s the ultimate form of happiness.  Thankfully, the ultimate theme of the movie is that it’s family that gives life meaning.
• The plot is extremely predictable.  There is nothing super surprising about how the story is going to play out, but the ride is pretty doggone fun.
• So many things are just so unrealistic that if you require that in a movie, you'll hate every minute of this.

Funny lines:

• “I will beat you like a Cherokee drum.” – Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson whose arms are ridiculously massive while he holds them up during this line.)
• “We’re gonna need a bigger truck.” – Hobbs
• “Your team is about to go up against the one thing they can’t handle.” – Cipher (Charlize Theron)

“What’s that?” – Dom 

“You.” –  Cipher

• “Manis and pedis later on at the mall.” – Hobbs
• “It’s neon orange.  The U.S. space station could see it coming.” – Little Nobody (Scott Eastwood)
• “Ouch.” – Cipher
• “What’s it gonna be, Rook?  Are you gonna close your eyes on this one too?  Pray that the Apocalypse doesn’t come knocking on your mama’s front door? Or are you gonna saddle up and be a man and save the entire Gxdxxmn world?” – Hobbs
• “Why are you always yelling?” – Hobbs
• “Time to get my young Selfie levels up!” – Roman Pearce (Tyrese Gibson)

“You realize this is classified, right?” – Little Nobody

“Not today!” -Roman

Interesting lines:

• “See, that’s the funny thing about fate: it’s cunning.  It can bring you beautiful things and it can also bring you moments like this…” –  Cipher  
• “Have you heard of choice theory, Dom?  There’s a bunch of axioms, but only two you really need to concern yourself with: 1) The only person’s behavior we can control is our own, and 2) The only thing we can truly give another person is information…” – Cipher 

Tips for parents: 

• Lots of profanity, including an F-bomb, surprisingly by the lovely Helen Mirren.
• There are some subtitles that you’ll have to read to kids who can’t read fast.
• As expected in a movie designed for men, there are a lot of scantily clad women.
• TONS of explosions and MASSIVE amounts of destruction.
• Tons of violence in many forms, including hand-to-hand combat, shootings, stabbings, and beatings. 

Did you miss some of the previous movies? You can start here: The Fast and the Furious
Fast & Furious (2009)
Fast & Furious 6
2 Fast 2 Furious
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
Fast Five (Extended Version) Furious 7

@trinaboice 

Furious 7 is playfully preposterous and a sweet tribute to Paul Walker

Movie:    Furious 7 

PG-13, 2 hours 20 minutes

Grade:  A for amazing stunts and action, C for cheese

In a Nutshell:  Paul Walker’s character says “Just when you didn’t think it could get any better, huh?” as if he were really talking about this film.   If you love this action franchise, you’ll love this new addition to the ongoing saga.  Like the others before it, this one has LOTS of action and testosterone, not to mention cheesy lines that you’ll be laughing at and quoting with your friends for a long time.  

You’ll think you’re watching one of The Terminator movies, because villains and heroes refuse to die, despite unbelievable crashes and over-the-top fights.  Don’t get me wrong, the body count is high and some of the deaths show pretty yucky endings.  

The absolute best/funniest moment of the movie is when Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson bulges his massive muscles and bursts out of an arm cast, saying “Daddy’s gotta go to work.”   Haha  

Uplifting Theme:

·         Sadly and ironically, Paul Walker was tragically killed in a real life car accident about midway through the filming of this movie in 2014.  The characters in this film, as well as Paul Walker, lived their lives doing what they loved.  He will be missed.  The song See You Again (feat. Charlie Puth) plays in the movie and is a touching tribute to Paul. Vin Diesel even named his new baby daughter Pauline after his dear friend.

·         Dominic (Vin Diesel) affirms “Everyone’s always looking for the thrill, but what’s real is family.” Family is who you surround your life and love with.

Things I liked:

·         It’s always fun to see Kurt Russell in anything.  I was in love with him when I was a little girl.  I want a pair of his cool night-vision glasses.

·         Epic fight scenes between Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham.

·         I love looking at Jordana Brewster.  She is such a beautiful porcelain doll.

·         Michelle Rodriguez looked beautiful in that red dress.  Note to girls: make sure there is a big slit in your gown so you can kick butt in case you get into a serious cat fight at your fancy event.

·          

Things I didn’t like:

·         Most of the stunts are so ridiculously awesome that they couldn’t possibly ever be done in real life.  I’d like to see Myth Busters try them.

·         If you haven’t seen any of the Fast & Furious (2009) movies before, you won’t appreciate the backstories that bring all of these characters together again, but you’ll still enjoy the fun ride.

·         Vin Diesel poses and stares off in contemplation a LOT.  There’s also a lot of slow-motion walking scenes so you can linger on the stars' awesomeness a bit longer.

Cheesy lines:

·         “They say an open road helps you think.” – Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel)

·         “You better start talking before I break that finger six different ways and stick it where the sun doesn’t shine.” – Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson)

·         “He doesn’t miss the cars.  He doesn’t miss the girls.  He misses the bullets.” –Mia talking about her husband

·         “When you find the guy who killed Han, what are you going to do?” –

“Words haven’t been invented yet.” – Dominic

·         “Did you bring the calvalry?” – Letty (Michelle Rodriguez)

“Woman, I AM the cavalry!” – Luke (The Rock)

Funny lines:

·         “Don’t worry.  You’ll get use to this in no time.” – Preschool mom

“Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of .” – Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker)

·         “You risk your life to save the world and they give you Jello and a bad ‘70’s show.” – Dominic

·         “I’m just a guy.  I’m just a nobody.” – Petty

“That’s a pretty big entrance for a nobody.” – Dominic

·         “Your file’s not only detailed, it’s extremely entertaining.” - Petty

Tips for Parents:

·         What do guys like?  According to this movie...fast cars and scantily clad girls.  There are a lot of both, including close-ups of thongs, buns, and inappropriate jokes about women’s bodies.

·         I sat next to two different sets of teenage boys.  They all clapped, laughed and squealed with delight.  That’s entertainment.

Expendables 3 more of the same macho mahem

Movie Title:    The Expendables 3

PG-13, 1 hour 43 minutes

In theaters August 15, 2014

Grade: B-

In a Nutshell:   

There is no shortage of testosterone, nor bad guys to fight here, folks.  If you’ve seen the first two movies in the Expendables franchise, then you already know that the muscles, weapons and egos are all very, very large.

What makes this movie notable is that it’s rated PG-13, quite a feat since the first two installments were rated R.  The cast of macho men includes Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Terry Crews, Wesley Snipes, Antonio Banderas, Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Kelsey Grammer, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Dolph Lundren…what’s not to like?  Yeah, most of them are getting pretty old now, but they still know how to blow things up and kick you-know-what like nobody else.

Of course, the film isn’t complete without a few “Yeehaw”s and “That’s gotta hurt” lines during fight scenes.  Not heavy on a plot, this is all about the action, fight scenes, and seeing all of our favorite tough guys together.

Uplifting theme: 

• Family isn’t just the people you’re born to.

Things I liked:

• The camera zooms in on the angry eyes of team leader Sylvester Stallone, announcing to the audience that the real battle has just begun.  Classic.
• Antonio Banderas’ character, Galgo, is hilarious.
• True to real life, Sylvester Stalone’s character says to Arnold Schwartzeneggar’s character “I thought you retired.”  Arnold’s character says “I lied.”

Things I didn’t like:

• SPOILER ALERT:  Terry Crews' character gets wounded early in the movie, so don’t count on any of his classic dance moves with bouncing pecs.  Dang it.  His dancing (and singing too!) was hilariously creepy in the recent movie Blended.  Check out my movie review of Blended here.
• Harrison Ford is given the honors of dropping the only F-bomb in the movie.  Dang it.  I don't want to hear that coming out of his mouth.  (Yeah, my delicate ears make me a real prude.) 

Funny lines:

• “Relax.  You’ll give yourself a stroke.” – Harrison Ford to Sylvester
• “I could do that.”  - Sylvester says…a lot.
• “Is that the Big Dipper?  Yeah, we gotta turn around.” – Kelsey Grammer
• “You’re only old when you surrender.”  - Antonio Banderas
• “I need a job.  All I know how to do is killing people…and I do that very well.”  -  Antonio Banderas
• “If you wanted to fight, why didn’t you just get married?”  - Sylvester
• “Hurry up.  It’s boring.”  - Arnold Schwarzenegger
• “They put their noses in business where they didn’t belong and now they’re The Deletables.” – Mel Gibson
• “It’s hard to beat an enemy that’s living inside your head.” – Mel Gibson
• “Would you like to hold my gun?  Vamanos, chica.” – Antonio Banderas

Tips for parents:   Lots of profanity and violence…what did you expect from a movie packed with macho men?