Sunday, April 12, 2015

Furious 7 is playfully preposterous and a sweet tribute to Paul Walker

Movie:    Furious 7 

PG-13, 2 hours 20 minutes

Grade:  A for amazing stunts and action, C for cheese

In a Nutshell:  Paul Walker’s character says “Just when you didn’t think it could get any better, huh?” as if he were really talking about this film.   If you love this action franchise, you’ll love this new addition to the ongoing saga.  Like the others before it, this one has LOTS of action and testosterone, not to mention cheesy lines that you’ll be laughing at and quoting with your friends for a long time.  

You’ll think you’re watching one of The Terminator movies, because villains and heroes refuse to die, despite unbelievable crashes and over-the-top fights.  Don’t get me wrong, the body count is high and some of the deaths show pretty yucky endings.  

The absolute best/funniest moment of the movie is when Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson bulges his massive muscles and bursts out of an arm cast, saying “Daddy’s gotta go to work.”   Haha  

Uplifting Theme:
·         Sadly and ironically, Paul Walker was tragically killed in a real life car accident about midway through the filming of this movie in 2014.  The characters in this film, as well as Paul Walker, lived their lives doing what they loved.  He will be missed.  The song See You Again (feat. Charlie Puth) plays in the movie and is a touching tribute to Paul. Vin Diesel even named his new baby daughter Pauline after his dear friend.
·         Dominic (Vin Diesel) affirms “Everyone’s always looking for the thrill, but what’s real is family.” Family is who you surround your life and love with.

Things I liked:
·         It’s always fun to see Kurt Russell in anything.  I was in love with him when I was a little girl.  I want a pair of his cool night-vision glasses.
·         Epic fight scenes between Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham.
·         I love looking at Jordana Brewster.  She is such a beautiful porcelain doll.
·         Michelle Rodriguez looked beautiful in that red dress.  Note to girls: make sure there is a big slit in your gown so you can kick butt in case you get into a serious cat fight at your fancy event.
Things I didn’t like:
·         Most of the stunts are so ridiculously awesome that they couldn’t possibly ever be done in real life.  I’d like to see Myth Busters try them.
·         If you haven’t seen any of the Fast & Furious (2009) movies before, you won’t appreciate the backstories that bring all of these characters together again, but you’ll still enjoy the fun ride.
·         Vin Diesel poses and stares off in contemplation a LOT.  There’s also a lot of slow-motion walking scenes so you can linger on the stars' awesomeness a bit longer.

Cheesy lines:
·         “They say an open road helps you think.” – Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel)
·         “You better start talking before I break that finger six different ways and stick it where the sun doesn’t shine.” – Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson)
·         “He doesn’t miss the cars.  He doesn’t miss the girls.  He misses the bullets.” –Mia talking about her husband
·         “When you find the guy who killed Han, what are you going to do?” –
“Words haven’t been invented yet.” – Dominic
·         “Did you bring the calvalry?” – Letty (Michelle Rodriguez)
“Woman, I AM the cavalry!” – Luke (The Rock)

Funny lines:
·         “Don’t worry.  You’ll get use to this in no time.” – Preschool mom
“Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of .” – Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker)
·         “You risk your life to save the world and they give you Jello and a bad ‘70’s show.” – Dominic
·         “I’m just a guy.  I’m just a nobody.” – Petty
“That’s a pretty big entrance for a nobody.” – Dominic
·         “Your file’s not only detailed, it’s extremely entertaining.” - Petty

Tips for Parents:
·         What do guys like?  According to this cars and scantily clad girls.  There are a lot of both, including close-ups of thongs, buns, and inappropriate jokes about women’s bodies.

·         I sat next to two different sets of teenage boys.  They all clapped, laughed and squealed with delight.  That’s entertainment.

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