Smurfs. Blue. Meh.

Movie Title:  Smurfs: The Lost Village

Grade:  C

Rating:  PG, 1 hour 30 minutes

In a Nutshell:  Little ones will be entertained while parents snooze during this Sony Picture animation.  The cast is a pretty impressive collection of movie stars, Grammy winners, comedians, and even a celebrity chef (Gordon Ramsey), including Julia Roberts, Demi Lovato, Rainn Wilson, Mandy Patinkin, Meghan Trainor, Gabriel Iglesias, Jeff Dunham, Danny Pudi, Ellie Kemper, and so many more.

Uplifting theme: 

• Friendship, loyalty, kindness, love
• Labels and names
• Let people be who they are
• Girl power

Things I liked:

• Demi Lovato plays Smurfette.  I wish she would have sung more.
• The talented Rainn Wilson (The Office: The Complete Series) voices the bad guy, Gargamel.  I’m surprised he hasn’t been cast in more animated movies.
• Jack McBrayer has the perfect Smurf voice.
• I love to see Mandy Patinkin in anything.  My all-time favorite line of his comes from another one of my all-time favorite movies The Princess Bride: “Hello.  My name is Inigo Montoya.  You killed my father.  Prepared to die!”  My family recites that often.
• Michelle Rodriguez voices “SmurfStorm” and stars in The Fate of the Furious.  You can see my movie review of Fate of the Furious here. Congrats to her for having two movies out in theaters at the same time!
• It’s extremely colorful.
• Lots of action.
• Some of the creatures are pretty adorable.
• There isn't blatant merchandising by Sony like in the last film. 

Things I didn’t like:

• I really didn't want to see this movie.  The last ones were so bad. This one just didn’t grab me either, although it was better.  I’ve just never gotten into any of the Smurf movies for some reason.  I know some adults are true blue fans.   For me, zzzzz….
• It’s extremely predictable.
• SPOILER:  fake death scene, obligatory dance scene at the end of the movie.
• Quite a few scenes looked like they were trying to copy the magic of Avatar.
• It’s really hard to tell the various Smurfs apart sometimes.
• It’s super contrived.  It has all of the elements that usually create the magical formula for animation hits.  There’s just something missing....something lost....a village maybe?  ha ha

Funny lines:

• “It’s like a workout for my eyeballs.” – Smurf (which one?)
• “I’m really freaking out you guys!” – Clumsy Smurf (Jack McBrayer)
• “Dang, girl smurfs mean business.” – Clumsy Smurf

Tips for parents: 

• ZERO profanity.   Yay!
• Some mild fighting
• Expected butt jokes and some other rude, childish humor.
• Safe family entertainment.

@trinaboice 

Mother's Day movie filled with cliches and estrogen

Movie Title:      Mother’s Day

  

Grade:   C

Rating:   PG-13, 1 hour 58 minutes

In a Nutshell:    Full of sappy clichés, but if you have estrogen, you might still cry. The movie showcases all kinds of mothers.  

Mother’s Day can be a very difficult day for many mothers and this film shows that very well.

Is director Garry Marshall going to make a Father's Day movie?  Would anyone see it?

Uplifting theme: 

• You better do something nice for your mother on Mother’s Day!  Just kidding…the film didn’t really preach that.  I’m just sayin…
• Mothers come in all forms.  Whatever shape or size, season or situation, motherhood is a sacrifice and act of love like no other.

Things I liked:

• The cast is full of big names: Jennifer Aniston, Kate Hudson, Julia Roberts, Jason Sudeikis, Jennifer Garner, Jon Lovitz, Britt  Robertson, and more.
• Kate Hudson is gorgeous and in amazing shape.   Have you seen her newest business venture?  She co-founded Fabletics, a lifestyle athletic wear brand and store.  One of her stores just opened up near me.  I'd buy everything in the store if it would make me look like her.
• Sandy and Bradley meet in Sprouts Farmers Market store.  Have you ever been there? 
• The movie features a cute song by Meghan Trainer appropriately entitled “Mom”.
• There are some cute outtakes during the rolling credits at the end.

Things I didn’t like:

• What town on earth has a Mother’s Day parade?
• It’s hard to feel sorry for these beautiful women with hard bodies and beautiful houses.
• Margo Martindale is always delightful, but in this movie she plays a truly insensitive, judgmental mother.
• The situations and lines are painfully contrived and predictable.

Funny lines:

•  “There’s no texting in soccer.” – Bradley (Jason Sudeikis)
• “You don’t go into marriage thinking you’ll get a divorce, but life happens, and when it does…you get more closet space.” – Sandy (Jennifer Aniston)
• “A pox on your whistle!” – Bradley's daughter
• “His eyes have cataracts.  Mine have hope.” – comedienne in bar 
• “And I put on a bra for this?” – Flo (Margo Martindale)
• “I don’t get that joke, but it sounds racist…and funny.” – Sonia (Anoush Nevart)
• “You look just like me…in the summer time.” -  Flo to her little brown grandson.

• Tips for parents:   
• 1 F-bomb.
• Most kids will be fairly bored.
• Pre-marital sex, two lesbians, some racist jokes.

Secret In Their Eyes has satisfying and creepy double twist at the end

Movie:    Secret in their Eyes

Rating:    PG-13, 1 hour 51 minutes

Grade:   B-

In a Nutshell:   The source material is an Argentine crime thriller that won an Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film in 2009.  (“El Secreto De Sus Ojos”).  Despite its talented cast and Julia Roberts’ stellar performance, this remake isn't as good as the original and probably won’t win any awards.   Joining Roberts is Nicole Kidman, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Dean Norris, and Alfred Molina.

It’s a disturbing movie that is dark, sad and depressing.  You leave the theater thinking “Ew” and “Oh” and “Ah” all at the same time.

Uplifting Theme:

·         Revenge doesn’t bring peace.

·         Does the end justify the means?
      Blood is thick.  A mother's love is thicker.

·         “Passions are like maps.  Passion always wins.” – Jess

Things I liked:

·         Ray (Chiwetel Ejiofor) tells Jess (Julia Roberts) that she looks like she’s a million years old.  She really does.  You can physically see the weight and pain she has worn for 13 years after her daughter was murdered.   Julia Roberts looks old, tired, and even...dare I say it... average.  Now, that’s good acting by a beautiful actress!

·         Julia’s heart-felt cries at her daughter’s crime scene were extremely believable and compelling.  I could hear soft whimpers and sobs in the audience during that entire emotional unraveling.

·         I love movie titles that make you think, although I think even more could have been done with this one.

·         Did you notice the piano outside the house with drinks on it?  What a fun idea for a night-time party….hard on the piano, though, unless you live in clear skies Los Angles, where the movie takes place.

·         There is some subtle humor that helps cut the tension every now and then.

·         I just taught my college students the word “predilection” the very day I saw this movie in the theater, so I was pleased to hear Jess use it in a sentence.  (Hint:  It means a preference or partiality for something.)

·         Cool camera views over Dodger Stadium. 

·         Good for Chiwetel Ejiofor for having two movies out in theaters at the same time!  (Hint:  The other one is The Martian.)

      SPOILER ALERT:  I love the double twist at the end.  Creepy though, yet satisfying.
      I don't know if it was intentional or not, but the movie poster looks like a woman's view from her burka. There is a Muslim element in the film with the crime scene taking place just outside a mosque and some discussion about the post-9/11 fear towards Islam.

Things I didn’t like:

·         Writer and director Billy Ray thought mixing up the original story would give it a sense of urgency.  Wrong.  The movie lunges from present day back to the past, sometimes making it confusing to keep the timeline straight.  It’s often difficult to find clues to help you quickly ascertain which of the two decades you are seeing, as the background and even clothing are the same.  The result is a messy mix with bad transitions that don’t flow and a confused audience.

·         It’s a bit slow-moving.

Funny lines:  

·         “They teach you some version of ‘Yes, Sir!’ at the Bureau, don’t they?”  - Martin Morales (Alfred Molina)

·         “You really are an idiot….medically.” – Jess

·         “Harvard law doesn’t date community college.  Stop hitting on my new hire.” – Martin Morales

Tips for Parents:

·         This is not a family entertainment film, especially for young children.  The theme is very dark.

·         Some profanity, death, unpleasant images, and violence.