Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows better than the last one

Movie Title:       Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows

  

Grade:   C

Rating:   PG-13, 1 hour 37 minutes

In a Nutshell:  Cowabunga!  Well, it’s not as bad as the last one!  That’s not exactly a favorable endorsement, now is it? 

You can read my movie review of their 2014flick here. 

It’s full of things prepubescent boys and true Ninja Turtle fans will love: action, bodily function humor, a hot chick, high tech gadgets, explosions, destruction, and more action.

Uplifting theme: 

• Teamwork, brotherhood
• Embrace who you are and be the best THAT.

Things I liked:

• The turtles are much less obnoxious and gangsta as they were in the last movie.  They feel and even sound more like teenagers this time around.
• Funny slow-motion action sequences.
• Cute transformer costume in the parade in New York City in the beginning of the movie.

Things I didn’t like:

• An “exposition” scene is one where the characters have to catch the audience up to speed by having the characters explain what’s going on to each other.  Almost every scene in this movie was like that.  Fans will feel talked down to.  Other viewers might just feel annoyed.
• There aren’t very many true NINJA sequences.  There was a lot of action, but it felt more like par core.  Still, the action has that high octane Michael Bay feel to it.
• There’s nothing fun after the rolling credits at the end.
• Because the target audience is young boys, you are correct in your assumption that there are plenty of spit wads and farts.
• Tyler Perry?  Whose idea was that?
• For some reason, it was the first time that it struck me as ridiculous that the turtles wear masks to protect their identity.
• Your sons are going to want to buy a drone.  Heck, I want to buy a drone.
• It takes less than 5 minutes for Megan Fox to strip down to a short school girl skirt and tie her shirt up to her chest, revealing her awesome abs and legs.  Of course, if I were a guy, I’d be including that observation in the “Things I liked” list.
• The turtle brothers fight and bicker a LOT.  It’s not funny, nor charming.
• The plot isn’t very good and most of the characters don’t have developed motivations.

Funny lines:

•  “I got one of those.  I’m kind of a big deal.” – Vernon Fenwick (Will Arnett)
• “You could live a normal life, like the rest of us.” – Rebecca Vincent (Laura Linney)

“Normal?  What fun is that?” – Raphael (Alan Ritchson)

• “I was looking for something worse.” – Donatello (Jeremy Howard)

“Like what?” – Raphael (Alan Ritchson)

“I don’t know.  Maybe a mustache or evil goatee.” – Donatello

• “I’m a nerd, not a geek.  Umm…It’s the difference between like “Lord of the Rings” and “Harry Potter” or TED Talks and ComicCon.” – April O’Neil (Megan Fox)
• “It’s pizza on my Nike!” – basketball player

“Welcome to New York!” – Referee

• “Why are you wasting time talking to a grumpy, old rat?  Go get ‘em!” – Splinter (Tony Shalhoub)
• “You’re bringing back the Mohawk.  Good for you.” – Leonardo (Pete Ploszek)
• “Woah!  This is awkward.” – Raphael as he stared at a real turtle

Tips for parents:   

• Some profanity.
• None of these characters are great role models for your kids. The ninja turtles are disrespectful to each other and police officers.  Even April O’Neil steals things and breaks the law.
• Krang (Brad Garrett) might scare very young children with his mucousy tentacles and pointed teeth.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie review

Grade:  C

PG-13, 1 hour 41 minutes

In a Half-shell:  You’re about to get shell-shocked.  OK, first of all…I have 2 water turtles.  So there’s that.  Secondly, I raised 4 sons who were obsessed with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when the cartoon, toys, comic books, video games, and subsequent movie first came out.  We owned every plastic version of the toys with every miniature weapon accessory ever sold.  So, how could this movie be so boring?  I actually fell asleep in the theater.  Granted, I only had 4 hours of sleep the night before, but still.  Cowabunga.

Don’t worry if you don’t know the back story.  There is a short refresher in the beginning of the movie and then a new twist on the old story throughout the film.  The movie is filled with non-stop, fast action…if you can keep your eyes open.  

Uplifting theme: 

• Believe in the impossible.
• Don’t be a hater…unless you have to fight bad guys.

Things I liked:

• You’ll want to see this one in 3D.  The aerial scenes are pretty amazing and there are a lot of them.
• Shredder was pretty fierce and scary.  His samurai outfit was pretty cool.
• New York City is featured as the main locale.  Has anyone ever counted how many times the iconic Time Square has been destroyed in movies?
• The likable Will Arnett provides some comic relief as Vern Fenwick. 
• There is something about William Fichtner that I’ve always liked.  Maybe it’s that I dated a guy in college who looked like him.  He was great in Prison Break: Seasons 1-4 .

Things I didn’t like:

• Why did Megan Fox get plastic surgery?  She was gorgeous before.  Now she looks a little “off.” Madame Tussaud won’t have to create wax figures anymore if Hollywood starlets keep plasticizing themselves.  Megan Fox gets almost more screen time than the turtles themselves.  She spends most of the movie running around, panting.
• The age of the target audience is probably 5, so of course, there are fart jokes.
• You can’t always tell which turtle is talking.
• I always wonder how much money companies pay for product placement in films.  This one features Pizza Hut.  You know…turtle teenagers and pizza.
• The wise cracks are pretty mediocre…neither wise, nor particularly funny.  There were some small children laughing in the theater, but I suspect this may have been their first introduction to this franchise.
• Some of the action scenes are so fast that you can’t enjoy everything in the frame because it has jumped on to something else already.  Don’t sit too close to the screen or it’ll be a blur.
• Comedienne Whoopi Goldberg doesn’t get much material to work with.
• Splinter looked pretty mangey.
• The turtles sound more like Turtles in the Hood.  They’re super bulky and don’t look like teenagers.

Did you notice?

• The stickers on April O’Neill’s bike helmet?
• It’s pouring rain at the ship yard, but April’s beautiful hair doesn’t get wet.
• Incense burning in Splinter’s lair.
• Wall of boom boxes, reminiscent of the late 1980’s when the Ninja Turtles first became popular.

Funny lines:

• “That is insane!  That cat is playing “Chopsticks” with chopsticks!  - one of the turtles (I couldn’t tell who said it)
• “I so don’t understand the ending of Lost."- Michelangelo  (Yeah, you’re not the only one.) Lost: Season 6 - Final Season

“Hey guys, if it’s not obvious already about that girl…Dibbs!” – Michelangelo

“So, they’re aliens?”  - Vern

“No, that’s stupid.  They’re reptiles.  They help people.”  - April

“Heroes in a half-shell.”  - Vern

• “Maybe she’s a Jedi.”  - turtle  (I couldn’t tell who said that)
• “Yeah, I’m a talking turtle and you’re a human nerd.”  - turtle
• “You two are adorable.  I could just pinch your cheeks.” – Eric Sacks
• April O’Neill:  “So, you’re ninjas…mutant turtles..teenagers?

Donatello:  When you put it like that, it sounds ridiculous.

Interesting lines:

• “I don’t believe in fairy tales.”  - Shredder
• “Whenever someone takes a flame to this city, I’ll be there to put it out.” – Eric Sacks

Tips for parents:   There is a LOT of violent (but bloodless) fighting, but it’s mostly harmless fun for the younger set who haven’t discovered these reptilian heroes yet.  Maybe this is your chance to teach your kids about the true Renaissance masters: Leonardo Da Vinci, Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni, Raphael Sanzio, and Donato di Niccolo di Betto Bardi.

There was a karate school advertising their classes for kids when we walked outside the theater.  Impressionable kids in your home will want to kick and jump and chop things.  Fair warning.

For fans who can't get enough of these heroes in a half shell: