Fist Fight showcases the worst of American high school

Movie Title:    Fist Fight

Grade:  D for don't waste your time on this garbage

Rating: R, 1 hour 31 minutes

In a Nutshell:   #TeacherFight

This filthy movie features about 947,633 moments of profanity, bullying, drug-use, porn, and a huge variety of inappropriate and lewd behavior by high school teens AND adults. 

Uplifting theme: 

• “It takes courage to grow up and to become who you really are.”   e.e.cummings
• “Words are always going to matter.” – English teacher
• “Actions have consequences.” – Ron Strickland (Ice Cube)
• As I always tell my 4 sons, “Be. A. Man.”
• If you don't stand up for yourself, who will?

Things I liked:

• Andy Campbell is the perfect wuss.
• Jillian Bell is hilarious, but inappropriate 99% of the time.
• Christina Hendrick smolders, as always.
• Occasionally funny pranks.  I was Senior class president of my high school and planned an awesome Senior Prank.  I sent home letters to all the parents of seniors, explaining that the students would have a particular day off school for some legitimate-sounding reason, forging the principal's signature.

Things I didn’t like:

• There has to be premise for the fight, but Ron Strickland (Ice Cube) throws a temper tantrum in a classroom, destroys school property, and then picks a fight with another teacher.
• Tracy Morgan always plays the same character in everything.  I walked past him in an airport once and said, "Hey!"  He answered back, "Hey yourself."
• I hate the expression “Snitches have stitches.”  I’ve heard students say that before.  It encourages the lack of consequences. 
• I hated the talent show where little elementary school student Ally (Alexa Nisenson) drops a million F-bombs.  NOT adorable.
• I chuckled a few times, but it’s mostly not funny.
• Ice Cube was good, but he pretty much plays the same character in everything he does too: tough, scary guy matched up with a weasely light-weight who plays the comic relief.

Funny lines:

• “No meth period.” – Andy

“When I’m on my period, don’t do it?  That’s when I need it the most.” – Holly

“Holly, this has got to stop!” – Andy

“Cuz it’s a gateway?” – Holly

“It’s the finish line!” – Andy

• “The guy’s a virtuoso.” – janitor

“That doesn’t seem so scary.” – Andy

“You didn’t see his eyes.” – janitor

• “Where do I get drugs?” – Andy

“You’re in a public high school in the United States of America. There couldn’t be a better place to get drugs.” – Holly

• “Whoever dies first haunts the school!” – Holly 

Tips for parents: 

• This is a true Rated R movie that is not family-friendly viewing.
• Tons and tons of profanity.
• Tons of inappropriate images of porn, underage sex talk, and masturbation.
• It makes American high school look like it’s filled with complete drug & porn addicted delinquents.

@trinaboice 

Ride Along 2 is a lazy sequel

Movie Title:     Ride Along 2

Grade:  D for Dumb

Rating:  PG-13, 1 hour 42 minutes

In a Nutshell:    If you liked the first one, you’ll laugh again.  If you thought the first Ride Along was lame and annoying, then you’ll definitely want to skip this one.  Produced by Ice Cube, this action flick features lazy mayhem, Kevin Hart’s exaggerated physical comedy, and tired shenanigans.

Uplifting theme: 

•  Family matters.

Things I liked:

• This buddy cop sequel features Ice Cube and Kevin Hart, who undoubtedly have great chemistry together.
• Tika Sumpter is beautiful.
• Lots of fun music.
• The cell phone scene in the store was pretty funny.  You know you’re low on someone’s “favorites” list if the ring tone they select for you is the Apple default.   
• Benjamin Bratt and Olivia Munn join the ensemble.

Things I didn’t like:

• Ken Jeong can always be counted on for nasty laughs.  Did you know he was actually a doctor?  He has a new TV sitcom coming out based on his real life called “Dr. Ken.”
• Lots of rude and bad behavior.
• Kevin Hart is both adorable and annoying.  This is not his best movie.
• Lots of irritating screaming and nonsense.

Funny lines:

• “I don’t compliment no marshmallow.” – James Payton (Ice Cube)
• “Do you ever hear the XXX that flies out of your mouth?” - James

“No.” – Ben Barber (Kevin Hart)

• “Quiet.  The adults are talking.” –Lt. Brooks (Bruce McGill)
• “Look at me.  Don’t look at me.  Look at me.  Don’t look at me…that was a test.” – Ben
• “I’d love a wonton or two.  It’s not racist if I say it.” – A.J. (Ken Jeong)

Tips for parents:   

• Lots of scantily clad women.  Tons.
• Lots of profanity.  Tons.
• Pre-marital relations.
• Lots of shooting and fighting.

Better as a drive-thru than a Ride Along

Movie Title:  Ride Along

PG-13, 1 hour 40 minutes

Grade: C

In a Nutshell:  Ride Along should really just be a drive-thru, maybe later, after it’s out on DVD or in the dollar bin at Wal-Mart.  One F-bomb short of an R-rated movie, this buddy cop clichéd flick is filled with profanity, racial slurs and police brutality jokes.  It relies on the physical humor that Kevin Hart provides as he screams in a panic during the entire film.  The plot is canned, as are the jokes.  It’s 100 minutes of exaggerated silliness, so if that’s what you’re in the mood for don’t be disappointed with the thin plot and stereotyped characters.   

Uplifting theme:  Santiago (played by the talented John Leguizamo) says to James (played by straight-faced Ice Cube) “It must be tough being an island, huh?  Nobody to watch your back?” Some of the biggest themes of the movie are that we all need each other and to believe in your dreams.  Oh yeah, and playing video games gives you handy skills because, as Omar says "Everybody wants to be on the winning side."

Things I liked:  Kevin Hart is adorable and it’s inspiring to see his character never give up on his dream.

Things I didn’t like: I thought it was ridiculous that while Ben (Kevin Hart) was out trying to survive various antics, his girlfriend (Tika Sumpter) sat around the house scantily clad, anxiously waiting for him to return so they could…

Funny lines:

* “I’m not about to buy that girl with a goat.”   - Ben

* “How tall is Omar now?” – Ben

* The audience howled with laughter when Ben smacks James (several times)
* "Respect is best served cold."  - Ben  Omar corrects him: "No, it's revenge that's best served cold."

Things to look for:  Sophisticated humor…Nope, you won’t find it here, folks.

Tips for parents: This is not exactly a family-friendly movie and not appropriate for little ones…or older ones.  Lots and lots of profanity, including a scene where a young kid has a terrible potty-mouth.  There is a strip club scene and lots of sexual jokes, as well as disrespect for the popo…oh, I mean the police.