Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri surprises you in every scene

Movie Title:      Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Grade:  A

Rating: R,  115 minutes

In a Nutshell:  From the minute Francis McDormand appears on the screen and starts chewing her fingernails in contemplation, you know you’re seeing an award-winning performance. 

To date, she has been nominated for Best Actress in a dramatic role by the Golden Globes, surely with an Oscar nod to follow.   

Director Martin McDonagh has also been nominated for a Golden Globe and the movie is on the short list for Best Picture.  This movie is that well done.  The movie balances dark humor with tenderness, racism, revenge, and rage, sometimes all in the same scene.

What makes this movie especially impressive to me is its unpredictability.  I see a LOT of movies and can usually guess what’s going to happen.  Not with this film.  Characters made surprising choices and scenes unfolded in ways I never would have imagined.  For me, that’s a delight and why I love movies so much.

                                                           

Tips for parents: 

• TONS of profanity.  Soooo many F-bombs.
• Use of the “N” word and lots of other racial slurs.
• Disrespectful talk of homosexuality 
• Talk of civil rights
• Talk of rape and abuse
• Robbie talks so disrespectfully to his mom all the time and uses extremely ugly language about her.
• Someone commits suicide.
• Lowest body count (2) in a Martin McDonagh film.
• Very strong, tough female lead. She basically stands up alone for what she believes against an entire town.

Uplifting theme: 

• Life, death, and everything in between
• Parenting decisions, family
• Choices and consequences
• “Hate never solved nothing.” – Woody
• “Anger begets greater anger.” – ex husband
• Hope
• Justice, revenge

                                                     

Things I liked:

• Francis McDormand is amazing as always.  She thought she was too old for the role and initially declined, but her husband said, “Shut up and do it.”   
• Entertaining conversations.
• Woody Harrelson and Sam Rockwell are extremely entertaining, as always, and the entire cast knocks it out of the park.
• While the movie title suggests that it was filmed in Ebbing, Missouri, the location was actually Sylva, North Caroline, where my mother was born!  I read that the production staff welcomed the locals in Sylva to watch the filming.  After a scene was shot, the actors would sign autographs.  Woody Harrelson gave an impromptu guitar performance.
• Pay attention to books people read and TV shows that people watch.  They actually have meaning to what the characters’ motivations are.  I love that
• Many of the characters have arc, which is what you want to see in a movie.  There is personal growth and understanding, which gives the film depth and meaning.
• I first noticed Zeljko Ivanek in the popular TV show Madam Secretary: Season 1 and have liked him ever since.

Things I didn’t like:

• I couldn’t quite figure out what kind of accent Abbie Cornish was going for.
• The excessive profanity is tiresome (for me), although appropriate for the film.
• The ignorant racism towards African Americans and bullying of a gay man is jolting.

Funny lines:

• “I don’t know what the compensation scheme is before you throw a guy out a window, Ma. I guess I shoulda looked into that beforehand.  I should Google it.” – Officer Jason Dixon (Sam Rockwell)
• “Do you think I care about dentists?  Nobody cares about dentists.” – Sheriff Bill Wiloughby (Woody Harrelson)

Interesting lines:

• “You aren’t trying to get me to believe in reincarnation or something are you, cuz you’re pretty, but you ain’t her.” – Mildred Hayes (Frances McDormand)

                                              @trinaboice 

Ride Along 2 is a lazy sequel

Movie Title:     Ride Along 2

Grade:  D for Dumb

Rating:  PG-13, 1 hour 42 minutes

In a Nutshell:    If you liked the first one, you’ll laugh again.  If you thought the first Ride Along was lame and annoying, then you’ll definitely want to skip this one.  Produced by Ice Cube, this action flick features lazy mayhem, Kevin Hart’s exaggerated physical comedy, and tired shenanigans.

Uplifting theme: 

•  Family matters.

Things I liked:

• This buddy cop sequel features Ice Cube and Kevin Hart, who undoubtedly have great chemistry together.
• Tika Sumpter is beautiful.
• Lots of fun music.
• The cell phone scene in the store was pretty funny.  You know you’re low on someone’s “favorites” list if the ring tone they select for you is the Apple default.   
• Benjamin Bratt and Olivia Munn join the ensemble.

Things I didn’t like:

• Ken Jeong can always be counted on for nasty laughs.  Did you know he was actually a doctor?  He has a new TV sitcom coming out based on his real life called “Dr. Ken.”
• Lots of rude and bad behavior.
• Kevin Hart is both adorable and annoying.  This is not his best movie.
• Lots of irritating screaming and nonsense.

Funny lines:

• “I don’t compliment no marshmallow.” – James Payton (Ice Cube)
• “Do you ever hear the XXX that flies out of your mouth?” - James

“No.” – Ben Barber (Kevin Hart)

• “Quiet.  The adults are talking.” –Lt. Brooks (Bruce McGill)
• “Look at me.  Don’t look at me.  Look at me.  Don’t look at me…that was a test.” – Ben
• “I’d love a wonton or two.  It’s not racist if I say it.” – A.J. (Ken Jeong)

Tips for parents:   

• Lots of scantily clad women.  Tons.
• Lots of profanity.  Tons.
• Pre-marital relations.
• Lots of shooting and fighting.

Hot Pursuit is a cold disappointment

Movie:  Hot Pursuit [HD]

PG-13, 1 hour 27 minutes

Grade: B-

In a Nutshell:  With better writing, this could have been a hilarious movie.  Unfortunately, the script is weak and the dialogue weaker.  I adore both Reese Witherspoon (she won an Oscar for Walk The Line ) and Sophia Vergara (fantastic in Modern Family: Season 1 ) and I know they could have nailed it if given good material to work with.

They're still fun to watch in this Odd Couple, on-the-run buddy comedy, but it could have been so much better.

Uplifting Theme:

·         Look for the strengths in others and appreciate the differences.

Things I liked:

·         Some audience members enjoyed the physical humor, but I thought it was silly slapstick that could have been done so much better.

·         I lived in the South for 15 years and got a kick out of the sign at the gas station that said “Hep yourself.”  Aw, Southern Hospitality.

·         The funniest scene is when Reese Witherspoon accidentally breathes in a cloud of cocaine powder and talks a mile a minute, saying ridiculous things.  Well done Reese.

·         The outtakes at the end of the movie were often funnier than the movie itself.

      Wow...that dress.  Sophia Vergara is so gorgeous.  Reese Witherspoon is so adorable.

Things I didn’t like:

·         If you’re Christian, you might be offended by some lines that mock Christians.

·         The biggest punch lines in the movie poke fun at the height difference between Witherspoon and Vergara…over and over again. 

·         I really wanted to laugh, but was mostly disappointed.  If you are big fans of Witherspoon and Vergara, your expectations will be high and you’ll be let down, but if you’re really going to the movie for two other things, then you’ll enjoy it.

Funny lines:

·         “What is that white thing?” – Daniella Riva

“It’s my underwear.”  - Officer Cooper

“That’s not underwear…it’s a diaper!” – Daniella Riva

·         “I’m totally crushing it as a dude.” – Officer Cooper

·         “It might have rabies or worse…herpes!” – Officer Cooper

·         “You’re the real Cooper...as in ‘you just pulled a Cooper’?” – officer at the station

·         “You’re teeny, tiny…I could put you in my purse.” – Daniella talking about Officer Cooper

·         “I know she looks like she can’t protect nothing, because she looks like My Little Pony.” – Daniella talking about Officer Cooper

·         “I kinda like your smile” – Randy

“I’m not smiling.” – Officer Cooper

“Then I got something to look forward to.” - Randy

Tips for Parents:

·         Lots of profanity in Spanish.  No worries if you don’t speak Spanish, but your kids may think it’s funny to say them.  Reese Witherspoon’s character expresses her anger with a softer “Dangit!”.  The closest she ever gets to profanity is when she says “I am the Mother F-ing police!”  (pronounced “effing”)

·         There is an inappropriate scene that uses descriptive language to discuss women’s periods.

·         There is a lesbian scene that is supposed to be funny, but it’s mostly stupid.

·         You see a part naked guy in a shower scene and hear a lot of sexual innuendos during the entire movie.

Paul Blart 2 disappoints

Movie:  Paul Blart Mall Cop 2

PG, 1 hour 34 minutes

Grade:  C-

In a Nutshell:  If you really like Kevin James (I do) and his physical humor (ouch!), you won’t mind the simple plot and weak script too much.  If not, you might want to skip this one.

One of the characters in the movie calls Paul Blart a “misshapen superhero.”  He was certainly a lovable character in the first movie, although this sequel  spends more time on the size of his cape than on his endearing, deluded personality.   Maybe that’s a good thing, because he becomes rude and obnoxious in this second one.

As Paul says: “Always bet on Blart.”  Unfortunately, the critics hate this movie and aren’t betting on it at all.

Uplifting Theme:

·         “We live as we dream.” – Joseph Conrad

·         Courage comes in all sizes.

Things I liked:

·         I finally got to ride a Segway for the first time on a San Antonio city tour back in February with my hubby and we loved every minute.  They’re definitely as much fun as Paul Blart makes them look.  He’s really good at doing tricks on them!

·         I thought it was funny when Paul pounced on a “bad” person and jiggled his large body, thereby smooshing the victim until the person gave up.  I used to do that to my kids.

Things I didn’t like:

·         It feels like an infomercial for the Winn Resort in Las Vegas.  (Beautiful hotel, by the way.)  At the end of the movie, you get to actually see Steve Wynn and his wife.  Sadly, they both look awkwardly plastic.

·         The movie also feels like a UCLA recruiting ad.

·         There are a lot of moments that are produced to draw laughs that fall flat.  I actually did hear a few people laugh in the theater a couple of times though.  Kevin James co-wrote the movie with his long-time writing partner, Nick Bakay.  When they were drunk?

·         Both Kevin James (Paul Blart) and Maya (Raini Rodriguez) look like they have gained a lot of weight since the first movie.  Of course, I have too…

·         There are two hotel workers who fall in love with Paul and Maya.  The unlikely romances are pretty forced and feel like slapstick.

Funny lines:

·         “Security is a mission, not an intermission.” – Paul   

·         “My body’s fine.  Turns out it’s my ego that got hit.” – Paul, after taking one of his many hits in the movie

·         “Is it me or did he smell like tobacco and vanilla?” – Paul

·         “What’s the motive?”  Do you have a lot of money?” – security guy at the hotel

“Define a lot.” – Paul

“Any?” – security guy at the hotel

“No.  I don’t have any.”  - Paul

·         “Is it warm in here or did I order my next uniform from Rochester Big and Humid?” – Paul

·         “It’s a bad day to be bad people.” – Paul

·         “Are you ok?” – Female cop

“Nope. But I’ve never been better.” – Paul

Tips for Parents:

·         Because the film takes place in Las Vegas, you will see gambling, drinking, and scantily clad women.  Welcome to Las Vegas, Baby.  I live in Vegas, so I always get a kick out of seeing views of the Strip in movies.  Thanks to all those tourists, we pay no state income tax!  There’s a scene when one of the guard’s wives is holding a GIGANTIC glass of booze.  That’s how we locals can tell who the tourists are…the locals are the ones carrying big bottles of water.

   

                 

Better as a drive-thru than a Ride Along

Movie Title:  Ride Along

PG-13, 1 hour 40 minutes

Grade: C

In a Nutshell:  Ride Along should really just be a drive-thru, maybe later, after it’s out on DVD or in the dollar bin at Wal-Mart.  One F-bomb short of an R-rated movie, this buddy cop clichéd flick is filled with profanity, racial slurs and police brutality jokes.  It relies on the physical humor that Kevin Hart provides as he screams in a panic during the entire film.  The plot is canned, as are the jokes.  It’s 100 minutes of exaggerated silliness, so if that’s what you’re in the mood for don’t be disappointed with the thin plot and stereotyped characters.   

Uplifting theme:  Santiago (played by the talented John Leguizamo) says to James (played by straight-faced Ice Cube) “It must be tough being an island, huh?  Nobody to watch your back?” Some of the biggest themes of the movie are that we all need each other and to believe in your dreams.  Oh yeah, and playing video games gives you handy skills because, as Omar says "Everybody wants to be on the winning side."

Things I liked:  Kevin Hart is adorable and it’s inspiring to see his character never give up on his dream.

Things I didn’t like: I thought it was ridiculous that while Ben (Kevin Hart) was out trying to survive various antics, his girlfriend (Tika Sumpter) sat around the house scantily clad, anxiously waiting for him to return so they could…

Funny lines:

* “I’m not about to buy that girl with a goat.”   - Ben

* “How tall is Omar now?” – Ben

* The audience howled with laughter when Ben smacks James (several times)
* "Respect is best served cold."  - Ben  Omar corrects him: "No, it's revenge that's best served cold."

Things to look for:  Sophisticated humor…Nope, you won’t find it here, folks.

Tips for parents: This is not exactly a family-friendly movie and not appropriate for little ones…or older ones.  Lots and lots of profanity, including a scene where a young kid has a terrible potty-mouth.  There is a strip club scene and lots of sexual jokes, as well as disrespect for the popo…oh, I mean the police.