The Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies satisfies the army of fans who want to see the final installment

Movie:  THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES

PG-13, 2 hours 24 minutes

Grade:  A-

In a Nutshell:

Fans will be mostly satisfied with the way the end is handled and how introductions are made to step viewers into the Lord of the Rings trilogy, as we go full circle.  I think J.R.R. Tolkien would have been very proud of the way Peter Jackson has presented both of his stories, and especially impressed by how Peter Jackson was able to squeeze 3 entire movies out of his Hobbit tale.  

I didn't think The Hobbit movie trilogy wasn't quite as awesome as the Lord of the Rings trio, but it's still a fine companion in the storytelling and worth the visit to CGI Middle Earth.  Easily the most violent of all of the films in the series, the battle of five armies includes the army of fans who will see the final installment and make Peter Jackson's movies go down in history as one of the most beloved cinematic stories.

Uplifting Theme:

·         “You should never underestimate dwarves.” – Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage)

·         “Don’t underestimate the evil of gold.” – Gandolf

·         What is your true treasure?

·         Cowardice vs. true bravery
*    "Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love. Why Bilbo Baggins? I don't know. Perhaps because I am afraid, and he gives me courage."   - Gandolf

Things I liked:

·         The action starts exactly where it left off in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug .  If you missed Part 2, then the beginning of this movie and subtle plots and characters will probably be confusing for you. Better to start from the beginning.  To see my movie review of the previous Hobbit movie, click here.

·         The cliffs in 3D are magnificent and scary!

·         The landscapes are stunning.  The aerial views are just beautiful.

·         Smaug is magnificent.  I love it when his belly glows before he hurls fire at his enemies.  Did you see him as a guest on The Colbert Report?  Hilarious.  While you’re at it, watch the recent Saturday Night Live skit of TheOffice: Middle Earth., hosted by Martin Freeman (Bilbo Baggins). Super funny.

·         FINALLY, Legolas (Orlando Bloom) actually runs out of arrows.  Ha ha

·         I can never get enough of seeing the gorgeous, majestic elves with their silky long hair, and elegant poise.  The moose that Thranduil (Lee Pace) rode was awesome.  Watching the synchronized army in battle was cool too.

·         The IMAX 3D version of the film offers incredible clarity.  If you’re a big fan of this trilogy, it's worth it to pay extra for it.
*    Aiden Turner (Kili) is so cute!  Former heart-throb Orlando Bloom (Legolas) is starting to look old because of the odd CGI work they did on his face.
*    Two words: Benedict Cumberbatch.

Things I didn’t like:

·         I hate looking at Alfrid’s zit face.  He’s such a greasy little weasel that you love to hate.

·         Gandolf is such a helpless wizard.  Seriously, he rarely uses his wisdom and power until after suffering peril for a long time.

·         Remember the fake CGI scene in the last Hobbit movie when Legolas was jumping on barrels in the river?  Well, there’s some more of that awkward action, but this time there are rocks that are crumbling and falling down mid-air as he unbelievably climbs up them.  There are a few other times when the CGI looks more like a video game than cool imagery.  Whatever.  The movie is still visually amazing.
*  Considering Bilbo is THE hobbit that this trilogy is named after, he played a somewhat minor role in this last film.
*   While it's always lovely to see Cate Blanchett, that green, psycho look on Galadriel isn't becoming on her.  ha ha

Funny lines:

·         “I may be a burglar, but I like to think I’m an honest one.” – Bilbo

·         “Not every man is brave enough to wear a corset.” - Alfrid

Interesting lines:

·         “What is it you know?” – Thorin

“Nothing for certain.  It is what may come I fear.”  - Legolas

·         “It is your king’s command.” – Tauriel  (Evangeline Lilly)

“He is my king, but he does not command my heart.” – Legolas

·         “If this is love, I do not want it.  Take it from me.  Why does it hurt so much?” – Tauriel

“Because it was real.” – Thranduil

·         “If more people valued love above gold, this would be a far more merry place.” – Thorin

·          "I will not hide when others fight our battles for us."  - Kili
*     "You started this.  You will forgive me if I finish it."  - Thranduil

Tips for Parents:

·         The title of this movie includes mention of five armies…let that be a warning to you…there are a lot of battle scenes, violence, and gruesome death scenes, including decapitation and burning bodies....kinda icky and scary stuff for young children!

Check out these fun Hobbit products for Christmas:

Grown Ups 2 is a waste of your money and time

Well, I hate to disappoint you, but Grown Ups 2 isn’t going to win any Oscar’s.  Big surprise, right?  While the first installment of Adam Sandler and his buddies pretending to be responsible parents was a fun, goofy flick, this return will bore and disgust you.  The script appears to have been written on a cocktail napkin while Sandler and his actor pals were all drunk out of their minds.

The all-star comedy cast shows that Saturday Night Live bonds last for many years.  I’m glad they’re all having fun and making millions together, but their humor really should be a little bit more grown up by now, don’t you think?  The film is full of crude jokes about barfs, farts, and every body part imaginable.  Fake boobs and coarse, exaggerated antics fill the screen, along with inane dialogue and gags that dwell too long.

Adam Sandler’s character, Lenny Feder, moves back to where he grew up with all of his buddies played by Chris Rock, Kevin James, and David Spade.  Other favorites in the cast include Salma Hayek Pinault, Maya Rudolph, Steve Buscemi, Colin Quinn, Jon Lovitz, Shaquille O’Neal and, of course, Rob Schneider.  Twilight lovers will cringe when they see Taylor Lautner playing a dumb, mean frat boy with lines that include such gems as “farthead.”

 

Adam Sandler attempts to recapture his youth by spewing out the most juvenile plot while insulting his audience.  It’s vulgar and definitely NOT funny.  Are all of the stars in the movie afraid to tell Sandler how bad this movie really is or do they simply not care?

PG-13 for being stupid and offensive, in addition to all of the other reasons.

Grade = F

Despicable Me 2 is ADORABLE fun for all ages

ADORABLE!!  So cute!   Despicable Me 2 is not just for little kids who think yellow minions are hilarious….and they are.  Adults in the audience I joined were laughing aloud the entire time…and so was I.  The humor is often clever and always goofy.  Something for all ages.

Universal Pictures and Illumination Entertainment grossed more than $540 million with their worldwide blockbuster Despicable Me in 2010.  It became the 10^th biggest animated motion picture in U.S. history.  Based on the reaction I heard during the movie, this is going to be another big hit.

Co-directors, Pierre Coffin and Chris Renaud, lucked out with voice talent in this gag-filled delight.  Steve Carell voices Gru, the evil villain-turned single dad of three “leeetle goils” from the first movie.  SNL star Kristen Wiig provides the sweet voice of Lucy, an Anti-Villain League agent who recruits Gru.  Her lines don’t pack the punch that her talent could provide, but the character is still charming and causes Gru, one of his daughters, and even a minion to fall in love with her.

The mad scientist, Dr. Nefario, is played by Russell Brand.  Silas Ramsbottom (bottom…ha ha) is really the voice of Steve Coogan.  Benjamin Bratt provides the over-the-top sounds of Eduardo, the enthusiastic Mexican restaurant owner inside a mall.  I was so impressed with the animation that featured his perfectly drawn chest hairs and jiggling fat when he danced the Salsa and Tango.  Pay attention to Eduardo’s necklace and tattoo towards the end of the movie….(no spoiler alert).  If the Mexican restaurant in my neighborhood sold Guacamole Chip Hats like Eduardo’s place, I’d be there every day.

I saw the movie with my 22 year old son who is an animation major in college.  We both marveled at the animation talent that created impressively expressive lip movement on all of the characters, moving ocean water, fibers in Gru’s knitted scarf that never left his absent neck, and humorously timed eye twitches.

Look for these hidden Easter egg moments in this funny flick:

*  Villain.com

*  Bruce Lee ping pong tribute with nunchucks

*  Studio Ghibli dancer from My Neighbor Totoro

*  Hugh Jackman shout-out

The dramatic good vs. evil fight towards the end of the movie features gorgeous colors, as well as singing minions in the finale.  You’re going to laugh, sing, and dance your way out of the theater.  Perfect for family fun.

Grade =  A-