Just Getting Started never quite gets started

Movie Title:    JUST GETTING STARTED

Grade:   D

Rating: PG-13, 1 hour 31 minutes

In a Nutshell:   With a promising beginning, this lazy comedy just doesn’t get started.   It’s a disappointing waste of talent and time.

Surprisingly, this is the first time that Tommy Lee Jones and Morgan Freeman have worked in a film together.  I love them both.  

The movie features a playful rivalry between the two as they battle it out for the Alpha male position at a retirement village with Rene Russo as the prize.  Morgan Freeman’s character challenges, “You and I…just getting started.”  Their chemistry is good, but the writing is inconsistent in what could be an entertaining war between the two.

The cast includes other delightful, aging actors, but the star power is much greater than the plot and storytelling.  It’s mostly funny for people aged 60 and over.  Make that 70.

Morgan Freeman’s character sums up his goals, philosophy and this movie when he states, “Sex, booze, golf, and then you die.”

 

Uplifting theme: 

• “Happiness is not a condition.  It’s a choice.”  - Duke (Morgan Freeman)
• Friendship

Things I liked:

• Given that everyone in the audience I sat with probably has some cans of Ensure in their kitchen pantry, I think it’s funny that the movie is produced, in part, by Endurance Media.  Ha ha
• Christmas in Palm Springs includes Santa Claus in board shorts and flip flops, Christmas trees on golf carts, and carolers singing to people in hot tubs.
• Fun cameo performance by Johnny Mathis
• A shout-out for the navigator app “Waze.”  I love that app!  When Google’s navigator got me lost in Panama, Waze saved the day.  True story.

Things I didn’t like:

• It’s just not that funny.  I was so bored that I kept looking at my watch.  Well, I don’t actually wear a watch, but you know what I mean.
• I was surprised that all of the big name stars in the movie would go for such a dumb script.
• If you want to see a better Morgan Freeman “twilight years” movie, rent The Bucket List
• Lots of pointless, boring scenes.
• Sadly, this is Glenne Headly’s last movie.  She died on June 8, 2017.
• Jane Seymour is such a lovely, graceful beauty, but in this movie she plays an over-the-top mob wife who actually looks old and ridiculous.
• You hear the snotty words “Shut up!” MANY times by quite a few characters.  Once might be funny, but over and over is just sloppy writing and makes all of the characters look equally mean spirited.
• Morgan Freeman’s cronies were played by Joe Pantoliano, George Wallace, and Graham Beckel.  Sadly, their talent didn’t add much to this lame comedy.

Interesting lines:

• “A lot of trees have flaws.  So do people.  You can put the bad side of trees against the wall.  What do you do with people?” – Duke Diver (Morgan Freeman)

“That’s deep.” – Jimmy (Nick Peine)

“Write it down.” - Duke

Funny lines:

• “If she falls for a drunk Santa Claus, I badly misjudged her character.” – Leo (Tommy Lee Jones)
• “I need a cup of coffee.” – Duke

“You need a new liver.” – Leo

• “I’m exploring my feminine side.” - Leo

Tips for parents: 

• Tons of jokes about sex.   
• The trio of old women who are included for comic relief constantly throw themselves at the men and are always seen with a glass of alcohol.  Trio of lushes.  Is that like a gaggle of geese?
• Some profanity, including one F-bomb.
• Guns and shooting
• Kids will probably think it’s stupid and just think it’s a movie of a bunch of “old farts.”  Surprisingly, no one actually farts in the movie.

@trinaboice 

The Star illuminates holy with high jinks

Movie Title:   
    The Star

Grade:  B+

Rating: PG, 1 hour 26 minutes

In a Nutshell: Walden Media and Affirm Films (owned by Sony Pictures) present a very sweet animated movie for Christian families this Christmas.  

While the movie isn’t entirely accurate to the actual Bible, The Star is still very well done and a wonderful way to celebrate the reason for this Christmas season, especially with your little ones.

Uplifting theme: 

• “We’re meant for something greater than this.”  - Bo (Steven Yeun)
• “Just because God has a plan doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy.” – Mary (Gina Rodriguez
• “Follow your heart.  Follow the light.  Follow that star.” – The Star - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack sung by Mariah Carey

Things I liked:

• Cute opening with appealing music while we watch the pygmy gerboa bounce around through the town.  Kristen Chenowith is the perfect voice for this adorable creature.
• The animation is simple, yet detailed and rich.  The hair, for example, looks textured and real.
• I have been a fan of Gina Rodriguez since I first started watching her on Jane the Virgin: Season 1, which role actually won her a Golden Globe for Best Actress in a TV Comedy.  She gives Mary a practical voice that is also tender and sweet.
• The wonderful Christopher Plummer voices Herod the King.  It’s so great to hear his voice again.
• Mary named the donkey “Bo”, so of course that caught my attention, because my youngest son’s name is also Bo.  Steven Yeun voices Bo.
• The Star - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack is great with upbeat versions of classic and modern Christmas carols.
• A large part of the movie focuses on talking animals.  They learn and teach each other important life lessons while having silly adventures.
• This is Oprah Winfrey’s 4^th time lending her voice to an animated character.  She plays Deborah the camel.
• This is Walden Media’s first animated film.  
• Mariah Carey voices “Rebecca the hen”, but also wrote and sings the theme song of the movie.  Another singer, Kelly Clarkson voices Leah the horse.
• Other voice talents include Keegan-Michael Key, Tyler Perry, Tracy Morgan, Gabriel Iglesias, Patricia Heaton, Kris Kristofferson, and Anthony Anderson.

Things I didn’t like:

• Christians who know the story will be able to read between the lines.  For example, you hear someone say, “Joseph!”, but you don’t see the angel Gabriel who appeared to him and explained what was happening with Mary.
• Do I dare say it’s a little bland?
• Non-Christians will probably dismiss this movie as rug-rat indoctrination.
• Some of the humor is cliched and falls flat.
• Mary’s espoused husband, Joseph, is a bit whiny and mad a lot.  I always pictured him differently.  He certainly was supportive and kind and had to be amazing in order for God to choose him to raise His son.

Tips for parents: 

• Because the target audience is children, you can expect some poop and fart jokes.
• No profanity.  Very clean.
• The doctrine isn't entirely correct, but it's still a good introduction for little ones to learn the story of Jesus Christ's birth.

@trinaboice 

Merry Christmas from the Movie Review Mom!

Merry CHRISTmas! 

Thank you for reading my blog and movie reviews in 2016! 

 @TrinaBoice




 

Krampus spreads creepy Christmas cheer

Movie:    Krampus

Rating:   PG-13

Grade:   B

In a Nutshell:    Described as a comedy horror, “Silent Night, Deadly Night” is what this movie offers to those who are interested in a more ominous Christmas story than the traditional offerings this time of year.   Krampus is “the shadow of St. Nicolas, a much darker spirit – not to give, but to take.” 

This is what happens when “belief is forgotten and the Christmas spirit dies”, so wear your best Santa hat to the theater.

Uplifting Theme:

·         “Don’t give up on miracles and each other.” - Omi

·         “A shepherd’s gotta protect his flock.” – Howard

·         “It’s not what you do, it’s what you believe.” – Omi

·         “Be good.” - Omi

Things I liked:

·         Krampus is actually a real story from German folklore.  The grandma, Omi, speaks German in the movie to add some authenticity to the tale.  There are subtitles for most of the things she says.

·         The talented cast includes Toni Collette, Adam Scott, David Koechner, and Conchata Ferrell.

·         I liked the Universal Studios and Legendary Pictures logos covered in ice at the very beginning of the movie to let you know it wasn’t going to be your average warm and fuzzy Christmas film.  I always appreciate little details like that.

      If you like images like these, then this movie is for you.  If not, you might want to skip it.  (They were taken at Universal Studios to advertise the new Krampus movie and featured during Halloween when I was there.)

      

    

·         One of the scariest images is watching Christmas shoppers fight and trample each other on Black Friday at the beginning of the movie.   Ha ha   It’s truly frightening how some people treat each other in the pursuit of materialism.

·         SPOILER ALERT:  The teenage daughter played by Stefania LaVie Owen had such a potty-mouth and crappy attitude that I was relieved when she was knocked off first.

·         There are a few jump-out scares that most people will get a kick out of.  I sat all the way through the ending credits, thinking that there would be a jump-out scare to reward loyal audiences, but nope.  The credits did show, however, cute Christmas pictures from the cast and crew of the film.

Things I didn’t like:

·         Aunt Dorothy (played by Conchata Ferrell) had absolutely no redeeming qualities.  It would be a true nightmare to spend Christmas with someone like that.

·         As a mother of 3 Eagle Scouts, I was mad when Howard made fun of Eagle Scouts!

·         The characters all start bickering within minutes of getting together and that’s long before Krampus shows up!  Of course, that’s part of the storyline, but it’s unpleasant to watch.

·         Some of the timing seems off, making for rough transitions.

·         I don’t like watching and hearing babies cry in movies, but this one is pretty cute.

·         Don’t think too hard, because some things simply don’t make sense in this movie.

·         Creepy Advent calendar.

·         The expressions on everyone’s faces at the end of the movie were kind of weird and I wasn’t sure what director Michael Dougherty was trying to say.

Funny lines:  

·         “Maybe they should have to take a test before they’re allowed to breed.” – Sarah

·         “I also believe in dessert before dinner.” – Omi (Grandma)

·         “Where’s the nog?  I need to get merry.” – Aunt Dorothy  

·         “It looks like Martha Stewart threw up in here.” – Aunt Dorothy as she looks at all of Sarah’s Christmas decorations

·         “I never liked kids, even when I was one.” – Aunt Dorothy

Interesting lines:

·         “Why do we have to put up with all their crap just because we share DNA?” – Max (played by the adorable Emjay Anthony)

“Because that’s what family is.” – Tommy

·         “Hot chocolate makes everything better.” – Omi    (True)

Tips for Parents:

·         Quite a bit of profanity, including an F-bomb.

·         There are creepy versions of snowmen, elves, and Santa Clause that might frighten young children.  Kids aren’t going to like Jack-in-the-Box and maybe even gingerbread cookies anymore.
      People, including kids die.
      While the ultimate message is good, it's not a happy, care-free Christmas movie for the entire family.

Tips for surviving a Krampus visit:

·         Keep the fire hot.

·         Get a back-up generator

·         Stock up on firearms and ammo

·         Know where your fire extinguisher is

·         Start believing in Santa Clause again 

Love the Coopers mixes a little bit of humor with a lot of family tension

Movie:    Love the Coopers

Rating:    PG-13

Grade:   B-

In a Nutshell:    Timed perfectly for the holidays, the talented cast gets slogged down with a sappy and predictable script that mixes a little bit of humor with a lot of family tension.  Even so, did it tug at my heart-strings and successfully elicit tears from my eyes.  Yup.

Uplifting Theme:

·          “You can be the hero of your own life.” – Ruby (the lovely Amanda Seyfried)

·         “Try and be the person you want to become.” - Narrator

Things I liked:

·         The cute Christmas/Santa montage at the beginning will quickly get you in the mood for the holidays.

·         While the movie focuses on Christmas, there are several  shout-outs to Hanukkah.

·         As a film critic, I appreciated the discussion that Ruby and Bucky had about an old Charlie Chaplin film and its inspiring ending.

·         The storybook narrator offers interesting insights.  SPOILER ALERT:  The voice is from our beloved Steve Martin!

·         Diane Keaton is timeless.  And she always looks great in a scarf.

·         One of the character’s names is Bo (played by Maxwell Simkins).  That’s my son’s name!

·         Sam (the loveable John Goodman) plays with words that always evoke laughter from the audience.  He lists the famous Christmas reindeer as “Donner and Blitzen and Rudolph and Nixon” and Santa’s brothers as “Panta, Janta, and Mylanta.”

·         The babies in the Maternity ward of the hospital are all dressed as Santa.  Adorable.

Things I didn’t like:

·          Everyone spends the majority of the film lying to each other, hiding things, and being disappointed in one another.  Funny and unpleasant.

·         The family sings Christmas carols together and it’s Diane Keaton who gets a solo….NOT the talented Amanda Seyfried.  What the heck?  Come on!

·         Madison, the little girl played by Blake Baumgartner, says “You are such a D—k” several times.  NOT adorable.

·         There are a couple of offensive Jesus jokes.  Seriously?  Especially at Christmas time?

·         Blatant product placement annoys me so much.  In this film… McCafe.

·         People often offer each other terrible advice.  For example, Bucky the grandpa tells Hank (Ed Helms) to “go out and get some.”

·         I’ve always thought Olivia Wilde was beautiful, but I really hated her arrogant, condescending, disrespectful, dishonest, slutty character, Eleanor.

·         Sloppy French kissing.  Funny, but gross.

·         Interesting title.  And I'm not even talking about the lack of proper punctuation. If the Coopers had just loved each other better, this film wouldn’t exist.  The Coopers spend the entire film “searching for comfort and a little more joy” this Christmas season.

Funny lines:  

·         “You’re way too cute to be a Republican.  Please tell me you’re not one of those Republicans who believes in Fox News, but not evolution.” – Eleanor (Olivia Wilde)

·         “All we’d have to figure out is how long we’ve been together and what’s your name?” – Eleanor

·         “I don’t think volunteering counts if you just talk about it.” – Joe (Jake Lacy)

·         “Calm down.  Man up and let’s lie to my parents.” – Eleanor

·         “That was the best dinner I’ve ever had in my entire mouth.” – Aunt (June Squibb)

Interesting lines:

·         About the holidays:  “Everyone panics, as if you can schedule happiness.” – Bucky (Alan Arkin)

·         “Perhaps it’s unreasonable to expect married couples to grow at the same rate for 40 years.” – Narrator

·         “You love everybody at arm’s length.  Keep it up and you’ll end up alone.” – Bucky  (Alan Arkin)

·         FOMO = “Fear Of Missing Out.”   Is that the new YOLO?

·         “Isn’t it interesting that we want to run from our families and impress them at the same time?” -  Eleanor

·         “Such a fuss when everything we want is right in front of us.” - Bucky

Tips for Parents:

·        The Coopers are definitely NOT role models for your kids:     Infidelity, flatulence, selfishness, lack of respect and kindness.   The good news is that they finally figure it out by the end of the movie.

·         Some profanity and crudeness.

 .

GREAT Christmas movies: