Saturday, April 29, 2017

CHIPS movie is a piece of garbage

Movie Title:  CHiPs

Grade:   F

Rating:  R, 101 minutes

In a Nutshell:  I rarely give a movie an F score, but I thought this movie was a true piece of garbage with very little uplifting value worth noting.  It’s a gutter movie. 

If you want to watch this movie through a filter that cleans up the profanity, violence, and scenes with sexual or other offensive material, this would be a 2 minute clip.

You're better off watching the original TV series.  You can start with CHiPs: The Complete Sixth Season 

Uplifting theme: 
  • Friendship, persistence, loyalty

Things I liked:
  • Michael Pena and Dax Shepard have good chemistry together, but are so much more talented than this film allows them to display.
  • Fans of the original CHiPs TV show will get a kick out of the surprise cameo at the end.
  • I liked seeing Kristen Bell and Maya Rudolph, although both of them play very minor roles and have extremely short screen time.  Why would they sign on to be in such a disgusting film?  Oh yeah…money.

Things I didn’t like:
  • The two main cops are terrible role models.  One is an egotistical, disrespectful sex addict and the other is a slovenly, reckless opiate addict.
  • A LOT of crude humor and offensive material.
  • Lots of screaming and arguing.
  • I’m so sick of yoga pants.  Women and girls don't seem to see how immodest they are.
  • It’s not funny.  It’s offensive in so many ways.

Funny lines:
  • “I’m kind of powerless when it comes to yoga pants.” – Frank “Ponch” Poncerello (Michael Pena)    
  • “Hot and helpful?  See, it doesn’t have to be both.” – Frank “Ponch” Poncherello

Tips for parents: 
  • LOTS of profanity and F-bombs.
  • A VERY close-up text picture of a topless woman and another of a fully naked woman.
  • Talk of homophobia.
  • You see a peek of a naked man in front and other men from behind.  LOTS of crotch shots.
  • Addictions of various kinds.
  • Lots of violence and destruction.
  • Trash talk in Spanish, mostly without subtitles.
  • Quick glance of a naked man’s rear having sex.
  • Adultery
  • It's just disgusting.  Don't let your kids watch it.  If they're interested in cop shows, choose something else.


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