Monday, July 10, 2017

The House is a piece of garbage

Movie Title:  
The House

Grade:  F because it has 3.8 million F-bombs in it (and it's a terrible movie)

Rating: R

In a Nutshell:   Why are so many trashy movies coming out in theaters that glorify extremely bad behavior?  

If you like being assaulted by an F-bomb every 2.7 seconds, watching people throw up and get high, then this raunchy piece of garbage is for you.

Uplifting theme: 
  •  Family
  •  Crime pays? 
  • College is expensive and makes parents go crazy

Things I liked:
  • I liked seeing Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler together again.  Besides their SNL background, they were both in Blades of Glory ten years ago. Honestly, Amy Poehler was better than Will Ferrell in this flick. If you see this in theaters, you'll also see Will Ferrell being featured in the upcoming sequel of Daddy's Home.
  • Jason Mantzoukas was really good in this.  He and Amy Poehler were both in the zany  Parks and Recreation: The Complete Series TV show together.
  • The premise is somewhat interesting, so I was curious what they were going to do with the idea.  I live in Las Vegas, so I'm definitely familiar with the idea that the "house always wins." The movie could have been really interesting.  It wasn't.
  • There is mention of Panera Bread.  Man, I love that place! I thought it about during the rest of the movie.

Things I didn’t like:
  •  It's vulgar and stupid.   
  • You might chuckle a time or two, but it's not very funny.
  • The family is totally into watching The Walking Dead: Season 1.  I was a fan for a few seasons, but I'm over it.  It seems they could have picked a newer TV show to be obsessed about.
  •  This is director Andrew Jay Cohen's first film.  Hopefully, he learns from his mistakes and chooses better writers next time.

Funny lines:
  • “One of us has to be an adult here.  So, you be it.” – Kate Johansen (Amy Poehler)
  • “What about Bob?” – Bob  (Nick Kroll)   The Johansens laugh and refer to the movie Bill Murray was in called What About Bob?.  Bob then says, “Am I the only one who doesn’t get Bill Murray?”  Yes, Bob.  Yes, you are.  By the way, you should see What About Bob? instead of this one.  
  • “Did you just say whom?” – Scott Johansen  (Yeah, I’m a Grammar Nazi too.)

Tips for parents: 
  • TONS of marijuana, cocaine, alcohol, gambling, blood-gushing violence, and vomit. 
  • People flip the bird.
  • Full frontal nudity of men and women walking down the stairs quickly.
  •  This is NOT a movie you could show your family with a filtering service.  You would see about a 5 minute clip after the service wiped all of the garbage out.  This is a true Rated R movie.


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