Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is a strange mash-up

Movie Title:      Pride And Prejudice And Zombies

Grade:   B-

Rating:   PG-13, 1 hour 40 minutes

In a Nutshell:    Why?  I guess writer and director Burr Steers thought “why not?”

Who exactly is the target market for this film: fans of Jane Austin or “The Walking Dead”?  Is there a third category of people who love both?  If so, this movie is their dream come true.

It’s an odd mash-up, for sure, kind of like Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter .   Like that movie, real history is mingled with fiction in flirty fashion.  In the beginning of the movie, we are given a quasi-history lesson which tries to make the rest of the movie make sense.  

We’ve seen many different kinds of zombies in movies and TV shows before, and this movie brings us another version: one that can talk, run fast, and act human…with a British accent.

Uplifting theme: 

•  “My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.” – Elizabeth
• “Keep your swords as sharp as your wits.” – narrator
• True love always wins the day.

Things I liked:

• Matt Smith plays a delightful Mr. Collins, who has some of the best lines in the movie.  He is a hilarious dancer too.
• I adore Lily James.  I first fell in love with her in Cinderella (2015) (Theatrical) . She is a lovely Elizabeth Bennet.
• There is a scene where Elizabeth Bennet catches flies with her fingers as they fly by.  I actually knew a man who could do that.  It was fascinating to watch.
• There’s a funny proposal scene involving punches and a wrestling match.
• SPOILER ALERT:  The zombies gather in St. Lazarus church, which is an appropriate name if you’ve read the Bible.  In fact, there is quite a bit of mention of the Book of Revelations and the Anti-Christ with the attempt to make the story appear more credible.
• I first noticed the delightful Sally Phillips on the British comedy “Miranda”.  She is an equally enjoyable Mrs. Bennet.
• Did you know that Natalie Portman is one of the producers?
• Jack Huston is the perfect Mr. Wickham, as well as the most changed Jane Austin character.  Did you know that he comes from Hollywood royalty on his father’s side of the family (his grandfather was the famous John Huston) and British aristocracy on his mother’s side of the family?  He is currently working on his starring role as Ben Hur in the remake to be released later this year.
• Who doesn’t like proper ladies with swords and pistols?
• One of the tidbits of information we’re given in the history lesson at the beginning includes something true that I only learned last summer when I visited London: there actually was a wall that surrounded the city of London.  Here are a few pictures of London I took on my recent trip there.

Things I didn’t like:

• Men will like watching a cat fight.
• It’s just odd…
• Zombie lovers will be disappointed that there is more Jane Austin than zombie action.
• Jane Austin fans will keep asking “why?”

Funny lines:

• “I was unaware that zombies possessed such acuity so as to set such traps.  Before we know it, they’ll be running for Parliament.” – Mr. Collins (Matt Smith)
• “Daughters do not dance well with masticated brains.” – Mr. Bennet
• “Lady, may I take a moment to compliment you on your pantaloons.  Function or fashion?” – Mrs. Bennet

“Function.” – Lady Catherine

• “Flattery will get you everywhere, Miss Bennet.” – Mr. Collins
• “You have a very small estate here.” – The cocky Lady Catherine  (Lena Headey)

“And yet we endure it.” – Elizabeth

• “May I inquire as to the measure of this discomfort?” – Giardana

“I would much rather show you.” – Elizabeth, getting ready to punch her

• “Mr. Darcy, you’re as unfeeling as the undead.” – Elizabeth 

Interesting lines:

• “Anything is preferred than to be married without affection.” – Elizabeth
• “I’d risk a cold before I’d risk Darcy’s blade.” – Elizabeth
• “My daughters were trained for battle, not the kitchen.” – Mr. Bennet (Charles Dance)
• “Of all the weapons in the world, I now know love to be the most powerful.” –
• “I shall never relinquish my sword for a ring. – Elizabeth

“For the right man, you will.” – Jane Bennet

“The right man wouldn’t ask me to.” – Elizabeth

• “Their hubris will be their downfall.” – captain guy
• “I don’t know which I admire more, Miss Bennet: your skill as a warrior or your resolve as a woman.” – Lady Catherine

Tips for parents:   

• You will hear wonderful types of profanity like “Oh fuddle!” and “Bugger!”
• Homosexual innuendo.
• There’s not as much blood and gore as there is in “The Walking Dead”, but there is still plenty of shootings, stabbings, smashed skulls, and other forms of violence.

 

The Boy could have really thrilled

Movie Title:     The Boy

Grade:  C

Rating:   PG-13, 1 hour 37 minutes

In a Nutshell:    Creepy.  Directed by William Brent Bell, this suspense horror could have gone in a much more interesting direction. Oh well.

Uplifting theme: 

•  Ummm.....don't be a nanny for people who pay you to babysit their weird doll?

Things I liked:

• Walking Dead fans will enjoy watching Lauren Cohan. 
• Creepy music and sound effects.
• You’ll never listen to the Brahms Lullaby the same way again. 
• There is a twist at the end, but nothing we haven't actually seen before.  I saw a movie with a similar ending many years ago.  For what it's worth, I haven't forgotten that movie because it disturbed me so much.  This one isn't done as well though.

Things I didn’t like:

• Full of plenty clichéd jump scares.
• Come on!  Turn the lights on!  Much of the movie is in the dark.
• OF COURSE there is a storm.  OF COURSE the telephone doesn’t work when you need it to. 
• SPOILER ALERT: Lots of running around in the dark.  (yawn)
• It leaves an opening for a sequel.  No thank you.
• Like the movie “The Sixth Sense”, the color red is used a lot, although I didn't catch any great symbolism in this film.
• Once you get to the end of the movie, you realize that a lot of things that happened simply didn't make sense.

Funny lines:

• “It’s something out of a story book, isn’t it?” – Greta     Yeah, like a horror story.  Hasn’t she learned to never go inside creepy looking houses?  Actually, I stayed in a home in England that looked a lot like that.  I couldn’t wait to get out of there.
• “You could have warned me you know?” – Greta        “And ruin the surprise?” – Rupert Evans (Malcolm)

Creepy lines:

•  “Be good to him and he’ll be good to you.  Be bad to him…” – Mr. Heelshire (Jim Norton)
• “Music gives him so much joy.  It’s his world.”  - Mrs. Heelshire (Diana Hardcastle)
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• Tips for parents:   
• For a horror movie, there is no blood and gore.  Yay.
• There is some fighting & stabbing, mostly bloodless.
• You could talk about healthy and unhealthy relationships with your kids.

The Finest Hours features a truly honorable hero

Movie Title:     The Finest Hours

Grade:   B

Rating:   PG-13, 1 hour 57 minutes

In a Nutshell:  
This movie honors the heroes who participated in the greatest small-boat rescue in Coast Guard history.  

Based on the book by the same name, the film seems almost old-fashioned, as if it were made in 1952 when the rescue took place.

Uplifting theme: 

• When life gets hard, we have to have hope and take action.  Casey Affleck’s character, Ray Sybert, says at one point, “I’m scared too.  I got a life just as you.  I just don’t see any point standing around talking about it.”
• Chris Pine’s character, Bernie Webber, states “We all live.  We all die.”  True. We’re all in this thing we call life together, so we might as well help each other.
• The unwavering courage demonstrated in this true story is extremely inspiring.  All of the characters were afraid.  I love the quote attributed to Ambrose Redmoon, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather, the judgement that something is more important than fear.”

Things I liked: 

• Ahhh, Chris Pine.  He gives a solid performance and nails the New England accent. Thankfully, his baby blues were sephia-toned down a bit in this film so that I wouldn’t be so distracted by gawking at them the entire time.
• It's fun to love a bad-boy who kicks butt in an action film, but it’s so refreshing to have a protagonist in a movie who is kind, obedient, and respectful.  Bernie Webber was an incredible man.   
• I love it when a movie includes photographs of the real people in history at the end of the film.  I love it even more when the actors actually look like the people they are portraying, which is the case in this film.
• The sound effects were chilling.
• The special effects are effective and believable.
• Can you imagine how unpleasant the filming conditions must have been for the actors and crew? 
• Actress Holliday Grainger was perfectly cast.  She looked like she really stepped out of the 1950’s.

Things I didn’t like:

• You might get a little bit sea sick.  I had to close my eyes a few times so I wouldn't feel nauseated.
• Sometimes it’s hard to hear what everyone is saying with all of the waves and other things crashing around in the background.
• Bring a jacket to the theater.  Seeing all that snow and icy water might make you cold.
• Although I didn’t know the details of the rescue before I watched the movie, everything was pretty predictable and straight-forward.  There were no surprises.
• It could have used a little bit more of humor.  
• The land scenes are a bit dull, but the ocean scenes are extremely engaging.

Interesting lines:

• “In the Coast Guard they say you go out.  They don’t say you gotta come back.” – Bernie Webber
• “Just relax and be patient.” – Bernie, teaching Miriam how to dance.  That was kind of his philosophy throughout the entire ordeal.

Tips for parents:   

•  This is a serious film.  Although it’s a Disney movie, it definitely does not have a light-hearted “happily-ever-after” tone to it.
• There are some deaths and tense moments that might frighten very young children.

   

Kung Fu Panda 3 shares insights on fatherhood and self-worth

Movie Title:       Kung Fu Panda 3

Grade:  A-

Rating:  PG, 1 hour 40 minutes        

In a Nutshell:  I loved the first one and don't even remember what happened in the second one, but this new addition in the Kung Fu Panda franchise should get a thumbs up from fans of all ages.  It builds on the fun tradition of the Panda movies and adds new, delightful characters that top off the trilogy.

I got to meet James Hong recently at an event I attended.  In Kung Fu Panda , he plays Mr. Ping, Po’s adopted goose father, who has some profound insights into fatherhood in this installment of the animated trilogy.  There are also some very sweet messages about self-worth and unconditional love.  It's a fun family film everyone will enjoy.

Here's a picture of  James Hong and I together:

Uplifting theme: 

•  “If you never do more than you can do, you will never be more than you are now.” – Shifu (Dustin Hoffman)
• “Your real strength comes from being your best you.” – Po (Jack Black)
• “When will you realize the more you take, the less you have?” – Oogway (Randall Duk Kim)
• “Before the battle of the fist, comes the battle of the mind.” – Shifu
• “No matter what kind of animal you are, change starts with you.” - Shifu

Things I liked:

• Beautiful colors and scenery.
• Cute transitions between scenes.
• Absolutely adorable Dreamworks logo presentation at the beginning of the movie.
• There was a lot of discussion about inner peace and chi.  Chi is described as power and the energy that flows through all living things.  Shifu explains that mastery of chi is mastery of self.  That's something we all need to work on.  Well, at least I do!
• Watch the rolling credits at the end and you’ll notice that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s children are some of the voice actors!  Voice talents of some of the other new characters include the amazing Bryan Cranston, J.K. Simmons and Kate Hudson.
• There is an elegance about this movie that successfully captures the search for inner peace, nature, and understanding that many Asian cultures are known for.
• The Hans Zimmer score was really nice.

Things I didn’t like:

•  Some of the chaotic mayhem gets a little tiresome.
• It’s never quite explained how Po’s father lived, yet his mother did not.
• It was nice to have a lot of new characters introduced, some of them absolutely adorable, although that gave less time for the original cast to shine.  Even Jack Black's panda got overshadowed at times.
• The song at the end kind of the movie cracked me up.  It’s the 1974 Carl Douglas hit song Kung Fu Fighting but with the words changed to: “Everyone is Kung Fu Fighting.  Our chi is what we’re finding…”
• The transition from mortality to beyond and back is a bit...fuzzy.
• Without all of the adorable pandas to go crazy over, this third film would have probably ended in a thud.  Watch the sale of stuffed panda bears skyrocket!
• I would have loved to see more of Kate Hudson's new panda character Mei Mei.  Her confidence was hilarious.

Funny lines:

•  “I’ve always thought I wasn’t eating up to my full potential.” – Po
• “You’ll never be able to save the world on an empty stomach.” – Ping
• “We’re pandas.  We don’t do stairs.” – Li

“I’ve waited my whole life to hear those words.” – Po

• “Just a little more confusing, Master, and you’ll be the next Oogway.” – Shifu
• “I think I just peed a little.” - Po

Interesting lines about fatherhood:

• “Your son got mad at you.  Welcome to parenthood.” – Mr. Ping (James Hong)
• “Having you in his life doesn’t mean less for me.  It means more for him.” – Mr. Ping to Li

Tips for parents:   

• This is a safe family film for all ages.  The villain, Kai, is somewhat comical at times and even the bad “jade zombies” aren’t scary.
• No profanity. 
• Expect your kids to start asking about taking Kung Fu lessons.
• This is a great opportunity to teach your children about Ying/Yang, balance in life, and the need for opposition in all things for growth.

Ride Along 2 is a lazy sequel

Movie Title:     Ride Along 2

Grade:  D for Dumb

Rating:  PG-13, 1 hour 42 minutes

In a Nutshell:    If you liked the first one, you’ll laugh again.  If you thought the first Ride Along was lame and annoying, then you’ll definitely want to skip this one.  Produced by Ice Cube, this action flick features lazy mayhem, Kevin Hart’s exaggerated physical comedy, and tired shenanigans.

Uplifting theme: 

•  Family matters.

Things I liked:

• This buddy cop sequel features Ice Cube and Kevin Hart, who undoubtedly have great chemistry together.
• Tika Sumpter is beautiful.
• Lots of fun music.
• The cell phone scene in the store was pretty funny.  You know you’re low on someone’s “favorites” list if the ring tone they select for you is the Apple default.   
• Benjamin Bratt and Olivia Munn join the ensemble.

Things I didn’t like:

• Ken Jeong can always be counted on for nasty laughs.  Did you know he was actually a doctor?  He has a new TV sitcom coming out based on his real life called “Dr. Ken.”
• Lots of rude and bad behavior.
• Kevin Hart is both adorable and annoying.  This is not his best movie.
• Lots of irritating screaming and nonsense.

Funny lines:

• “I don’t compliment no marshmallow.” – James Payton (Ice Cube)
• “Do you ever hear the XXX that flies out of your mouth?” - James

“No.” – Ben Barber (Kevin Hart)

• “Quiet.  The adults are talking.” –Lt. Brooks (Bruce McGill)
• “Look at me.  Don’t look at me.  Look at me.  Don’t look at me…that was a test.” – Ben
• “I’d love a wonton or two.  It’s not racist if I say it.” – A.J. (Ken Jeong)

Tips for parents:   

• Lots of scantily clad women.  Tons.
• Lots of profanity.  Tons.
• Pre-marital relations.
• Lots of shooting and fighting.

The 5th Wave mixes elements from every dystopian teen movie you've seen before

Movie Title:  THE 5th WAVE

  5th Wave, The

Grade:  C

Rating:  PG-13, 1 hour 52 minutes

In a Nutshell:    I think this is the 5^th wave of teen dystopian movies.  Unfortunately, it’s nothing you haven’t seen already with elements from Red Dawn (I loved the first one), Independence Day (loved the first one), Divergent (liked the first one), and even The Walking Dead (horrified and then addicted to the first one). 

Those drones aren’t the ones from Amazon.  It’s another teens vs. grownups movie….um…teens vs. aliens movie.  Of course, the teens are smarter than both grownups and aliens. 

Cassie asks rhetorically, “How do you rid the earth of humans?  First, you rid the humans of their humanity.”  Or…you make really dumb movies so they want to kill themselves.

Uplifting theme: 

• “Love’s not a trick.  It’s real.” – Evan Walker (Alex Roe-Brown)
• “The others see our hope as a weakness, as a delusion, but they’re wrong.  It’s our hope that lets us survive, that lets us bend, but remain unbroken.  It’s our hope that will let us win some day.  It’s our hope that makes us human.” – Cassie (Chloe Grace Moretz)

Things I liked:

•  I’ve always liked Chloe Grace Moretz, who plays Cassie, the heroine in the story.  She has quite a long film history, considering how young she is.
• Some of the transitions were cool.
• I always like a good twist.
• I liked the version of “I was born in a thunderstorm” song at the end.

Things I didn’t like:

• Some of the special effects look pretty lame.
• Some of the acting was really terrible.  Black eye-linered Maika Monroe’s character, Ringer, was so clichéd and stiff that it was laughable.  So was Maria Bello’s character, Sergeant Reznik.
• Cookie-cutter romance scene where someone accidentally stumbles upon a good-looking person bathing in a lake. 
• Zackary Arthur sure is adorable, but needs time to develop his acting skills.
• There are a lot of really dark scenes that make it hard to see what’s happening.
• SPOILER:  Unfortunately, the movie ends with a wink to a sequel.  Uggg.  Please don’t let there be a 6^th wave.
• The trailer shows scenes that don’t actually play in the movie.  Odd.  Did I blink and miss them?
• Did you see the poster for the movie “Big Fish”?   Was it a random ad placement or is there some reason behind it?  Does anyone know?
• An awkward love triangle made me laugh out loud.  Are the directors hoping to spur on a fan debate like we saw with the Twilight series?  I mean, why would you choose Ben Parish when Evan Walker is an option?   (wink)
• Dumb character names like Dumbo, Fintstone, Poundcake.
• The first act was actually pretty compelling, but then it turned into every other dystopian YA movie you've ever seen.  What a shame.

Funny lines:

• “Are we still alive?” – Teacup

“I think so.” – Zombie

• “You want me to shoot you?” – Ringer

“Don’t pretend you haven’t thought about it.” - Zombie

• “I was named after Ben & Jerry’s.  Truth!  Nothing made him happier than ice cream.”  - Ben Parish/Zombie (Nick Robinson)

Interesting lines:

• “No more everything we took for granted.” – Cassie
• “I thought we were safe here.” - Cassie

“Pumpkin, there’s nothing safe anymore.” – Oliver Sullivan (Ron Livingston)

• “We’re not fighting the 5^th wave.  We ARE the 5^th wave.” – Zombie

Tips for parents:   

• Some profanity, shooting, and blood.
• Lots of guns and shooting.  LOTS.

Woodlawn blends football with faith

Are you ready for some football?   The Superbowl is coming up soon, so I thought I'd review a football movie you may have missed when it hit theaters a few months ago.

Movie Title:     Woodlawn

Grade:  A-

Rating:  PG, 2 hours 3 minutes

In a Nutshell:    Based on a true story, Woodlawn High School’s glory emerges out of faith during the race wars in the 1960’s and 70’s. Directed by siblings Jon and Andrew Erwin, this film creates a powerful mixture of religion and gridiron drama.     

This is one of the better Christian movies I’ve seen in awhile.  It’s kind of like a Sunday School lesson with some football added in.  But it’s a really good Sunday School lesson. 

We’re told by the narrator, “Something’s bigger than football, bigger than winning.”  Sean Astin’s character (Hank) explains, “This is what happens when God shows up.”

Uplifting theme: 

•  The movie begins with a quote by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.:

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that.

Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”

• “Some call what happened here a miracle, and there is only one explanation, only one way any of this could have happened.” – Coach Gerealds  (Nic Bishop)
•  “Rise up!” – preacher (DeVon Franklin)
• “Believe.  No fear.” – written on one of the player’s helmets
• “Adversity is the crucible of greatness.” – Coach Gerelds

Things I liked:

• Great sweeping music by Paul Mills.  Sometimes it’s a bit overdone for the moment, but I still really enjoyed it.
• Football fans will get to see some cool plays and crunches.  I’m always amazed how they film those scenes.
• I love the demonstration of the candles in the stadium.  Change can begin with only one person.  Expect to see Christians holding up 1 finger often.
• We tend to see the same actors in Christian movies, but this film introduces us to a lot of new faces, including Nic Bishop, who plays a likeable Coach Tandy Gerelds and the fantastic Caleb Castille, who plays Tony Nathan.
• I love Sean Astin in anything.  (How could you not love Mr. Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings?)
• Jon Voight and Sherri Shepherd play small roles, but are both nice additions.
• The relationships that are built are sweet and inspiring.  You care about the characters and their journey and growth.
• The “Jesus Revolution” really was featured in Time Magazine.  The very end of the movie shows footage from the famous stadium event that started it all, as well as an invitation to join the movement, listing dates in 2016 with websites for more information.  One thing I really admire about Christian movies lately is that they leave audiences with a call to action.

Things I didn’t like:

• It’s definitely heavy on the preaching side.
• It’s fairly predictable, but still stirring.

Interesting lines:

• “A time and a place for everything.  Ain’t that what the good book says?” – Paul Bryant (Jon Voight)
• “Winning fixes just about everything, doesn’t it?” – Coach Gerelds
• “Let me tell you something Jesus said: ‘I am the way.  I am the truth.  I am the light.’ And that means something to me, because I let it mean something to me.” – Hank
• “I’m asking you to choose Jesus.  Can you do that?  Will you do that?” – Hank
• “What just happened?” – Coach Gerelds
• “I just let an untrained religious nut convert the whole team.  The whole team.” – Coach Gerelds

“Is that good or bad?” –  Debbie (Virginia Williams)

“I don’t know.” – Coach Gerelds

• “Why don’t you all go out there and show me what you believe.” – Coach Gerelds
• “Maybe God is testing us to see if our commitment is real, not just to win football games.” – Hank
• “When you play for yourself, you can be great, but when you play for something higher than yourself, something extraordinary can happen.” – Hank
• “I believe in what I can see.” – Coach Gerelds

“With all respect Coach, you better start looking around.” – Banks Assistant Coach (Danny Vinson)

“What is more important than winning football games?  You are.”  - Coach Gerelds

• “Do you believe in miracles?” – customer in insurance store

“Yes, I do.  I am one.” – Coach Gerelds

•  National Geographic wrote about the big game that’s featured in this movie as being “undeniably spiritual, supernatural even.” 

Tips for parents:   

• Birmingham bombings are mentioned in the beginning to show the terrible state of race relations that existed in 1970.  Young children and even teens may not know about those historical, turbulent times in Alabama.
• You might need to explain the principle of “separation of church and state” that this movie discusses.
• No profanity.  How refreshing.