Adam Sandler grows up just a bit in Blended

Movie Title:  Blended

PG-13, 1 hour 57 minutes

Grade:  B-

In a Nutshell:   

Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore are paired together in their third romantic comedy.  She seems to make him better. Despite Adam’s expected crass humor and offensive stereotypes, the film has some genuine laughs and several sweet moments and a family message.  I can’t believe Sandler was able to get me to shed a tear during this film.  In one scene, Drew Barrymore sings a sweet lullaby in a touching moment that surprised me. 

Uplifting theme: 

• "Love is a many blended thing."
• “Being a man ain’t about pissing and moaning about everything, but dealing with what’s in front of you.”  While that’s not exactly poetic, Adam Sandler offers a lesson to boys about how to be a man.
• “You gotta show up for your kids.  It’s gotta be boring how reliable parents are.”  Jim 
• Family is everything.

Things I liked:

• Terry Crews is hilarious and borderline disgusting in every film he does.  His character, Nickens, suddenly appears at random moments, dancing and chest-bouncing his way through scenes to the delight of the audience.
• I loved “visiting” Africa.  I’d love to have dinner under the stars underneath that beautiful canopy in Africa at the resort.
• Drew Barrymore is aging gracefully and looked beautiful in this film.
• Alyvia Lind is absolutely adorable and should have a bright future in Hollywood.
• Maybe Adam Sandler really is growing up.  He shot a scene with the kids laughing on a vibrating bed, rather than making it a dirty scene with predictable sex jokes.
• Riding an ostrich is on my Bucket List.  Now, vacationing at the Sun City Resort in South Africa is on that list too. 
• Adam Sandler is unexpectedly endearing when his daughter puts stickers all over his face.  Maybe this was inspired by a real life moment with his two daughters, Sunny and Sadie.
• Check out the animal carvings in the chair backs at the African resort dining area.

Things I didn’t like:

• Knowing your ticket purchase paid for Adam Sandler’s luxurious trip to Africa is a bit annoying. (Actually, I saw the movie for free, but I was still annoyed.)
• There was a lot of merchandising in the movie.  I wonder how much Hooters had to pay for their heavy advertising and prominent role in the flick.  I did think the Hooters monkey band was pretty funny though.  I’m assuming Adam Sandler selected Dick’s Sporting Goods for his film because he thought the name was hilarious.  Grow up Adam.
• The film abounds with ridiculously contrived scenarios.
• Have you ever seen a gigantic giraffe tongue?  Now you will.  Ick.
• I suppose it’s not a proper Adam Sandler flick without at least one Transvestite.

Funny lines:

• “I own him.”  - Lou tells Lauren about her ability to manipulate her dad.
• “You just scared a zebra stripe in my pants.”  - Jim
• “Three second rule!”  - Who knew that counts when you drop a kid?
• “You should Rufie her and shave her head.” – Jen
• “We both need this.”  - Jim when he fist bumps his daughter

Tips for parents:   Classic Adam Sandler fills this flick with sex jokes and inappropriate humor.  This is not a family-friendly film, despite being about blended families.  There are just too many things I would not want my young children to see or hear in this movie. Adam Sandler movies with Drew Barrymore:


 

Disney offers a magical Maleficent to a new generation

Movie Title:  Maleficent

PG, 1 hour 37 minutes

Grade:  A-

In a Nutshell:  This magical Disney retelling of Sleeping Beauty (1959) begins “Let us tell an old story anew and we shall see how well you know it.”  The beautiful textures and fantastic artistry of this untold fairy tale creates such wonder that I knew I wanted to watch the movie again within 5 minutes of the opening.

Sure, there are some flaws in the story, but Angelina’s performance as villain and heroine is commanding (although her accent waivers at times).  There is a delightful touch of humor, as well as enough of a twist in the story to keep you interested.  Both Stefan and Maleficent steal “something far more precious than a jewel” because of different motivations, one learning life’s valuable lessons along the way and the other becoming more and more entranced with power.  Which one is which?

 

In a sense, Maleficent is to Sleeping Beauty (1959) what Wicked is to The Wizard of Oz (but without all the singing.)  Angelina Jolie describes Maleficent as "deliciously wicked."  Loyal Sleeping Beauty fans will feel betrayed, but I don't mind a new spin on a story I "thought" I knew.

 Uplifting theme: 

• Following on the heels of Frozen’s successful twist of “true love’s kiss”, young girls will be reminded not to wait for a handsome prince to truly live.
• Forgiveness is far greater than revenge.  We’ve all been wounded or felt betrayed by someone in our lives; the challenge is to not let it change us.
• Guys, don’t treat a woman’s heart lightly.  Consider the warning in Congreve’s phrase “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

Things I liked:

• I loved seeing “every manner of strange and wonderful creatures” in the moor at the beginning of the movie.  The phantasmic girls who danced above the water were stunning. There is so much to see in the first 10 minutes.
• Maleficent’s emerald eyes are mesmerizing. And those red lipstick lips...
• Maleficent is able to freeze people in a dream-like state, floating their bodies around in the air to move them to a new location.  It’s a very cool effect and magic power I wish I had.
• The three fairy sisters are adorable, both as fairies and (SPOILER ALERT) humans.  I love the little blue butterflies that circle around Flittle in both of her forms.
• I have a son who designs video games, so I especially notice the small details on weaponry and animated characters now.  I thought the talon-like points on Maleficent’s wings were uber cool.
• I love being able to see Maleficent’s fierce horns on her head before they’re covered by the silky, black headdress.  Notice her elf-shaped ears underneath the fabric.  
• Elle Fanning is lovely and fills the character of Aurora with light.  Her kindness and sweetness is so pure and sweet that it unnerves Maleficent and provides a contrast that draws you in.  In an interview with ScreenSlam, Elle reveals that out of all the Disney princesses, she personally relates the most to Sleeping Beauty and would choose those costumes to wear as a little girl.  When asked to select one word to describe the entire film, Elle said “Whimsical.”  Good choice!
• Angelina Jolie's own daughter, Vivian, is in the movie, playing Maleficent as a toddler.  Jolie admits it was awkward to say to her daughter "I don't like children" while dressed in devil horns.

Things I didn’t like:

*  I didn’t really care for Maleficent’s carved cheekbones.  I’ve never seen Angelina Jolie more beautiful than in The Tourist .  Angelina brings a sexy elegance to the role of Maleficent.
*  The script didn't develop Maleficent's motivation for saving the baby.  After her vicious spell, it was odd that she suddenly became curious and visited the baby in the countryside cabin.  She continued to call the baby a "beastie", yet she had a tender spot for the baby even from the beginning.  Disney's intentional attempt to show that even the most evil villain has good inside?

 Interesting lines:

• “Don't listen to him, Baltizar.  You’re classically handsome” said the young Maleficent to an old, gnarled tree creature after a human said he was hideous to look at.  By the way, you’ll get a kick out of his African-sounding clicking language.
• A handsome prince wanders through the forest and says to Maleficent “I’m looking for a girl.”  She sneers “Of course you are.”
• “I was so lost in hatred and revenge.  You stole what was left of my heart.”  - Maleficent
• “There is an evil in this world: hatred and revenge.” – Maleficent
• Princess Aurora says to a hidden Maleficent “Don’t be afraid.”  Maleficent states “I am not afraid.”  Aurora invites “Then come out.”  Warns Maleficent “Then you’ll be afraid.”
• “Oh come on….that was funny.”  - Maleficent
• “Oh look.  The little beastie is about to fall off the cliff.”  - Maleficent
• “I need you to be my wings.”  - Maleficent to Diaval
• “Oh dear.  What an awkward situation.” - Maleficent

Tips for parents:  This family flick provides a villain that isn’t too scary for little ones, but has some violence for its PG rating.  Other things that children will see include a fire-breathing dragon, sword fights, vengeance, anger, sibling fighting, and jealousy.

 

The vocabulary word for the day for your kids is MALEFICENT: doing evil or harm; harmfully malicious; causing or capable of producing evil or mischief

The Quiet Ones Inspires a Noisy Audience

Movie Title:   The Quiet Ones

PG-13, 1 hour 38 minutes

 

Grade:   C

In a Nutshell:  This is a campy horror film that is inspired by supposed true events.  Led by the talented Jared Harris of Mad Men: Seasons 1-4 and Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows , this creepy movie has all the familiar ingredients: mysterious noises coming from cob-webbed rooms in a dimly-lit house, scary gags that make you jump in your seat, sinister characters that make you laugh nervously, and a plot that unravels if you shine the light on it.

 

The movie title certainly wasn’t referring to the audience I sat with.  The teenagers in the audience yelled “OMG!”, screamed, laughed, and commented loudly on every scene, providing additional entertainment in an otherwise empty theater.  During the scene where an older man and younger girl kiss, one of the girls in the audience yelled “Get out!”  Whenever something unbelievable would happen, another teen in the audience would scream “Shut up!”  ha ha

 

Theme: 

• Who is the REAL crazy one? 
• Talk about manifesting your negative energy!

Things I liked:

 

• Director John Pogue successfully creates an atmosphere that provides an air of ethereal history.
• Nice touch to show artifacts and old photographs at the end of the film.
• It’s a good movie for teens to watch on DVD on a Friday night when they want to laugh and be scared at the same time during a party with their friends. 

Things I didn’t like:

• It’s ironic that a movie entitled The Quiet Ones spends so much time cranking up the volume on screams to get a reaction out of the audience.
• The jiggly camera effects made me more dizzy than scared.
• Everyone in the movie is always crying or sweating. 
• A bit predictable.  Even the twist ending isn’t original.

 

Interesting  lines:

• “You’re scared because you can’t explain what you’ve seen.”  - Professor Joseph Coupland
• “It’s human nature to question and be skeptical.” – Professor Joseph Coupland
• “He saved me from myself.”  - Jane Harper

Tips for parents:  Despite its PG-13 rating, the movie will give young kids nightmares.  There is very little profanity.

Is "Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return" worth the wait?

Movie Title:   Legends of Oz

PG, 1 hour 28 minutes

Grade:    C

In a Nutshell:   

The talented Lea Michele from Glee brings to life a Dorothy who has returned to Oz to fight another colorful villain and save the day.  The cast of legendary voices includes Martin Short, Patrick Stewart, Bernadette Peters, Dan Aykroyd, Oliver Platt, Jim Belushi, Kelsey Grammer, and Megan Hilty.  Unfortunately, the story doesn’t measure up to their tremendous talent, but offers a diversion for young children who want to see what’s on the other side of the marketing rainbow.

The sequel was written by the original author’s grandson.  I wonder what L. Frank Baum would have thought of it.  It had a Cirque du Soleil: The Mystery of Mystere feel to it, introducing new characters and throwing a spin on the old ones.  In a nutshell: harmless, but charmless.

Uplifting theme: 

• Loyalty, service to others, fighting evil, friendship
• Dorothy said “There will always be a rainbow when you need one most.”

Things I liked:

• I liked the visual details of the grass in between the yellow bricks.
• I got a kick out of the tree with pinecone earrings and the other one with the Reggae dreadlocks.
• Fireflies ARE magical.
• Nice design on Tugg’s sail.
• I LOVE details in animation.  China Princess had the most delicate little lips that quivered with emotion.
• There were some 3D gags which little ones will enjoy.

Things I didn’t like:

•  The songs aren’t catchy enough to convince young girls to stop singing the soundtrack from Frozen a million times a day.
• It doesn’t have the heart of the original The Wizard of Oz .
• It lacks clever wit and magical charm.
• The China Princess is not an endearing character that little girls should emulate.  Glenda, on the other hand, will do well in merchandising because she was so cute and sweet.
• I didn’t understand the airbrush checkered shirt on Wiser the Owl.  Why?
• Dorothy’s face looked too old, but I loved her cowboy boots!
• It was a strange mixture of cartoony animation and more sophisticated drawings.
• The rolling credits at the end included a gigantic list of names the film was dedicated to.  Doesn't that kind of water down the sentiment?

Funny lines:

• “You can’t make a person do that against his will.  Dancing is very personal.”  - Tin Man

Tips for parents:

• It’s a fairly harmless story with a villain who is more mean than scary.
• Keep watching during the credits to see the rest of the story unfold.

Godzilla proves to be a monster at the Box Office

Movie Title:  Godzilla [HD]

PG-13, 2 hour 3 minutes

Grade:    A-

 

In a Nutshell:   I love it when a movie trailer doesn’t reveal major plot points in an upcoming movie so that you’re pleasantly surprised.  Godzilla [HD] has all of the intensity, stunning visual effects, impressive sound design and suspense you’ve been wanting from this franchise for years.  Suspend your disbelief and enjoy the monstrous fun.

Box office sales proves that, just like Godzilla, this movie franchise won't die.

Uplifting theme: 

• There are good monsters and bad monsters.  Humans too.  Awww.
• There are nice examples in the flick of heroism, loyalty, sacrifice, and honor.

Things I liked:

• Disaster movie lovers will get a kick out of watching Las Vegas and San Francisco get destroyed.  Great special effects.  I loved the TV ticker line “Breaking News: Live Terror in Vegas!”
• The movie makes it current by including present-day concerns about compromised Japanese nuclear power plants being a danger to nearby communities and beyond.
• I liked how it tried to wrap the story around the 1954 Godzilla movie’s fear of the atomic age.
• Bryan Cranston makes everything better.
• Monsters Director Gareth Edwards is great at creating chaos and pandemonium.
• I watched it in IMAX 3D, which offers some moments when I really felt inside the movie.  At one point, I thought an audience member was standing in front of me and I almost asked him to move, but then realized it was the 3D effect.
• Go Army!
• (SPOILER ALERT)  I loved it when a “certain” monster glowed with fire inside.  Godzilla spews cool blue fire.
• I loved the scene where the skydivers dropped from the clouds, trailing red flares.
• Aaron Taylor-Johnson conveniently arrives in the right place at the right time to offer the ongoing thread that keeps the human story running alongside the monsters.  He’s likeable enough to get the job done as hero and provides another shout-out to the real everyday heroes in today’s U.S.Army.  My oldest son is an officer in the Army, so can I get a “Hooah!”?
• It was clever to show old movie clips in the beginning to bring newbies to the Godzilla franchise up to speed.
• One of the few funny moments of the flick featured some Japanese parents in an airport getting annoyed at their Emo kid.
• I loved seeing the city and aerial views of Tokyo.
• One of the best lines in the movie was when a Japanese doctor gets to say “We call him… Godzirra.”
• There are a few scene transitions that made the audience laugh out loud because they were expecting to see a real monster, but instead, saw a pet chameleon and a toy dinosaur.

Things I didn’t like:

• Audiences can’t help but compare this film to last summer’s blockbuster Pacific Rim .  They’re both fun, but Pacific Rim had some fresh elements that Godzilla [HD] can’t compete with (uber cool, digital kaiju, gigantic robot soldier fight scenes).  Click here for my review of Pacific Rim.
• While the 1998 Mathew Broderick version felt more like a cartoon, this one is full of drama.  In fact, it needs a touch of humor to offset the fact that it takes itself so seriously.
• The back story provided some meat, but was a bit contorted at times.
• Not nearly enough monster fight scenes.  Not nearly enough Godzilla.  He almost plays a supporting role.
• Dr. Ishiro Seriwaza does two things well in the movie: utter profound statements about Godzirra, and stare in disbelief with his mouth open.
• Thanks for the uncomfortable reminder that I live near Yucca Mountain...

Interesting lines:

• “The arrogance of man is thinking nature is under our control and not the other way around.” – Dr. Ishiro Seriwaza
• “The king of monsters is the savior of our city.”
• “Nature has a power to restore its bounds.  I believe he is that nature.”  - Dr. Ishiro Seriwaza

Tips for parents: 

• Loving married relationships instead of sexual content is refreshing.
• Very mild profanity that’s hardly noticeable because so many other things are going on.
• Lots of destruction and monster violence.  That's what you came to see though, right?

Vampire Academy now on DVD for those suffering Twilight withdrawals

The newest DVD to hit store shelves this week is:

Movie Title:   Vampire Academy

PG-13, 1 hour 45 minutes

Grade:   C-

 

In a Nutshell:   Juno meets Harry Potter meets Twilight meets Mean Girls meets terrible movie.  It could have been fun if it were designed to be a spoof.  Alas, brothers Daniel and Mark Waters have created crass characters with lots of hormones and little class.  It could be considered a guilty pleasure if you’re a teenager girl who has read the book and can’t get enough of vampire flicks.

 

Uplifting theme:   In the words of (NO spoiler alert): “Blood is what connects us all.  Blood is sustenance.  Blood is family.  Blood is pain and blood is death.” 

Things I liked:

• Ummm…

 Things I didn’t like:

• Snarky dialogue that tried too hard to be cool.
• Monologuing villains
• The ending leaves an opening for a sequel.  Please, no!

 Funny lines:

• “Stopping is for losers.”  -  Rose
• “A female, especially one who lives off of blood and magic, is going to have her mood swings.”  - Rose
• “They say Dimitri is a God.  Well, I’m an Atheist…an atheist with a big gun.” = Spiridion
• “Please don’t say Vampire Academy.  You know how I feel about the V word.” – Lissa Dragomire
• “Weird doesn’t begin to cover it.” – Rose
• “Stop staring at each other all gooey-like.”  - Rose
• “There’s a fine line between concerned and stalker.” - Rose

Tips for parents:   Lots of sassy words on the verge of profanity, inappropriate topics for young kids, pre-marital relations, talk of losing virginity, blood, violence.  Maybe the books are better?

The Other Woman offers estrogen-filled gal pal laughs

Movie Title:  The Other Woman

Grade:  B

PG-13, 1 hour 49 minutes

In a Nutshell:   

A woman’s guilty pleasure is to see a two-timing, adulterous scumbag get what’s coming to him.  It kind of gives “screwball comedy” another meaning.  This movie is all about revenge, girl power and the unconditional friendships that women crave and need.  The target audience is truly the stiletto crowd on a Girls Night Out.

Uplifting theme:   

• No woman deserves to be lied to and cheated on.
• A woman needs to be happy with herself and not rely on a man to do it for her.

Things I liked:

• Kate (Leslie Mann) brings Boston Market take-out to Carly (Cameron Diaz).  I haven’t eaten that since I lived on the east coast.  Yum.
• The audience loved it when Kate took off her bathrobe, revealing a black spy suit accompanied by the Mission: Impossible theme music.
• There is a lot of silly physical comedy featuring Leslie Mann and Cameron Diaz.  They have some great chemistry together and who doesn’t want to see them chest-bump in an ode to female empowerment?
• Guys just can’t truly appreciate the estrogen meltdown scenes like when Carly puts on her old wedding dress and gets drunk in a pity party, while squirting whip cream into her mouth through her toile veil.

Things I didn’t like:

• Watching a Great Dane poop.  Ick.  The slobbery giant’s name is Thunder and is really a handsome creature.  The audience howled with laughter.
• How nice that all of the parties involved were super rich and had amazing cars and houses.  I suppose it wouldn’t have been a comedy if they were all living in low-income housing.
• It’s strange to see Miami Vice: The Complete Series leading man, Don Johnson, as such an old guy now.  Of course, his character is still a romancer.
• Sure, there are messy problems with the movie, but you won’t mind too much if you’re watching it with your gal pals and eager to laugh at a silly chick flick.
• You don't realize Leslie Mann and Cameron Diaz are aging until you see Kate Upton.

Interesting lines:

• “Cheaters don’t change.” – Carly     Do you think that’s true?
• “Cry on the inside like winners.”  - Carly tries to teach Kate how to show strength during sorrow, but instead, Kate comically grimaces while attempting her brave face.

Funny lines:

• “If we find anymore mistresses, I’m going to have to send her to rehab.” – Carly
• “She makes me look like I’m wearing a diaper.” – Carly when she sees Amber for the first time.
• “I’m like Martha Stewart, but with big underpants.” - Kate
• “It’s a light recon day.” – Kate    Her brother Phil (Taylor Kinney) looks at her bag on the table and says “A grappling hook?  Really?”
• Kate says to Carly “No, you can’t have my husband AND my brother.  No! That’s just…no…greedy.”
• “My situation is pretty well situated, it’s true.” – Carly

Interesting references:

• Carly’s dad mentions eating Pho in Vietnam, a reference I wouldn’t have even understood before last weekend when my family went to a Vietnamese restaurant to try it for the first time.  It was delicious!  Find out if there is a Vietnamese restaurant in your town that serves it.  It’s kind of a soup with noodles and meat of various kinds.  They bring you a plate with bean sprouts, cilantro, lemon, pepper and sauces to add to taste.
• Carly says “I had a little Edith Piaf moment.”   Edith was a French singer who had quite a dramatic life.  Some of her songs have been featured in recent movies such as in Saving Private Ryan , , Bull Durham , and Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted .

Tips for parents:   The subject matter of this film is really not appropriate for children.  There was quite a bit of profanity, although no F-bombs, which allowed it to be rated PG-13.  Although girl power is a theme, I would not recommend taking your daughters to see this.  There is a lot of discussion about sex and the many sordid aspects of it, not to mention adultery and fornication.