Captain Phillips receives heroic praise

Movie Title:  Captain Phillips

In a Nutshell:  This intense docudrama of the Maersk Alabama hijacking keeps you on the edge of your seat, an especially impressive feat, considering the movie is over two hours long.  I kept imagining myself in each situation, wondering what I would have done, sure I would have been toast in mere minutes.  Each decision has consequences and turns the direction of the outcome.  Even if you remember the news story from 2009, you’ll feel like you’re experiencing the dramatic ordeal for the first time.

Things I liked:  I absolutely adore Tom Hanks.  Who doesn’t?  His emotion at the end brought tears to my eyes.  So powerful.  (SPOILER ALERT:  I wanted to be that nurse and give him a big hug.)  Some of the close-ups were SO close that you could see the pores of the skin on people’s faces.  Not that I’ve ever actually met a real Somali, but the actors seemed very authentic.  You hate the pirates, yet feel sorry for them at the same time.  (SPOILER ALERT: The audience I sat with cheered at the end when the words on the screen revealed that Captain Phillips returned to work on ships after the terrifying ordeal.)  The human spirit is inspiring.

Things I didn’t like:  I wish there had been more character development of the crew on both sides – good guys and bad guys.  The beginning scenes in the flick were a bit choppy…perhaps intentional to reflect the movement of the water that was to come?   

Uplifting theme: Heroism is doing scary things with courage.  Navy Seals are total studs.  In the words of Captain Phillips, “You gotta be strong to survive out there.”

Funny line:  Not really funny, but true:  “I got bosses" says the leader of the Somali pirates.  Captain Phillips replies "We all got bosses.”

Tips for parents: Violence and blood, but not as much swearing as you would expect from a ship’s burly crew.  The Somalis constantly feed on a stimulant called Khat.

Grade: A-

Gravity takes off at the box office

Movie Title: Gravity

In a Nutshell: Wow. How did they film that? Gorgeous. Simply stunning. A feast for the eyes.

Things I liked: I loved it when Sandra Bullock (SPOILER ALERT) finally gets back into the capsule, strips off her astronaut gear and slowly sinks into the fetal position, floating and breathing like a baby in the womb. Very powerful. I also loved it when she (SPOILER ALERT) crawls out of the ocean like a primordial creature and collapses with the sand between her fingers. She staggers and has a joyful, celebratory moment of life on earth. The musical score was wonderful and the pictures of earth from space were breathtaking.
Sandra Bullock is more bankable than ever.

Things I didn’t like: There wasn’t much of a plot. It really was about the physical and emotional journey and the miracle of life. I get dizzy easily, so I specifically chose not to watch this film in IMAX 3D, but I imagine it’s amazing.

Uplifting theme: Life is worth fighting for. While the universe is an incredible masterpiece, mankind is God’s greatest creation.

Tips for parents: Two swear words. Two scary dead people faces. Young kids may be a bit bored.

Funny line:  "Man, I hate space."

Grade: A-

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters gets a big waterlogged

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters movie review

One of the best words to describe this sequel to PercyJackson and the Olympians: The Lightening Thief is “demi-good.”  If you enjoyed the first movie, you’ll get a kick out of seeing the characters move on to another adventure.  If you felt the first movie was mediocre, I’ll warn you that this sequel is more cheesy than ever.

If you’re completely unfamiliar with the Percy Jackson books by Rick Riordan or the first movie, it helps to know that they’re based on Greek myths, bringing classical characters to life with a modern twist.  Unfortunately, the characters in the movie are a bit one-dimensional and the acting certainly won’t win anyone any Oscar nominations.

Kids between 6 and 15 will probably enjoy it, but most adults will experience a mixture of mild humor and rolling of the eyes. The dialogue is pretty lame, such as when the Greek god Hermes says “Rome wasn’t built in a day….trust me, I was there.”  On the other hand, he later tosses a golden nugget when talking about the “Hercules Show” and says “It was the best TV show ever.  So, of course it was canceled.”    Who hasn’t experienced that?  I laughed out loud during one of his sycophant moments when he said “I am killing these shorts.”

The entire movie felt like I was on a Disneyland ride.  Now, I enjoy the “Pirates of a Caribbean” ride at Disneyland, but you have to admit it’s pretty cheesy and tired.  There is some mention of “half-bloods” and this movie franchise seems to try a little too hard to replace our beloved “Harry Potter” flicks.

Die-hard Percy Jackson fans say the movies aren't completely true to the books, yet satisfying enough to make for a fun ride.

Grade: B-

Parental guidance:  The language is clean, and appropriate for family viewing, but small children may be frightened by some of the scary scenes.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians creates a teen following

 
The newest teen movie Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters is in theaters nationwide and before I review it, I felt like I had to at least watch the first one.  Better late than never, right?


Directed by Chris Columbus, who loves to make movies where teens are the heroes who save the day, The Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book 1) is the popular book series' first venture onto the big screen.  Like Percy says: "It's like high school without the musical."

 In a nutshell, a teenage boy suddenly discovers that he's the son of the mighty Poseidon and he sets off on a journey to save his mother (a mere mortal) and prevent a terrible battle between the other Greek gods on Mount Olympus. Percy is taken to Camp Half-Blood (sounds like Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince , right?) where he learns fighting skills and shows that he has what it takes.

It's a fun mixture of mythical characters and modern exploration into various dimensions.  It doesn't quite capture the Harry Potter magic that Chris Columbus is now famous for, but your pre-teens will enjoy it, especially if they've read any of the fantasy books by Rick Riordan.  Fans will tell you that the movie franchise is loosely based on the books, but it's close enough to leave them satisfied with the effort.

Logan Lerman plays the gutsy Percy who can stay under water for over 7 minutes in a swimming pool at the beginning of the movie because that's the place where he "can think."   Brandon Jackson (Grover) stars as Percy's best friend/comic-relief/secret guardian/half goat/junior protector who tries to earn his horns for watching over Poseidon's son.  The lovely Alexandra Daddario plays the aloof love interest (Annabeth) and Jake Abel provides the twist in the plot.  (Spoiler alert)

I loved seeing the beautiful Uma Thurman as the snake-covered Medusa and the gorgeous Rosario Dawson as Persephone, the bride of Hades.  Two beauties who are terrific actresses who can also sing very well.  I have a hard time with Pierce Brosnan, however.  I used to think he was so handsome, sophisticated, and charming when he played 007 in several James Bond flicks, but after his singing fiasco in Mamma Mia! The Movie , I just can't look at him the same.  He plays a wise centaur and, luckily, there is no singing.  The special effects in the film are a bit rough, but still pretty fun.

Because I currently live in Las Vegas, I got a kick out of the three teen heroes' visit to Sin City where they were sucked into the glitz and glamor of the Lotus casino.  The sign on the casino says "You Will Never Want To Leave" and the teens realize, after 5 days of partying, that their senses have indeed been dulled and that they lost track of time.  So true of Vegas.  By the way, there really was a Lotus Casino in Las Vegas, but it closed in 1978.  Casinos in Vegas don't have windows, so you really do lose track of time.   The Unofficial Guide to Las Vegas 2013 (Unofficial Guides)

On a spiritual note, it's the father's voice that finally reminds them to get back to their mission.  Can you recognize your Heavenly Father's voice?  Do you know what your mission is?
 
As the teen trio enters the Underworld, they are told it is a pace where "wishes never come true, a scrapheap of human misery, and a place of lost hopes and dreams."  While the Percy Jackson films may not be as complex and artistic as those deserving Oscar wins, they keep the young-at-heart dreaming of adventurous fantasies and noble accomplishments.  Dreaming is good.


Grade = B

Parental warning: No bad language.  Scenes entering Hades are a bit scary for young children, including bodies grabbing at the teen heroes. Hades appears as a frightening and fiery monster twice.

Planes takes a nose dive for Disney

If Planes was about a bomber, then it would be mission accomplished. The voice talents of Dane Cook, Stacy Keach, John Cleese, Brad Garrett, and Priyanka Chopra are the best things about the movie Planes, a Disney release, but NOT a Pixar production.  It is Prana Animation Studios that put this one together.  Not exactly a household name, but they’re the ones who released Tinker Bell and Secret of the Wings (another Tinker Bell movie) straight to DVD release.   Unfortunately, the quality of this film reveals its history.

Planes was originally created to be a direct-to-DVD release, but when little ones clamor to see a summer flick with a giant tub of buttery movie-theater popcorn, why not squeeze more money out of it and slip it into the theaters first?  Ohhhhh, now this movie makes more sense.

The movie begins with the title “From above the world of Cars” hoping the Disney connection will help this movie to soar to megabucks.  It flops. Cars was somewhat unique and successful, and although Planes has a similar look, it doesn’t quite make it off the runway. Without Pixar’s humorous magic, the audience didn’t laugh for almost 15 minutes.  I don’t know if any parents ever did.  The humor is definitely geared towards younger children, almost at the parents’ expense.  The simplistic underdog story lacks the sophistication to entertain bored parents, yet provides endless stereotypes to offend them.

Dane Cook voices Dusy, a crop-duster who dreams of becoming a racing plane, has a secret fear of heights.  Kinda lame, right?

While most movie critics consider this film to be a soulless cash grab, there are some visually colorful aerial views of landscapes, although older folks may get dizzy in the 3D version.  (I’m showing my age.)  Little ones who love airplanes will be in heaven and the merchandising profits are sure to please Disney. The “believe in yourself” ending is predictable and unoriginal.  I mean, we just finished watching Turbo a couple of weeks ago.

It’s a disappointing movie theater trip, but at least you got your buttery popcorn fix.  Little ones will enjoy it.  Parents will endure it.  Are we going to see “Boats the Movie” next?

Grade = C

The depressing, yet inspiring Road

We all swooned and fell in love with Viggo Mortenson in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, but you’ve never seen him like this.   In The Road, Viggo plays a wilted father who travels to the coast in the south with his son in 2929, after some kind of end-of-the-world event happens.  We never quite know exactly what happened, but it has devastated the United States at least, and killed most humans, plants, and animals.

I was reading some emergency preparedness articles the other day about how to survive an apocalyptic event that some predict is coming to the earth soon.  There was mention of the movie The Road, and since I had never seen it when it came out in theaters, I finally watched a PG-13 version of this 2009 haunting movie on my computer.

My son had read Cormac McCarthy’s book of the same name and confirmed that the movie is very similar to what’s on the pages, and the depressing grey tones in every frame are true to the dark feeling the author tried to create. 

While the film is certainly depressing, the father and son’s journey is really one of hope.  When everything around you falls apart, the human soul’s natural desire is to hope that it will get better.  Some how.  Some day.  The story is painfully bleak, yet inspiring.

The beloved Robert Duvall makes a brief appearance, as does character actor, turned action hero, Guy Pearce, but it’s Viggo Mortenson’s powerful performance that truly carries the film.  His son is played excellently by Kodi Smit-McPhee and his wife is portrayed by the beautiful Charlize Theron. 

As a Christian, I’m confident the world isn’t going to end any time soon; however, I also believe it’s going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better.  Being prepared for any kind of emergency, whether it’s a natural disaster, terrorism, job loss, or city riots is crucial to feeling peace in a world gone crazy.

If you’re into the whole Doomsday Prepper stuff, check out my other son’s new web site where you can build your own custom-made 72 hour kit for bugging out at: www.emergencykitbuild.com

Rated R for disturbing images and horrific content.  You see the rear of Viggo a couple of times as he’s heading into a lake and the ocean, but his son remains modestly covered.  

Grade = A-

Grown Ups 2 is a waste of your money and time

Well, I hate to disappoint you, but Grown Ups 2 isn’t going to win any Oscar’s.  Big surprise, right?  While the first installment of Adam Sandler and his buddies pretending to be responsible parents was a fun, goofy flick, this return will bore and disgust you.  The script appears to have been written on a cocktail napkin while Sandler and his actor pals were all drunk out of their minds.

The all-star comedy cast shows that Saturday Night Live bonds last for many years.  I’m glad they’re all having fun and making millions together, but their humor really should be a little bit more grown up by now, don’t you think?  The film is full of crude jokes about barfs, farts, and every body part imaginable.  Fake boobs and coarse, exaggerated antics fill the screen, along with inane dialogue and gags that dwell too long.

Adam Sandler’s character, Lenny Feder, moves back to where he grew up with all of his buddies played by Chris Rock, Kevin James, and David Spade.  Other favorites in the cast include Salma Hayek Pinault, Maya Rudolph, Steve Buscemi, Colin Quinn, Jon Lovitz, Shaquille O’Neal and, of course, Rob Schneider.  Twilight lovers will cringe when they see Taylor Lautner playing a dumb, mean frat boy with lines that include such gems as “farthead.”

 

Adam Sandler attempts to recapture his youth by spewing out the most juvenile plot while insulting his audience.  It’s vulgar and definitely NOT funny.  Are all of the stars in the movie afraid to tell Sandler how bad this movie really is or do they simply not care?

PG-13 for being stupid and offensive, in addition to all of the other reasons.

Grade = F