Movie Title: The Darkness
Grade: D for doesn't bring anything new to the horror genre
Rating: PG-13,
1 hour 32 minutes
In a Nutshell: Nothing new here, folks, but if you’re like my
son who loves to watch silly -scary movies with his friends once they hit
Netflix, you’ll get a kick out of this one while you munch on popcorn.
Uplifting theme:
- Lesson
learned: don’t steal things from national parks.
- “The
world is filled with things we simply can’t explain.” – Wendy Richards
- “Sometimes
the answer you’re looking for comes from where you’re not looking.” –
Simon Richards (Paul Reiser)
Things I liked:
- You
get to see the evil creatures. Yay.
- Fans
of Agents of Shield will enjoy seeing Min-Na Wen as Wendy Richards.
- I live
a few blocks from a street named Anasazi, as Southern Nevada was first
inhabited by that tribe. The movie
uses Anasazi lore to build the story.
- I like
that they tried to make the house seem really lived in and not just a
set. For example, there are tons of
boxes in the garage, like at my house!
I loved their pretty kitchen cabinets.
Things I didn’t like:
- Who
the heck is Jenny? SPOILER
ALERT: We never get to find out.
- Full
of scary movie clichés like lights that don’t work when you need them to,
thunder at night, mopey teenager, a scary scene that turns into “just a
dream”, and some typical jumps and scares.
- The
ending is pretty anti-climactic.
- Teresa
Morales (Alma Martinez) uses divining rods to locate the evil
spirits. When I was in San Antonio,
I saw several ghost hunter tour groups wandering around town with those. The tourists loved every minute.
- Sometimes
there are Spanish subtitles, but not always. You’ll hear Teresa and Gloria yell “No
pertenecen a esta casa!” a lot at the evil ones. It means “You don’t belong to this
house!” “Salgan de aqui!” means “Leave
here!”
- I’ve
always loved Kevin Bacon, but he kind of looks a little creepy himself in this
movie and he's not supposed to be the scary guy! I'm surprised he agreed to be in this cheesy movie. Then again, did you ever see Tremors
?
- Peter
Taylor and his wife Bronny (what kind of a name is that?!) discuss a
previous affair he had. He lamely
defends himself by saying “The affair didn’t mean anything.” Why do men think their wives will
accept that as a valid excuse as if that makes everything fine? Infidelity means everything in a
marriage. I was impressed with his
wife when, later, she said “We deserve a happy ending, Peter. I forgive you.”
- Peter
makes fun of his wife for wanting a Bible to look for answers or
comfort. He explains to her that
you can’t find them in hotels anymore because people might be offended if
there is only one religion represented by the hotel. She says “Jesus!” and he replies, “Not
any more.”
- This
movie reminded me a lot of the last Poltergeist
movie.
- Autism plays a big role in the plot. Parents of autistic children might not like what is said about autism.
- The way you learn about the Anasazi mythology is when the characters watch YouTube videos....over and over again.
Funny lines:
- “You’ve got stellar capacity!” – Simon Richards
(Paul Reiser)
Interesting lines:
- “Dark
forces exist everywhere.” - (Ilza
Rosario)
- “Demons
bring out the darkness in people.” – Teresa Morales (Alma Martinez)
Tips for
parents:
- There
is discussion of an affair and infidelity.
- Bronny
Taylor (Radha Mitchell) drinks a lot of Vodka to drown her sorrows.
- 1
F-bomb, some other profanity.
- Young
children will be scared of the evil ones.
There is a scene with blood dripping down walls that will scare
them, as well as creepy hand prints that appear.
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