Sunday, September 27, 2015

The Perfect Guy is perfectly cliche

Movie:   Perfect Guy, The

Rating: PG-13, 1 hour 40 minutes

Grade:   C-

In a Nutshell:   What is supposed to be a suspenseful revenge thriller is more of a clichéd stalker flick  that you've already seen before.

Sanaa Lathan is beautiful.  So is Morris Chestnut and Michael Ealy.  It’s a troubled trio where the villain goes from hunky date to pyscho, killer in a split second. 

Uplifting Theme:
·         “Life is like a coin.  You can spend it on anything you want, but you can only spend it once.”  - her boss’ grandfather
·          Don't date psychos.

Things I liked:
·         Sanaa has super cute, sexy dresses in a lot of her scenes.  PARENT ALERT:  They all show LOTS of cleavage.
·          I love to see a strong woman kick bad-guy butt.

Things I didn’t like:
·         Call me old-fashioned or a religious freak, but see all the trouble you can avoid if you just don't sleep with people before you're married?
-     There is quite a bit of product placement from companies, which is distracting and doesn't do anything for the story.  I'm not talking about subtle things.  For example, the camera zooms in twice so you can see the Cadillac emblem.
·         Sanaa Lathan’s character plays a successful, smart lobbyist, yet time after time, she makes dumb decisions.  I hate it when a director can’t decide if the protagonist female is a strong woman or a helpless damsel in distress.  Pick one.
·         SPOILER ALERT:  This movie felt an awful lot like this year’s No Good Deed and ends the same way.  You can read my movie review of No Good Deed to see which movie you'd rather watch.
·         Unimaginative dialogue.

Tips for guys you can learn from this movie:
1.       Bring your girlfriend’s mother some flowers.  You'll score major points.
2.       Honor your parents’ rules when you’re in their house.  There is a moment when she tries to slip into her new boyfriend's bed in the guest room at her parents’ house, and he says “Take your hussie self back in the hallway and get back into your own bed.”  She acts frustrated, but then you see a pleased look on her face.  Girls really do want a guy who shows respect.
3.       Tell her you love her.
4.        Be persistent.  She asks her mother, “How did you know Daddy was the one?”  Her mother says, “I guess it was his persistence.  He said I was the love of his life and he wouldn’t take for no for an answer.”
5.  By the way, check out my newest book!  It’s all about how women think and how to improve your relationships with them!


Stupid lines:
·         “We’ve been dating for years.” – Leah Vaughn
“It’s been a wonderful 2 years.  I don’t want to lose you.” – Dave
My note:  Ummm… then, why don’t you marry her already?   And girls, why on earth do you think he's ever going to want to buy the cow when he get the milk for free?
·         “Give me 3 reasons why I shouldn’t buy you a drink.” – Pick=up line in a bar.  So guys, do lines like that really work on girls?

Tips for Parents:
·         Lots of suggestive dancing, sexy kissing, bathroom stall sex, and bedroom scenes with sounds…
·         Violence, terrible deaths, and profanity.
·         A cop tells the heroine to get a shotgun, which could be the start of a conversation about the 2nd Amendment, as well as how your daughters should protect themselves.
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